I am so afraid of being alone.

[Anonymous]

I am so afraid of being alone. I am not a good mixer and I haven't got anyone no best friend. no one to turn to I am have been alone for years and it hurts. I just want to be loved and share my life with some one.

[unkown21]

Im sorry you havent found anyone yet. I havent either. I just have this feeling that I will someday. Have you tried any of the gay bars in your area? Also, websites are good to meet your soul mate on. Like Plenty of Fish .com is a free website that is pretty descent. You can also try OKCUPID and Zoosk. Think positive, and be yourself, im sure your true love is closer than you think!

[Nick9]

Hi Anon *hug*

do you think you have a suspicion why? Is is because you are shy? Because you don't go out? Because you live in remote area? Because you are in closet?

[MisterTinkles]

Not to be callus, but....join the club. There are millions of us.

Ive been alone all my life. And although Ive come to terms with it...I am alone, but I am not lonely.

In my life so far, I have found that most people that do have relationships that last longer than 3 months are unhappy, because they "settle" for whats there. They are too afraid of just having life for themselves, so they have to drag somebody else into what I call a "fake relationship".

If I cant have a decent man in an honest relationship, then it really isnt worth my time. Regardless of whethere Im going to be alone or not. Id rather be alone then have to live with lies, backstabbing, and cheating.

Learn to be happy with yourself. Because if you cant make YOU happy, what makes you think you can make someone else happy?

[Rainbowmum]

Hi Anon


You will find someone ,but they will not come knocking on your door, try volunteering at your local LGBT or join a Gym.

As for friends you will not find better friends than the people on this site.

[Tim]

Not to be callus, but....join the club. There are millions of us.

In my life so far, I have found that most people that do have relationships that last longer than 3 months are unhappy, because they "settle" for whats there. They are too afraid of just having life for themselves, so they have to drag somebody else into what I call a "fake relationship".

Amen! I think people also tend to do what others expect of them. You're supposed to get married and have babies. If you don't do that by a certain age, you're weird and branded so you settle for whatever is in front of you and hopefully isn't too ugly.

Anonymous, everyone has a fear of being lonely I think, it's a universal thing. My suggestion would be to know who you are and be proud of it. Understand that you have something to offer. You can't get far without that.

Try going to a coffee place with a good book and read in public. If someone sits down beside you say hi and nice weather today. If they have a book, ask them how they like it or their coffee smells good, what kind did they get... It's not much, it's a safe, easy start to opening up. Just don't start looking for forever friendships or the love of your life. Just be open and friendly.

If you find a place you like, keep going there. The staff and other regular customers will start getting to know you, which will make you feel good and also open up other customers that you are a likable person and they'll be more willing to chat. If someone is receptive, focus on them, ask them questions about their life and be genuinely interested.

I was a terribly shy person for a large part of my life. I couldn't speak in front of a group without stuttering, I avoided personal connections too. I did all of the above (although I didn't realize it at the time) and I got to the point where I'm not all that shy anymore, sometimes maybe, but I have a lot of friends and I can even speak in front of a group and make them laugh.

[Lycanthropist]

I am so afraid of being alone. I am not a good mixer and I haven't got anyone no best friend. no one to turn to I am have been alone for years and it hurts. I just want to be loved and share my life with some one.

When I saw this post I said to myself, "That's funny. I don't remember writing this."

I share similar circumstances as yourself. The anxiety I feel being around a group of people is overwhelming. Even more so as I am usually by myself. I have exactly 2 friends in this town, and one of them is an over the road truck driver so he's rarely home, and the other has health issues that keeps him down, so to speak. In addition, both of them are straight and in relationships. Therefore, I have zero gay friends that I can call upon to go shopping, antiquing, to the movies or even out to dinner. Does it suck? Yup, sure does.

Now that's not to say I haven't had any relationships in the past 5 years. I think there's been 3 people I have been involved with. The common thing that all of them shared was chronic unemployment, or addiction to living off the government teat.

After the last relationship ended, I decided enough was enough. It's easier to be by myself than to be with someone that looked to me for support financially (which I was not very forthcoming) and emotionally (towards the end I always shut down and shut out).

I am able to go to a restaurant and sit there by myself and enjoy my meal in silence. It was weird at first, but I've done it so often it doesn't bother me any longer. I find activities to do on my own such as going to antique shops, going for a drive, or just watching a movie. I do however, refuse to watch any type of 'gay relationship' movie as that just makes me depressed because it shows me something I don't have. I know it's been said that there is someone out there for everyone, I seriously have my doubts.

I lost the urge to go to the bars sometime last year because all I saw were the same old groups of people hanging out together. It's bad enough trying to meet someone one-on-one, but to approach a group? Forget it!

I do have bouts of depression and hopelessness. When I feel that way, I try to find some activities to redirect my attention. I so get tired of being alone all the time. When I'm not at work, I am by myself 99.9% of my home time. One thing I have to keep reminding myself is that I CANNOT make someone like me. I can be friendly, charming, a lot of fun, and any number of descriptive words, but at the end of the day, for myself, it really doesn't matter. The gay world is a tough world.

I wish I had the words to make it all better for you. I don't. Just know, as another poster said, there are millions of people like you out in the world. I hope you may find happiness somewhere. We all deserve that at the least.

Rob

[Kat]

Why don't you want to be alone? Alone is good and mates are just a hassle to deal with but you have to be okay being alone to do it still it's nice to be able to come and go and do what you want when you want and not have to answer any questions or follow any rules about how you do this or that or when you do what other than your job and your own rules.

I guess if you really want someone you'll find them but just remember that alone isn't bad either.

[Woollyhats]

Aww .

I hope you don't worry too much about it. I'm single, but I am really quite happy. I have the most amazing friends, who I love very much, and I'm really busy quite often anyway. Definitely keep your heart set on your goal of being with someone, but don't let it consume you. We should be able to be happy with ourselves, right?

Good luck good luck good luck. I hope you end up fine!

~