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[megumidesu]

i have family in california lol


there are bad people everywhere , like BA said . even the nicest place in the world is probably gonna have someone in it who's a total bastard

[Counselor]

i have family in california lol


there are bad people everywhere , like BA said . even the nicest place in the world is probably gonna have someone in it who's a total bastard

Only when Blue is on vacation...

[fenris]

don´t waste time with hate and rage....


hm ... but the wrong feeling I had on GS is gone ...

[trywait]

dang.... hang in there david.

[elad12]

Wow, thats beyond sick.

Too bad theres not some sort of public forum to post his pic and what he is...like they do for the "most wanted".

I got stuck in California for about 4 years (long story), and during that time, I discovered most of the people there are disgusting degenerates, most of them are so mentally F**KED up, I cant believe they are allowed to be out in public or hold jobs.

Dont get me wrong, I made two really awesome friends out there, and we still talk and email.
But the number of disgusting degenerates out there outnumber the decent people 10,000 to 1 (by my rough estimates).

From my viewpoint of people out there, there are only 2 types of people in CA....those trying to steal from you, those trying to kill you...literally.

I'd say, get the hell outta there. Move someplace else. ANY place else. Just get the hell out of CA!

It REALLY pisses me off when I hear people are treated like this! Ive worked with SO many people who have been abused, raped, and tortured, it just makes my blood boil.

Seriously, I would find some way of getting out of that state.

Whoa, I live in California. That is quite a statement. I've lived here my whole life. Not sure what kind of people you were hanging out with but man that statement reeks of some narrow minded thinking. Lets see that makes me a thief or a murderer? Give me a fucking break! (I'm sorry everyone, I just had to vent after that one)

[Counselor]

don´t waste time with hate and rage...

Can I at least hope the diabeetus takes his penis first, that way he's a literal dickless troll?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm surprised at how easily it is for many here to express their anger/rage.

I can't seem to manage expressing mine.... I envy those who can express these emotions...

I'm ever stuck in the mode of trying to be nice and make people happy, even when there is this huge sucking black hole in the middle of my chest.

So just so everyone knows where my mind ranges - not saying I'm going to do any of this - but I think it.

In truth, I have contemplated hunting him down and doing all manner of horrible things which are, I fear, exactly the type of person I can be when angered. I can be a very vengeful SOB... I actually hate that part of me.

Going there in my head hurts - a lot.


That is offset with periods of wanting to put my gun in my mouth and blow my own brains out.

I have a bullet here on my desk that I keep picking up and toying with... Um a couple days ago I put the muzzle in my mouth. The only thing that stopped me is I know how ugly that would be for Dan to find.

Yeah I know, not typically healthy behavior. But that is where I really am.

Also, I have decided to be an atheist. God is either an incredibly malicious and cruel Bastard, or He doesn't exist.

I can live easier just assuming He doesn't Exist.

One too many unanswered prayers. One too many assholes in my life. I can no longer accept there is a plan or a purpose. Its meaningless, directionless and pretty much petty and ugly.

This is not a broken heart thing, this is the devastation of the mind game, the whole horror of having a person purposefully put me back in the unsafe places I was in. His actions are no better than what those people did to me, same intent, no doubt to harm just to cause harm.

[Undreamt]

The important thing is to remember not to blame yourself. This is on him.

Also I know that its easy to be jaded but don't let your experiences with him make you loose trust in everybody else, he is NOT normal and I would say has some serious mental disorders (Borderline Personality disorder and Sociopathy comes to mind - Think Chris Keller from the TV series Oz)

It is hard to recover from mental abuse but you will recover.
Things could have been alot worse and now you recognise him for what he is and he can't hurt you anymore.

[Kat]

You have my number Bowyn Aerrow so call me anytime you want. He set me back too but not as bad as he did you because I didn't love him.

Now that we are comparing notes, I can see where he played some of the same games with both of us and he was not a friend to anyone because those kinds of people never are. I refuse the let him be the one to give them the win they want and I hope you don't either Bowyn Aerrow.

[AdrianMarcus]

What the hell? That is so fucked up I don't even know what to say. I think you should try to talk to someone that you can trust who is neutral. My friend is a shrink and he told me that you can pretty much schedule an appointment with a therapist for one or two sessions. Not for yourself, but so you can have someone who knows what they are talking about explain crazy-psycho-asshole to you, and so that you can bounce whatever is going on in your mind off of someone that you KNOW you can trust.

This has to be the worst thing I have ever heard! It is so fucking malicious! I'm so fucking angry at this guy. Why do people do this kind of shit. He is probably reading the forum now and laughing is ass off because I think that is probably what those kinds of psychopaths do.

I really think you should take some time for yourself, and talk to someone neutral that you can trust that is not related to the forum, or anyone you met online. This will sound stupid coming from me, because I don't know you, but please talk to someone so that you can make sense of all of this before it really leaves a permanent emotional scar. I know you have to be hurting, I can only imagine, it is hard enough finding a relationship when you're gay to have to also put up with this shit is unbelievable!

Here I was worrying about my crush being gay or straight. I will never complain again. I am sorry for the rant, but I am so upset by what happened to you. I know I said this already but I don't understand why. Why would somebody do that kind of shit?

I'm so sorry^10^10^10.