My friend is driving me emotionally insane, help!

[Aeneas]

im a practical and pragmatic person and this sort of behaviour annoys the hell out of me.


don't say a word to him, just ASK him what he wants/expects from you. if he says he just wants to be friends take his word for it and keep his friendship, but direct your love elsewhere. easier said than done but you really should start seeing him as a friend from then onwards.

whatever you do, don't explain yourself or your feelings; or why you are asking the question. ask him the question and keep asking it until you get a proper reply.

[mojoe10k]

im a practical and pragmatic person and this sort of behaviour annoys the hell out of me.


don't say a word to him, just ASK him what he wants/expects from you. if he says he just wants to be friends take his word for it and keep his friendship, but direct your love elsewhere. easier said than done but you really should start seeing him as a friend from then onwards.

whatever you do, don't explain yourself or your feelings; or why you are asking the question. ask him the question and keep asking it until you get a proper reply.

This does make a lot of sense. However, I'm afraid he wouldn't quite understand what I'm asking. I'm not sure if he even realizes what he's putting me through. I'm also not sure if he even realizes what he feels for me. I mean, it's obviously something, but I think he just puts it out of his mind. I guess I don't really want to go in depth with all my feelings for him, but i feel I should at least explain to him, the things he does that have me confused. Maybe that's not the best idea?

I guess one of the reasons why i really believe he feels something more for me was something that happened about a month or so ago. After a couple of days spending a lot of time together, I couldn't take it any more. I needed a little break to clear my mind. I ended up ignoring his calls and texts for a couple days. I actually turned my phone off for 2 days, and then ignored his calls for another 2 days. By the fourth day, he was leaving me some very angry messages. I have a couple good friends, and we sometimes go a week without talking to each other, no big deal. With B, after the first day, he started to get upset. When I finally broke down and started talking to him again, I found out that he had been quite depressed the whole time. not a normal reaction for people who are just friends.

As far as my letter goes, i've written it out, and plan to give it to him next week. I'm going on a road trip next friday and will be on the east coast for 10 days. I figure this is as good a time as any for him to really think about things between me and him. i know he will miss me and be thinking about me anyways. In the letter, I didn't go into much detail about my feelings for him, rather explained that he has me very confused. I stated that it is something we need to talk about, and in person. But not until he is ready and comfortable. I did say, in the letter, that i think he is confused about his own feelings and that time will be the only thing that will help, and that i'm willing to give him all the time in the world. i just want him to understand where I'm coming from, and why I think the things that i do. his "schoolgirl" crush, while making me feel good at times, also has me desperately wanting more. Not in a sexual way, but in an emotional way. Maybe he isn't ready for that sort of thing yet, but I'm willing to help him get to that point. not long ago, I remember myself denying that i was gay, even when fantasizing about a male friend. If i can get him to open up about himself, I know i can help him come to terms with the things going on in his mind.