Straight Friend's Relationship

[pellaz]

He's been married five times so he must have magnets in his pockets to attract the stupid
Sorry

[Tim]

He's been married five times so he must have magnets in his pockets to attract the stupid
Sorry

She's never been with a guy like this before. Her last boyfriend she found out was using drugs and she dumped him practically the next day. She's always been fiercely independent. I would never call her stupid, she's quite intelligent with a great job, this guy is just very good at what he does.

[Pix]

She's never been with a guy like this before. Her last boyfriend she found out was using drugs and she dumped him practically the next day. She's always been fiercely independent. I would never call her stupid, she's quite intelligent with a great job, this guy is just very good at what he does.

Now that's terrifying.

And when the woman I knew in her 50s (who had been asexual until she suddenly fell hard for a man, and she strongly implied she enjoyed being sexually dominated & abused by him even after decades of her helping promote women's self-defense against sexual violence) was also brilliant, independent, strong...she DID have some severe emotional problems but I couldn't believe it when she so radically changed, and basically acted as if a cult had gotten her. She was also an intense dog person, she LOVED dogs, but she was actually going to have her beloved dog put down (others trying to save her from herself did manage to find a home for the dog at least) because her new guy didn't want dog hair clogging up his computer and the dog didn't like him! (She also got rid of her unicorn figurines and posters because he thought unicorns were silly.) What happened with her, and my creepy experience at talking with her (very much like talking to a pod person of who she used to be!) to find out what was going on and then to agree with the others about the guy being very bad news and trying to convince her of the same (and she took to spreading absurd lies about me just as she did everyone else, and making no-win demands to justify excluding me from her life), it made "body snatcher" movies (and some Buffy/Angel eps featuring mind control magic) scarier to me because it suddenly became somehow more plausible.

I like to think that this could never happen to me. And maybe lacking her severe emotional problems it can't, or maybe it's something physical (hormonal & neurological changes, for example), but the thought of me becoming like that terrifies me about as much as getting Alzheimer's. I'm going to think of a plan to at least attempt a deprogramming of me by close friends (and maybe make it a mutual agreement) that may include illegal acts to try to help us save each other from such a horrible fate just in case it happens. But as it's incomprehensible to me (maybe I'll add "spell breaking/dispel magics" to things to try during deprogramming), I'm not sure what would work...and "pod person-me" would have a good idea what to expect and take precautions, too (such as telling my new evil, soul-sucking master what to expect and who to report to the cops if I go missing).

Gah. Please, never let it happen to me or those I'm closest to now. :frown:

[jpazli123]

I think since you have been her friend so long then you probably have to at least make her aware of your feelings on the subject as she may feel betrayed by you if keep them to yourself.

[Tim]

Pix, I'm happy that her dog was saved. That's very scary that a person could ever change so drastically as to kill a beloved pet.

I think part of my friend's saving grace at the moment is that she owns her own home and she's quite territorial. She likes things in a certain way and, for instance, even if you tell her that brand x of toilet paper is 200 times better and cheaper, she'll never buy it because she has her own reasons for liking brand y toilet paper and that trumps all. She's always been a person who understands what she likes and makes no excuses about living that way.

I suspect if she didn't own her own home, she might already be married and moved into his and he would be breaking her down even faster.

Like your friend, she also collects (but not unicorns) and he has given her a hard time about that. She told me whenever he sees she has bought something new he asks her how much it cost and why is it so different from what she already has, so now she hides stuff immediately so he doesn't think she buys as much. Although, that's not been as much of a problem lately because whenever she goes shopping now it makes her mentally exhausted and as such doesn't collect as much anymore.

[Beaux]

I have been through something similar with my best-friend\cousin. I am sorry to say, you are in a poor position regarding what to do, from my experience.
When I tried to dissuade my cousin from a bad relationship, it was I who got the boot instead of him (though a few years later, she dumped him and apologized to me---then met another super-religous guy and "disowned" me again).

Imo? Just let it run its course and stay out of the cross fire...

[Tim]

I have been through something similar with my best-friend\cousin. I am sorry to say, you are in a poor position regarding what to do, from my experience.
When I tried to dissuade my cousin from a bad relationship, it was I who got the boot instead of him (though a few years later, she dumped him and apologized to me---then met another super-religous guy and "disowned" me again).

Imo? Just let it run its course and stay out of the cross fire...

Beaux, I'm just curious, after this second time, would you accept it if your cousin apologized again? I ask because I'm not sure I could.