Feel Disgusted After Wanking

[AppleGeek]

yea this is veryyyyyyy common. it happens to me too :p

[Miles]

I used to feel guilty, years ago. Now it's just a "YAAAAAAAYYYYYyyyooooooouuuuuuugggghhhooookay that's over, back to work" kinda thing.

[Lalo]

^^ ^^

[SonicRainbow]

Yeah all the time, it's really weird. .-.

[Pix]

I would guess it's different parts of the brain. The part that deals with sex momentarily takes over and after it has been sated then the "default" part of the brain reasserts itself which may believe wanking (and/or what was fantasized about) is disgusting.

I've heard masturbation is supposed to be mentally & physically healthy...I wonder how much the attitude one has about it affects health, however. :confused:

Oh, WAIT! Could it be that so many males share on the net about wanking (or at least pretending to), or other socially taboo (like saying what he wants to do with her feet) is actually a desperate attempt to find validation in that they're not such a freak? :confused:

I'd always assumed it was exhibitionism (flashing with virtually no fear of arrest as if they'd done it in real life), attention seeking, juvenile humor, or even just an extreme form of flirting (whereas instead of saying, "You're hot," says, "I'm typing one handed" to make sure it's clear how attracted he is and desperately hoping she flirts back in a similar way). But maybe he feels so alone, so freakish, he may understand mentally that it's a very common practice and yet emotionally feel something is wrong with him and if others can affirm him then he can feel better about himself...just a thought this thread inspired in me about a practice I've found common yet baffling on the internet (and occasionally real life).

Btw, guilt is very common in women who masturbate as well. Like that comedian implied above many women don't see a difference between masturbation and sex (given how many of these women are very religious, at least those who admitted this to me, I wonder if it's not taking the part of "sinning in one's heart" to heart so that the very impulse itself is damning rather than a failure to control that impulse, which has very disturbing implications for those who actually think about that), so like some girls were talking about how they were "cheating on their future husbands" (that they haven't even met yet!) by masturbating (they were more upset than amused when I told them to keep practicing because a great many men fail to get an orgasm out of a woman, and I later read in an article that I've linked to before on how one woman was upset because she married a guy and yet she still couldn't stop masturbating, she felt she was evil).

I believe guilt over masturbation is different for guys, however...my impression (a lot of it deduced, but a couple of guys have spoken candidly about it to me) is that it's more of feeling like a loser than a cheater...that is a man is supposed to be a hunter, a provider, and by masturbating he's "admitting" that he can't find and keep a woman and thus isn't really a man. Furthermore, men value self-control a lot more, and so giving in is a sign of weakness, vulnerability, and by tangent, a fear of death (both in being helpless before the needs of the flesh to symbolically on how the penis falls after, and I read something about how women being able to refuse men sex can trigger a fear left over from being an infant of being denied a mother's breast and thus actually trigger an irrational fear/anger at women and one's own erotic nature as a result). Interesting enough, whereas most females who share about feeling intense guilt over masturbation were at least raised extremely religious (whether or not they still were), religion seems irrelevant for whether or not men feel guilt (though I could see gay men feeling guilty over homosexual fantasies, but that's not over masturbation directly).

If anyone is lucid enough to share WHY they feel guilt I'd be curious because I know very little about gay men & women who feel guilt over it.

[Aems]

I've had that for a while - I have a few fetishes that are kind of kinky so I felt awkward and (in a strange sense) "unproductive" like I should have been spending my time elsewhere. That feeling went away for me when I became more important in my position at work and more comfortable in multiple pursuits so I didn't feel like I was wasting time or just feeding a strange habit.

Honestly, I think eroticism is wonderful. I for a long time really didn't like it, but it's really pleasure for the sake of pleasure in excess of the normal utility of something. I like personally that I can get kinda weird, ya know? I suppose it's perspective.

[ToddYoung]

This was a real problem for me when I was a teenager. I used to feel absolutely disgusted with myself.

A few years ago, I heard or read somewhere that the few moments after a guy orgasms is the only time he can be truly honest with himself. I think the theory went something along the lines of how most of the time guys are thinking about sex or how to get it, and it's only just after an orgasm that he can turn a problem over in his mind and see it for what it is.

Strangely enough, I've tried this, and it does seem to work. Right after (I don't have the guilt problem so much anymore) I'll think about something that's been bugging me, or something I'm working on in my writing, and I can see (or at least I feel I can) how things really are.

The thing that gets me with the guilt these days is that I'll think about masturbating, and just think, yeah, I don't want to think about that sort of shit at the moment -- like I don't want to go there.

And then other times with the books I've written (I write erotic novels) I'll think of them and just feel disgusted with myself about something I've written, and they're out there, for anyone to buy. People are reading them all over the world, and it's like, man, that's so weird. All this weird shit in my head and there's people getting off on it somewhere.