My boyfriend of 3 years tells me he is not gay anymore

[iTizzy]

My former boyfriend and I was together for 3 years. We shared a beautiful dog together name Jazzy. I am not the first guy he has ever be in a relationship with. Also, he is not the first guy I have been in a relationship with. I am without a doubt in love with him. He is the type of guy that holds his feelings in until its too late. However, when he do express his feelings I could tell they were true feelings.

I have been by his side from day one. The day I realized I was in love with him is the day I knew I no longer wanted to live my life without him. Well, he has not been the dreamy boyfriend but he has been the best I have ever had. His past relationships guys cheated, Lied and played with his emotions. I told him from day 1 I was different and I do not have to tell him because I can prove it. He was very hard on me in the beginning of our relationship. Plus, I had recently gotten out of an abusive relationship before I met him. So, I was honestly terrified of him. He promised me that he would never put his hands on me. Although, In his past relationships him and his ex's would physically fight sometimes during arguments.

After a while I opened up to him but he still mad me nervous. I have never been with a guy that I was just nervous every time he comes around. When he leaves my presence I instantly feel lost. Even now he stay on my mind morning, noon, and night. I have dreams about him. I prayed to God before I met him because I was at a point of giving up on love. I prayed for God to send me true love and a lasting relationship. If he sent me that then I would do anything possible no matter what to make sure it last.

I asked him to be honest with me and think about my question. I said, "do you see your life without me"? He said, "no". I said, "good, because I do not see my life without you". During this time we had been dating a year and a few months. We have had some rough patches and we always over come them together. A few weeks before he changed my life forever, he said, "I do not see myself being with anyone else but you".

Anywho, long story short....on December 10, 2012, He walked in the house and told me, "my uncle who is a preacher told me, no one knows what you do be I know. If you do not change your ways then you will die early. he claim he tried to ignore it but he could not get it off his mind. He said he went to his auntie and talked with her about it. She told him, warning comes before destruction. if you do not listen to God he will turn you over to anything power and have nothing else to do with you. And he do not want to be that person". Shocked all I could do was cry and beg him not to leave me. He took our dog and left. He no longer answer my phone calls or text messages. I have not tried contacting him in over a month. I haven't seen the dog since he left. He will not let me see the dog or anything.

Deep in my heart I feel God did not let me down. I feel he has given me the guy I am suppose to marry. I honestly do not know what to do or how to get over this. Everything I do does not feel the same. I feel complete lost without him. I have cried everyday since he left out of my life. I have lost most of my friends because they say "Oh well, get over it and move on". I have tried telling everyone it is different this time. I have been in love before and it has never felt like this. Even my first love didn't feel like this and it took me 3 years to get over him. My counselor told me it will get better soon he been in my shoes before. He told me I will meet others and fall in love again. I told him it is different this time. I broke down and went home and cried to my mom like a baby. I have never went to my mom crying about a guy. I have cried over a few guys but not where I had to go to my mom. She as actually disappointed, this guy that I love so deeply she has never met.

I have never been so sure of love than I am not and it seem as if no one is believing me. I feel destroyed! I need some advice...Help me because I am honestly insane. I looked in the mirror today and I don't know why but I cut my eyebrows off. I'm not ashamed of them but i just did it. I promise it is different this time. (sorry for the long thread)

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Hi iT and to the forum. I just wish it could be under better circumstances than you've outlined above

Do you honestly think that he's turned his back you you because of pressure from his family, or is or is it possible that he's just decided that it wasn't working out between you and decided to cut and run? I only ask because there are normally warning signs, sometimes you only spot them in hindsight, but they are usually there.

Was anything amiss or said in the days leading up to him walking out?

Your headline says your BF has said he's not gay, but you don't mention that in the text anywhere. Has he actually said that, or are you assuming that?

Whatever has happened, the pain your feeling right now is very real, and may feel like it will never end. Ive been there, and the phrase "broken hearted" pretty much sums it up.

The forum is here to help you thought this, and maybe help you understand whats happened. A few of us have been through similar situations so you're not on your own.

Good Luck

ObW
X

[Spades]

Hi Tiz. As I said in the chat room, see if you can get this video to him, and again... *hugs*

[MisterTinkles]

First off, Im not religious by any means.

But I do understand the mentality of the religious sects, since I was brought up in the south, where its VERY bad to NOT be religious.

First off, the relatives of your boyfriend are trying to convert him, which is WRONG on so many levels.
Even some religious sects believe its wrong to try and convert someone...they are supposed to come to faith by their own hand, not be harassed, used, and threatened into it.

I have an Aunt who I never thought was religious, but I heard her talking about it one day. I asked her why she didnt go to church, since she said she believed in God. Here is what she told me.....
"God doesnt live in a brick building with fancy windows, he lives in my heart. I know whats right from listening to my heart, I dont need any preacher to tell me whats what".

I was very proud of my Aunt when she said that. Regardless of my feelings for religions on this planet, I know she is a good person, and she proved it to me by what she said. She doesnt go around threatening people and harassing them, and teling them they are going to DIE if they dont convert to HER ways of believeing.

Your mate needs to get away from these people. THEY will be the death of him! They are false profits, and opporunists. I have seen and heard it way too many times not to know what these people are doing. They are using him to try and convert him, so they can have a "powerful" status in their church. They are nothing but greed mongers. Greedy for power over other people.

And this is nothing more than pure EVIL. They dont give a damn about HIM, they just want to "turn" people to their corrupted evil ways so they can have status in their little assbackwards community.

Get him away from these people, FAST. Otherwise you will lose him forever.

[Tim]

I just wanted to say that I had someone in my life whom I had sort of similar feelings for. Not quite, but I understand the direction of where you're coming from.

I haven't seen him in almost 10 years. It took a long time, but it got better. I still think of him now and then, but I realize it was all a blessing in disguise. I recently saw a photo of him and I felt absolutely nothing, in fact I thought, thank God!

Religion is a very powerful thing, if he grew up in that environment as it sounds, it might always be an issue for him even if he were to come back to you. I myself, grew up in a Southern Baptist home and environment with family who were ministers. However, I never once heard anti-gay discussion because we believed the Old Testament was solely meant for historical purposes, not something to guide your life by. That said, I've still had issues with my identity, I can't imagine how impossible it must be for someone who grew up hearing anti-gay messages.

My only advice is to not obsess and allow yourself to live a happy life even if he's not in it.

[dfiant]

I would hate to be a cut and dry sort of person, but your ex is an arsehole.

Move on, time will heal.

[Viltans]

I have an Aunt who I never thought was religious, but I heard her talking about it one day. I asked her why she didnt go to church, since she said she believed in God. Here is what she told me.....
"God doesnt live in a brick building with fancy windows, he lives in my heart. I know whats right from listening to my heart, I dont need any preacher to tell me whats what".
.

She's entirely right, if only more people thought like her, world would be a better and tolerant place!

I'm not into religion at all, but sometimes I feel like I applied more principles of charity than some religious people... But I noticed that the true beliviers think like her.

You're right to be proud of her

[Aeneas]

religion... destroying hearts and lives since 2000 BC.


"if you do not listen to God he will turn you over to anything power and have nothing else to do with you."

what kind of God is this?


i am sorry if i am offending anyone but i am sick to my stomach. these people should be put away for convincing others to adopt the miserable lives they live and preach.

[Counselor]

Your eyebrows will grow back, don't worry about it too much. If your boyfriend was fickle enough to drop such a serious relationship to pander the discomfort of the "wrath of god", you might look at this as a blessing that he ended it and took Jazzy as a reminder of how foolish he is.

[zeon]

Hello,
I am sorry to hear that religion once again things the world is going to end.. I think your boyfriend needs to understand that being gay is nature and a way of controlling population because when the world gets too populated nature kills of people not whether ur gay or not. Religion is ment to be about love and happiness not breaking things up... Maybe suggest if you do get hold of him get him to come to this forum and meet other people who can actually tell him that being gay isnt a sin you dont die early and u can lead a happy life and out live a lot of hetrosexuals...

kindest regards and welcome

aunty zeon]
gayspeak agony aunt