This is new to me. lol....Even though i didn't know it existed....I still broke it. Don't put extra unneeded pressure on yourself. Go your own pace.
Mick
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I have dated three guys total...
Two were for a little over a month and nothing sexual happened because things just didn't feel "right" for me from early on and just deteriorated from there.
The third guy, we really clicked from the get-go, I met up with him much earlier on than any other guys (all of these started online, I should add), and we had sex maybe two weeks after we first started talking (my first time).
I always thought I'd wait at least a month before getting involved with someone sexually, but everything just felt so right with him and I went for it. Five months later, we are still going strong and have plans to move in together at some point.
My point probably echoes others' and is that if it feels right, there is no "rule." It sounds like you two have really hit it off and the third date may be the right time, but not because of a rule or expectation.
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Thanks. That helps a lot. It'd be pretty sweet if I have the same result.
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tealwindex Wrote:*Sigh* So many mixed messages....I wish there was a clear cut answer. I'll just have to wait and see, I guess....I'm just worried about being a miserable hot mess like the day later, if I don't hear anything. Oh...the stress of it all. Trying to have a relationship sucks. It'd be neat if you could skip the trying to be in a relationship part, and just magically end up in one. If you want a clear cut answer, you've come to the wrong place! Guys here have had such a variety of experiences (some great, some uncomfortable or worse) that you are bound to get mixed messages. Read them all and notice which ones seem to resonate with you.
Forget the "3rd date rule". I've never taken that into consideration in any dating or relationship. They all have their own timing. For some guys, waiting weeks or months as they get to know a date is great. Other guys rush in and end up having a fantastic experience.
Trying to have a relationship does suck, until you compare it to the alternative. If you could just magically end up in one, you'd miss all the great, messy, exciting, frustrating, experiences we call "learning". It's not always easy (I've been deep in the heartache and confusion), but it's worth it.
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Forget the 3rd date rule and have sex whenever you want it to happen, though it does sound like you really want to do it on the 3rd date. Don't be too concerned about being "good" at it. Your instincts will take over, especially if you like each other. Over-thinking it doesn't help.
I don't understand why so many people are obsessed with having to date before sex. I had sex with my current BF within the first 15 minutes of meeting him(well, we did chat for a week or so), spent two days fooling around in bed and had the first real conversation on the 2nd date. We have been in a happy relationship for nearly three years now. Not that I advocate having sex with random people and seeing what happens, but getting a general impression can be enough to assess if it might work out or not and sex is also an important indicator.
Most importantly, don't take any advice or traditions too seriously. Do what feels right, not what somebody says is right.
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Forget the rule , only do what you are comfortable doing, and please play it safe.
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Given that it would depend on how often you are going to see the person in any given period of time, and then it would also depend on how long you get to spend with them each time, I guess the connection can be felt more or less strongly, depending on where you both are, so I don't think such a rule is useful. Have you been chatting online or texting before you've met in real life? If you have maybe the new thing in your relationship will be the physical thing... so as others have said, play it by ear, and go with your feelings. If you want to give yourself time, then so be it. If you're madly horny or it's love at first sight, why not go with the flow. Go prepared for the sex and don't dwell on it if it doesn't happen. At least, if it happens, you'll have prepared yourself. Don't look to eager, though, as it might be unsettling for your partner.
Since you're getting a hotel room, and you'll be able to take things slowly and be intimate without being disturbed by neighbours or roommates, you could start by having a shower together or a bath together (if there's a bathtub) . You've already done the naked thing, so you shouldn't be too worried about that anymore now. Then you could offer a backrub or massage, while lying on the bed, which is a nice way of getting tender and physical...
Sex is sex whether there is penetration or not. There's plenty of stuff you can do pretty safely, showing you are comfortable with one another's bodies and not necessarily leading to one of you giving up their ''virginity''. There's manual sex, oral sex, caresses and kissing, cuddling, massage, all of these things are great ways of exploring your eroticism and tenderness.
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Tealwindex, I think you should not go expecting a relationship to develop, at least not in the immediate aftermath. For men, I believe it is the sex that can eventually turn into a relationship, where women would probably only deliver sex if they knew or thought there was a relationship going already. I think we, as a gender, are more likely to commit once we've tried the pudding. ( we want more, doing it again and again) But then maybe that's just my thinking.
Have the sex, if the mood's right that night (since it's Valentine's Day, there's a chance the mood will be in cue), and keep your hopes up but don't fall for the idea that you've got it made. For some guys, deciding that they ARE in a relationship takes some time before it actually processes. So don't go saying you're "boyfriends" or "in a relationship" unless you've both agreed to it. I'm guessing that a relationship would probably also mean being pretty exclusive. That too needs to be discussed.
Good luck! Have fun. Be safe.  mile: Happy Valentine's Day.
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Do what you feel is comfortable. Dont rush into anything.
Dont force anything, and dont pretend you are ready when you are not, and dont pretend to like something when you dont.
Theres something to be said for waiting until the right time.
Theres also a lot of us who like huggin and kissin, and leaving the sex till "whenever".
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