Advice Needed Please!
03-10-2013, 02:14 AM
Hello--I'm new here and looking for some advice, hopefully from someone who has been in a similar situation.
I am in my late 40's and I've been in a relationship for almost a year with a guy who is much younger than me. I'm almost embarassed to say that he is almost 30 years younger than me. A little background about me--I've had relationships in the past with men around my own age--a ten year relationship and another for four. The longer relationship ended a few years ago and honestly I had become comfortable in my quiet little life with my dogs and good friends and work. I have never been big into the dating scene or anything like that and I've always dated guys within a few years of my own age. We met by accident, through mutual acquaintances. However, this young man has really shaken my life up. I've never felt this way about anyone, and although I had thought I had loved my previous partners, I know now what it means when someone says they meet someone and know instantly that person is "the one." We get along great and we are best friends as well. It's like we were meant for each other and I feel corny saying that.
Here's the rub: He wants to get married. I myself have never entertained those thoughts, never thought I would and never even wanted to marry anyone. I may have committment issues. LOL. But I have other issues as well. First, I know what people think when they see a much older man in a relationship with a younger one. I don't really care what people think, but I love this guy so much, I don't want to him to have to deal with that. He is a really good person and is so enthusiastic about our relationship. No, it is not about money. He is about to start college and has his whole life ahead of him. I want him to have the experiences young people should have and I don't want him burdened with an "old guy" in a few years. He says he doesn't care about any of that, just wants to be with me. He has not come out completely to his family (only to one sibling) but is prepared to. His mother is several years younger than me. I'm afraid my own mother might die of shock if I brought home a spouse 30 years younger. He is also from a different ethnicity than I am and although that is not a problem for me, I'm afraid it might be for him. He is wanting to move in with me but I'm holding him off right now until I figure everything out.
I am in my late 40's and I've been in a relationship for almost a year with a guy who is much younger than me. I'm almost embarassed to say that he is almost 30 years younger than me. A little background about me--I've had relationships in the past with men around my own age--a ten year relationship and another for four. The longer relationship ended a few years ago and honestly I had become comfortable in my quiet little life with my dogs and good friends and work. I have never been big into the dating scene or anything like that and I've always dated guys within a few years of my own age. We met by accident, through mutual acquaintances. However, this young man has really shaken my life up. I've never felt this way about anyone, and although I had thought I had loved my previous partners, I know now what it means when someone says they meet someone and know instantly that person is "the one." We get along great and we are best friends as well. It's like we were meant for each other and I feel corny saying that.
Here's the rub: He wants to get married. I myself have never entertained those thoughts, never thought I would and never even wanted to marry anyone. I may have committment issues. LOL. But I have other issues as well. First, I know what people think when they see a much older man in a relationship with a younger one. I don't really care what people think, but I love this guy so much, I don't want to him to have to deal with that. He is a really good person and is so enthusiastic about our relationship. No, it is not about money. He is about to start college and has his whole life ahead of him. I want him to have the experiences young people should have and I don't want him burdened with an "old guy" in a few years. He says he doesn't care about any of that, just wants to be with me. He has not come out completely to his family (only to one sibling) but is prepared to. His mother is several years younger than me. I'm afraid my own mother might die of shock if I brought home a spouse 30 years younger. He is also from a different ethnicity than I am and although that is not a problem for me, I'm afraid it might be for him. He is wanting to move in with me but I'm holding him off right now until I figure everything out.
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