Im torn

[jpazli123]

So, pretty much I saw my good female friends boyfriend on a gay hookup site. There were rumours around years ago that he was gay and I wasn't really surprised about that. They been together like 5 years. What do I do now???

I can't really tell her because then she would wonder why I was on a gay hookup site.

Is there anything I could or even should do?

He's a complete prick as well. Although that's not really relevant.

What do you guys think?

[Vaylen]

She doesn't know you're gay, I take it?

[jpazli123]

No she doesn't, sorry should've said that.

[Vaylen]

Hm, do you think she will accept you, if you come out? If she's a close friend and this is important to you...maybe you should tell her?

[Rawr]

I presume you're under an alias on the hookup site? If so, why not contact the boyfriend and talk to him about it. Maybe try and convince him to tell your friend?

[Gyrix]

Awkward. If I were you, I'd leave it. You never know, he might have made the account a while back and still experimenting with his sexuality, he could be bisexual and happy with his current relationship.. Even if it could lead to your friend being upset and feel ridiculed, it's not your place to tell his secret. At some point it will come to light and there it will be sorted out - but if you did anything right now it could compromise your friendship with this girl as she'd probably blame you for screwing things up even though you were only trying to help. Also, consider the guy's feelings.. Imagine somebody just outed you like that. It's not right.

[Aeneas]

aaah drama.

what fun!


ok my friend this is what you will do:


you will gather information that corroborates your suspicion that he is either cheating or gay, and once you are 100% sure, you will present that information to her anonymously.




to do this you will first create a new fake email address (hotmail, gmail etc).

you will then use said email to create a fake account on that dating website. upload a couple of photos from people on the internet you might think are attractive. don't make it too obvious though. if you can unlock them only to people you select, the better.

you will then correspond with him. ask him what his name is, what he is looking for and so forth. act like you would with anyone else.

finally, you will take screenshots of every incriminating piece of information and you will use your newly created email to send it to your friend.

[Gyrix]

Or that ^ ^ xDDD That's ingenious bahaha

[jpazli123]

Well he is Listed on the site as Bi

He has photos of himself up and everything. I took a screenshot.

If it was a new relationship I would just leave it but they are talking about living together and buying a house.

She doesn't strike me as someone who would be OK with an open relationship

I realise that I wouldn't want to be outed but I have never been homophobic (like him) and I've never dated a girl (according to Andrew Rannells I would be a gold star gay).

I just wish now I had never seen it. Coming out to her is not really an option as I want to tell my family myself and she is a tremendous gossip.

[Aeneas]

still... you need to be sure that that is *his* profile and what he is really after.


for two reasons you need to correspond with him:

1. he could deny he made that profile. he could claim anyone who had access to his facebook or whatever uploaded those pics.

2. you are about to create some serious damage here. if he is not *out* believe me your friend will make sure the whole of new zealand knows about him before the hour is up.


so.... be 100% sure, and consider any possible defense he might make. the more information you have, the more difficult it will be for him to elaborate a lie.