Needing some guidance!

[Jamez]

Hello,
I have some relationship questions that I could really use some input/advice on. A little back story here.. I have been dating a guy for about four months now, I am 25 and he is in his 50's. We live a considerable distance apart (1,000+ miles) and have spent 3 four day weekends together since meeting. We communicate thru text, phone calls, skype, all day, every day and seem to be very compatible. He is very respectful, intelligent and sweet and we get along great. We both have good jobs and own homes, but I am leaning towards moving closer to him if I can find a job. Not only do I want to be closer to him and further pursue the relationship, I want to get away from my small town and close minded friend's/community. I am not out to my friend's, but am to my family. This is my first relationship with a man. I have already decided it would be best not to move in right away, just to get to know each other better and not rush things I am feeling like my life is at a stand still and could use any and all advice. Thanks guys. (Sorry it got a bit lengthy).

[SolemnBoy]

Just be aware that a lot of closeminded people, both from your side and his side, are going to be prejudiced because of the age difference. Although I'm sure you already knew that.

That's the only thing I could think of. Good luck with everything!

[EvenOlderButWiser]

You only live once as they say, and if you've both discussed this (as opposed to you just assuming this is what he wants) then I would go for it

Personally I wouldn't worry about the age difference (it really is just a number) but be prepared for some questions from the family about the move, including wanting details about your partner if they haven't met him.

My other piece of advice is if you can afford to retain your own home - the one near your family - then I would, just incase you need a plan B (You can always rent it out in the meantime if you wanted some cash-flow)

Good Luck

ObW
X

[Jamez]

Thanks for the responses! My family knows all the details and fully support my decision and he has expressed muliple times he would like me to move there (extending his home to me as well).

[Aeneas]

plan for any contingency.



i think this is all very nice but don't put yourself in the situation where you depend on him.

personally, i wouldnt move in with him just yet. but if you do, make sure he knows you are doing it because you want to and not because you have to. remember, your job will be there once you move and you might want to keep it there if all falls apart.

[MisterTinkles]

I must have blinked and missed it....

Was there a question in that?

[Jamez]

Sorry, I wrote this up quick at work. I did not really state any direct questions. So..
-Do you think it is a good idea to move for a relationship?
-Yay or nay on moving in with each other or what is a reasonable time to wait?

And just looking for any advice on the age difference or dating in general! Thanks.

[MisterTinkles]

Sorry, I wrote this up quick at work. I did not really state any direct questions. So..
-Do you think it is a good idea to move for a relationship?
-Yay or nay on moving in with each other or what is a reasonable time to wait?

And just looking for any advice on the age difference or dating in general! Thanks.

As Ive stated in other age posts.....age is just a number.

Some people moved in next to us when I was in high school. He was in his 60s, she was in her 20s. They were happy together until he passed away many years later.
Dont get hung up on "age", get hung up on whether he is good to you and good for you.

Personally, I have perferred older men all of my life, although none of them preferred me.

Now that *I* am the "older man", I find myself attracted to guys my own age and younger.

I go for personality traits, not age, and not so much on looks either. If he's an awesome guy, he will be good looking to me.


You seem to have things planned out well, so I would stick with your plan. Dont rush things.

[Jamez]

Yeah, I am not too hung up on the age part. Like I said, we are very compatible and have similar interests so that makes all the difference. I am not attracted to guys my age (although there could always be an exception). It is just interesting to get a second opinion.

[darunzahn]

Hey there fellow Wisconsinite!

I'll chime in with the chorus that age isn't a factor when it comes to love.

I think moving closer has a good chance of strengthening your relationship even more and after seeing where things are going then you could always move in. It really depends though if you two feel ready for it. You said your family is supportive of both of you, which is fantastic and I think that will greatly help convincing your partner to visit your family instead of having to live close to them.

I'm in a similar situation with a fairly homophobic environment and I relate to the desire to move away from it, but staying for the nearness of family. I say go for it though. Not only are you moving closer to him, but the move could serve just to put you in a more comfortable area where there's not as much negativity.