Im torn

[unkown21]

Think about it from her standpoint. You, or me or anyone else on here would want to know if your loved one was on a hookup site. I agree, if she is a good friend, she won't abandon you, and better yet, would thank you for being honest with her and pointing this out to her. I think she needs to know.

[pellaz]

what if you got the profile confused? just what if.

-you said he's a bitch; dont let your opinions get into this but be cautious; dont out your self to the bf.
-is your gf and the boy a couple or just dating? Has their status recently changed and you dont know it?

i am just curious, how can you have a gf w/o her not knowing your gay? How good a friend is she? If a casual acquaintance i would say nothing. If a very very good true friend i would out your self and say her bf is got the profile. anything less than this I would look the other way and let things go their own way.

[Rainbowmum]

Maybe the profile is old you never know these things, yes she has the right to know, if he is actually cheating on her , but that should come from him.

Right now you are in an awkward position , if you out him you also out yourself.

Just remember the bearer of bad news sometimes gets shot , think this one through very carefully.

[jpazli123]

It is a very difficult situation

I have been good friends with her for about 8 years and she has been in a serious relationship with him for almost 5.

The site says that his profile was created on the 12th of February so this must be a recent thing. I have no idea if he has actually cheated but the intention is there. If I had a Boyfriend I would want to know whether he was being unfaithful and to me him putting up the profile so blatantly with pictures and everything is being unfaithful.

I don't want to say anything and then she tells me I'm being vindictive or something because she knows that I really dislike him. And what he is allegedly doing now is not helping what I think of him.

[Aeneas]

you know what you have to do.


ive given you all the instructions so that she may have a full picture of what is going on without her ever knowing it came from you.


now you have to follow your conscience.

i think she has to know. this WILL blow up eventually; and probably by the time she has a house and a dog with him. and what are you going to think then? *oh i knew all along but it wasn't my place to do anything*. that is NOT what friends do.


now create that profile, contact him and get as much information as you can that will prove its him. get an email from him, a phone number whatever. sitting around is not an option if you consider yourself her friend.

[jimbopdxus]

This is easy! DO NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Are you old enough to remember Sgt. Schultz on Hogans Hero's? "I SEE NOTHING. I KNOW NOTHING!"
This is not your battle. You have enough of your own battles to fight! Just be there when the shit hits the fan... Let her come to you! Do not let her even suspect you know anything!! (voice of experience here!)
And you have my deepest sympathy!

[Aeneas]

This is easy! DO NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Are you old enough to remember Sgt. Schultz on Hogans Hero's? "I SEE NOTHING. I KNOW NOTHING!"
This is not your battle. You have enough of your own battles to fight! Just be there when the shit hits the fan... Let her come to you! Do not let her even suspect you know anything!! (voice of experience here!)
And you have my deepest sympathy!

indeed... and this is exactly why we have friends - so they each fight their own battle.


i know what you are trying to say... that somehow he will be implicated in this whole mess... but this is the internet, he can resolve this anonymously.


but as i say. some of us have a conscious. if you can sleep at night knowing your friend is dating a bisexual guy who spends his evening chatting and who knows what else in a gay dating site then by all means, do nothing.

[James]

I see both sides of this issue, make a fake acct and see if you can communicate with him to see if he truly is looking on that site before you make any decisions, Jim

[Pix]

Generally speaking, most women would consider it a betrayal of friendship if she found out you knew and let him keep playing her for a fool because friends are supposed to look out for each other (as opposed to "your problems are not my problems, so things like that are your lookout") as well as prevent her from investing more time into a doomed relationship among other troubles being unfaithful can bring. Though in your case an anonymous tip can serve as well (though if she ever does find out about your orientation then she might deduce you were her tipster and I don't know how she'd feel about you not trusting yourself enough to let her know you were gay in the first place).

I like the idea of testing and/or entrapping him as that removes doubt and/or his ability to lie about it, but at the same time just pointing it out to her and letting her follow up on it seems fair as well.

That said, a few women go berserk on anyone who says anything bad about their guy (even while he's in jail for knocking out a couple of her teeth), but hopefully you already know if she's that way or not (if she IS that way then I say let her remain in blissful ignorance).

[megumidesu]

i think you should tell her ...