Dating question

[AtlantaMan]

Hey guys,

I need some advice but I'm kind of embarrassed to ask.

I know a guy that I've dated some and was thinking I'd like to take it to the next level. I know he's into me. The problem happened when we went out on Friday night.

He got totally smashed and started acting really fem and loud (he's usually very masculine). I was very uncomfortable. I told him he was embarrassing me and he'd calm down for a minute or two and then start up again.

I'd tell him when he's sober what I was thinking and feeling but he said that he was letting me see the real him. I don't want to squash the real him but I like him better like I've seen him before.

Any thoughts? I feel like I'm being really petty because I like him but maybe it's not worth feeling uncomfortable when he's "being himself".

[ThatRobGuy]

I've noticed that most gay guys, even masculine ones, have their effeminate side every now and then. It sounds like he doesn't get smashed very often? If he's typically masculine when he's sober, and you can put up with the effeminate side the few times he may get smashed, then it's probably no big deal?

[gilhooly]

You are not being petty if you object to a possible addiction to alcohol. A guy getting smashed with me would notice I had left and would not return his calls.

You do sound petty if you dislike effeminate guys. Trust me, I was a well trained marine and would punch people in the mouth if they annoyed me. Effeminacy is a normal trait in many guys because we all have an x chromosone from our mothers. I like or dislike effeminate guys because of their personalities. Some may be annoying but some guys make me laugh so hard being gay that I fall in love with them.

[golias]

if you still like him,then continue or if you get bored and can't bear, just go.It's so simple.
To me i am not attractive to feminine guys.They just turn me off.But I just dislike them not hate them.
Plus,how can he make a 180 degree turn in his behavior?I cannot understand that.

[knisely852]

if you still like him,then continue or if you get bored and can't bear, just go.It's so simple.
To me i am not attractive to feminine guys.They just turn me off.But I just dislike them not hate them.
Plus,how can he make a 180 degree turn in his behavior?I cannot understand that.

I agree with you lol

[Bowyn Aerrow]

No drunks do not magically tell the truth, no their 'true colors' do not magically appear.

What happens is alcohol allows us to drop our inhibitions and allows us to do things we normally wouldn't do.

This doesn't mean that this is who he is. Drunks have a weird sense of humor as well as other 'skewed' thoughts. Thus he may have thought while drunk he was being funny, but sober would be as horrified at his own behaviors as you are.

[historical]

it might be he was acting on best behaviour sober - but the real him shone like a glitterball after a few!

[NoOtherLove]

it might be he was acting on best behaviour sober - but the real him shone like a glitterball after a few!

I concur...

I don't believe that a person
Can change to that extent, if he's showing
That those are his true colors then believe him
And if you are so uncomfortable maybe he's not for you.
I think maybe you were attracted to what he portrayed himself to be
And not necessarily who he truly is.