I've been with my partner now fiancé for almost 3 years. We've been doing well relationship wise and such but there is one small problem I seem to have... see I've caught him canning about a year or so ago and ever since then I've been worried he assures me nothing is going on and I do believe him. My problem is I seem to over stress that he will do something again when I know that deep down he won't.. for expletive he uses another website similar to this and every time he's on it I either start shaking or get physical chest pain. What can I do to help myself from this happening?
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Hm...the two of you could work a deal with one another? He could tone down his 'social activities' and you could try some different methods to calm down. Paranoid thoughts are VERY powerful but we can soften them up and remove them with the right amount of help. You could visit a therapist for it, it might help ^^. Other than that, I would very much recommend that you tell your partner that this ails you the way it does.
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He's aware of what's going on. I don't want to ask him to cut back once using the website because he's very honest about it and forth coming he's not actually doing anything wrong it just seems to stress me out...
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Ah, I see. It's very good that he is honest with you, it really is ^^. Though, do you know the foundation of your worries? Like...how exactly they appear? We know of the symptoms, as you have described them. But what would your thoughts be, when you start worrying? The question of "what if" is really dangerous to our minds and usually brings an otherwise unrealistic situation to life in our heads...
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I would be upset if I found out my BF was camming.
That's not part of our "deal".
If you negotiated a deal that permits things like camming but deep down it really bothers you then you need to try and renegotiate the terms of your relationship--especially before you get married!
I'm not saying camming is right or wrong for your relationship. I'm saying camming is wrong for my relationship. You need to figure out what works for you two.
Good luck.
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bad behavior in a relationship is very difficult to get over and at some point the two just have to break up:
goto some couples training classes; there are some free stuff at the local LGBT center ( thats were we wound up ) and if you have the money try a week end in like San Francisco and attend a 20 hour session. set some goals before going but be open that every boy can learn new tricks.
trust is thought to be an important part of a relationship ( trust, respect and communication ).
I caught my bf cheating recently about October. Maybe I made too graphic for me.
He was at work lying up to the very end till i forwarded him him his real time email conversations to his trick (i hacked his email account).
Later in couples therapy; he said "i make him into looking like a whore" and I said "maybe he should change his life style".
-the trust part is not working. No matter how what they say you think they are not telling the truth so the communication is not working either. So it seems what ever you say is not enough (trust) and you not able to say just exactly what you need.
-In some ways what helps me is the realization that it could have easily been me cheating on him. I dont know if this helps you? just it is helping me, for my self improvement, to see it in text just now
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*Hugs Pellaz* I am sorry, buddy...It's so sad that people find the need to cheat...
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If you consider it cheating talk it out with him , it's always best to try and work thing out.
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