What do I do?

[spes17]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years now, and have lived together for just over a year. He treats me like a prince, and for a while I had no doubts that he was 'the one.' But things have changed, and I don't know how to feel anymore.

We have always had a lot of personality differences between us. He is very reserved and conservative about most things, whereas I'm very outgoing and have a lot of interests. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't really enjoy the things I like, and that he does things just to make me happy. It's just strained sometimes.

On top of that, we have issues with affection. He does not really demonstrate affection in the way I need him to. I am a very physical, sexual person and he just isn't. Normally that's not too much of a problem, but it does get to be from time to time.

We just moved to a new apartment, and there was a lot of stress involved with that. We have been fighting a lot, and I have been wondering whether or not this is something we should continue to pursue. On top of all of that, one of my good friends (who also happens to be a co-worker) told me he has feelings for me a few days ago. He is gorgeous, and he and I have so much in common. Part of me just wants to run straight into his arms and forget about all of this. I have been having an absolute meltdown over it.

I really love my boyfriend. He is a wonderful person. He's very sweet, and any guy would be damn luck to have him. All that is to say that I just don't understand what it is that's making me unhappy. On the one hand, I don't want to compromise in finding what I want in a relationship. On the other hand, I'm old enough to know the realities of gay dating. The guy I'm with now is a rarity.

What would you do in my situation? Any advice is welcome

[pellaz]

first off welcome to gay speak

it takes two to argue, if one starts up just leave the room

the other 97%, the straights have nothing or very little in common in a relationship yet they can sorta make it work.

there are a LOT of things i do to make the partner unit happy, things i would not normally do. Oh no, a new experience for me.

the bad:
in all you said i hear nothing what your current partner does for you, what does he bring to the table for you? this may be an important issue?

[partisan]

When i began reading that it reminded me of a relationship i was in, when we met one time it shoulda been obvious to me, he met me off the coach, in his town, it was getting late and there was some sorta fate and procession going on, a carnival of sorts,and it was really colouful and just great, as we were making our way through all i wanted with every part of my being was to stop and enjoy the spectacle, but he had my hand rushing me through the crowd to get to his care, he had hated the whole thing, when i think about it ending i should have known from that point, i think it can bring more pain to pretend that something is working when it isnt, though the difficult and scary thing is change

[HomeagainNYC]

Often when we are unhappy and don't know why, it's because we perceive that something is missing in our lives.

You note that you started out strong in your happiness/feelings for this man, but it seems to be slipping away - enough so as to entertain the idea put forth by your co-worker.

It appears - if you are to have clarity - that you are going to have to take a hard look and see if the relationship, as it stands, is enough to support the basic differences, your are noticing.

On the flip side you also have to examine if the differences are growing into something larger that you cannot live with.

I may be wrong but I get the feeling you have been dealing with this issue without sharing it with your partner. Now would be the time.

[Aeneas]

first off welcome to gay speak

it takes two to argue, if one starts up just leave the room

not the best advice if you intend to keep things civil with your BF. like William Arthur Ward used to say: "Flatter me, and i may not believe you. Criticise me, and i may not like you. ignore me, and i may not forgive you."


2 OP:


WHAT does your BF thinks about your situation. why havent you posted what HE feels??


you need to ASK him. sit down with him and ask "are you happy with me?"



that little question will open the pot to understand what is going through his mind and he will want to know what YOU are feeling, let alone why you are asking this question.


i think you need to have this conversation before you make any decision about your horny heartthrob at the office.

[MisterTinkles]

You are expecting WAY to much from this guy.

He may be a "catch", but you have to realize, that even the "perfect" guy has his own personality.

If you want to be running into some other guys arms right now, then I would say its already over.

In my opinion, you have been expecting the guy you are with now to convert to YOUR way of life, while ignoring how he lives his.

If you dont compromise, your relationship will fail....each and every time. No matter what kind of relationship it is, or who its with.

Some people can live together having separate personality types, some cannot. From what I get from your post, you just refuse to. And this way of thinking will be your downfall each and every time. Even with someone you think has more in common with you than this guy.

If you cant work things out, if you cant talk to each other about everything, if you cant compromise to develop one life together, then you are doomed. You might as well just stick to dating and forget relationships.

[TomStatic]

You should really be saying this to your boyfriend , talking about stuff helps anything, i was similar sort of to u , after that 2 year mark your mind can wander abit, but you just have to snap out of it into what actually makes u happiest, been with them or living your life a different way , Dont know if this even will help but hopefully it makes some sense to you