I must be very sick in the head. I apologize.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

So I'm looking through ads (dating/hopefully finding a relationship) and it seems like 90% of the guys around my age (44-55) are all looking for younger.

They are all looking for 20-35 year olds (a few wanted barely legal too )

Is there something wrong with me wanting to be with a fella around my age? Am I the sick one here?

I have an ad on the OK cupid site and I have had at least six 18-22 year old 'men' contact me and want to hook up.... I have absolutely no interest in them.

Is there something wrong with me?

[dvdbwn]

I've always looked to my own age for dating. However, I ended up with a man 12 years older. It was something I had to get over because in my head my relationship had to be as normal as possible and an age difference didn't fall into that. I say focus less on age and more on other issues of compatibility.

[PHOSPHORUS]

Ofcourse U R normal. U have nothing to be ashamed of. If U R having a hard time finding a partner your age, why not accept a younger partner and then just wait, I garatee he will grow older. So U C, this kind of problem can solve itself in time . . .

[MisterTinkles]

So I'm looking through ads (dating/hopefully finding a relationship) and it seems like 90% of the guys around my age (44-55) are all looking for younger.

They are all looking for 20-35 year olds (a few wanted barely legal too )

Is there something wrong with me wanting to be with a fella around my age? Am I the sick one here?

I have an ad on the OK cupid site and I have had at least six 18-22 year old 'men' contact me and want to hook up.... I have absolutely no interest in them.

Is there something wrong with me?

No.


THEY are the ones who have something wrong with THEM!!!
This subject is part of my "BitchFest For Life".


On the other hand, I cant blame all older guys for liking younger.
Theres a couple of guys out there like me....who like people for their personalities, not their ages, looks, bank account, car model, or dick size. And sometimes we end up with younger guys, even though we arent looking for them.

Sometimes you just hit it off with someone younger and it just goes from there. You werent looking, but thats the way things ended up.

But thats only a VERY SMALL percentage. Most of them out there ARE dirty old men, and live up to that title.

On the other hand, theres lots of young-uns out there looking for a "daddy".
This also has a flipside.
Some of them are looking to get away from vile parents, abuse, or living out in the boonies where there is no support or someone to talk to. Others are looking for an actual father figure....an older man to help them figure out thier life on this planet, a big brother type. Some, like me when I was younger, just prefer older men because they seem more mature than anyone our age. And then there are those who want a "Sugar Daddy"....they are pretty much for sale - they will do what they have to, in order for someone ELSE to pay thier bills and put a roof over thier head.

[Lalo]

I have been with men much younger, much older and a few in between. The commonalities rarely have to do with age, but sometimes the differences have a lot to do with it. I say try them all, if you click. Even the younger guys might have something to offer that is completely unexpected. :biggrin:

[MisterTinkles]

I will say this........

Younger guys have more gumption to get out and go to different places and try different things than an older guy would do.

I like to go to the amusement park, even at my age....but finding ANYONE "my age" who still likes amusement parks is like trying to unite North and South Korea. It aint happening.
Young guys not only prefer amusement parks, they can hang there all day long. And for the prices they charge at those places, Im staying all day long too.

I was seeing one really yummie man one time, and he was a nice person, and always paid for everything....but OMG, he was more dull than anyone Ive ever met. We always ate in. He never went anywhere besides work, the store, and the laundrymat. He never wanted to go do anything or go any other place.....
Im sorry, I can deal with a lot, but that much boredom is more than I can deal with.

Im no "party till you drop" person, but I like to go do things. And younger guys can deal with that more than older ones can.

[Pix]

I can't help but imagine that most aren't looking for a relationship, they're looking for a one night stand (maybe a fling at most). Even if they did they'd probably end up trading in for a younger model in the future. Of course age differences can work really well sometimes for a loving relationship (as opposed to a convenient sex toy that can be easily manipulated), but when someone is SPECIFICALLY LOOKING for someone much younger then that's a red flag.

In a way it comes with male upbringing, "as the twig is bent..." Boys (and young men in the military and college, etc) are encouraged to "be a man" and that means not being too sensitive and not being "whipped" by a girl (easily translatable to "guy") and mixed with the celebration of sexual expression it encourages them to be jerks (and worse), and to enjoy labels as "stud" and "player," and if they care too much about a relationship (other than being "respected" and being in control) then they cross into "Mr. sensitivity," are "whipped" (guys even to their friends when he shows concern for her feelings), and sometimes (especially if violating the Boy Code in other ways like not caring about sports) seen as "effeminate." In addition, the heroes in movies guys like to watch (such as James Bond) always ends up with a hot girl (typically younger, but always stunning) but typically shies away from actual love & commitment other than how she wants him and how he pleases her, and that encourages a sense of entitlement for someone "hot" while also telling him he doesn't have to be equally hot himself, just "in control" (which matches the Boy Code).

(In the hopes of preventing offense I'll add that I know how females are raised is just as messed up in its own way.)

In short they're trained to both pursue sex while not care about relationships. Of course many do care (one reason why some jerks get tolerated is because they show a secret side to those they date, though this might just be a head game in which he uses to play him or her of course), and many outgrow the Boy Code, but many don't, and when they run through as many people as they can and get a rep then they go to the dating sites looking for more booty from people who don't know them yet, and yes they look for eye candy who are preferably young so he's more likely to be hot and easily controlled (or at least appear so to his friends) and it's apparently a problem for both straight women and gay men using dating sites trying to find a real relationship. They're players, and as players they'll misrepresent themselves and play head games to get what he wants and careless of how it hurts you.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

IDK - I want someone who remembers the 1980's because they lived it, and feathered hair, and guys wearing mullets and the smooth tunes of my time. I want a guy who recalls a world without MTV, or that Micheal Jackson really was a black man and was turning white with his music Video Thriller.

I want a guy who can sit there on the couch next to me and see some star and say with me 'Damn she's gotten old - oh - Damn I'm (we're) old...' Or talk about the obvious face lifts and recall the time when that 'gal' was young and smooth of skin about a dozen face lifts ago.

I want to wake up next to a guy who is as geriatric as me. I want us both to groan in unison as we climb into bed, I want to count the grey hairs on his head (or the ones falling out) as he counts the white ones on my head and laugh together over this whole 'Gee where did the last decade go, am I really that old?' thing.

I want a guy who can listen to the origin 'Like a Virgin' and recall where he was when it came out on the radio as a brand spanking new song in 1985. For the record I was 19 years old in that year. Or recalls how Madonna playing Evita was just plain wrong (She was such a bad girl back in the day).

I want a guy who remembers Reagan was not all that and a bag of chips, that Reagan was a dick and actually deserved to be shot (Where were you the day Reagan was shot?).

Kids now days are listening to music that was from my time, sure they have pumped it up and added more beat and remixed it, but it was my music and I want to be with a guy who recalls when it was our music and great just the way it was - in the good old days.

I don't want to be with a kid, some guy who was in diapers back when I was in my late teens. I want a guy who has a common frame of reference and understands why I am the way I am politically and socially due to what we lived through in those formative years.

I was an adult when 9-11-01 took place, I have guys wanting to 'date' who were in middle school/Junior high thus didn't relate to the events of that day in the same way I did. They will never recall a world where TSA didn't strip search people, where non-flying 'visitors' could meet travelers at gates, etc.

Its like that for a lot of things - that common frame of reference, of being in the same point in one's life when world events changed the world.

Frankly, I can't see how two people with 20+ years age difference can see eye to eye, or have anything to talk about when it comes to life lessons and where 'I' have been (whoever or wherever "I" is/was).

All of my adult life I have only had a simple request. I want one guy to grow old and grey with... Here I am 6 guys later and I'm still wanting that.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I will say this........

Younger guys have more gumption to get out and go to different places and try different things than an older guy would do.

I like to go to the amusement park, even at my age....but finding ANYONE "my age" who still likes amusement parks is like trying to unite North and South Korea. It aint happening.
Young guys not only prefer amusement parks, they can hang there all day long. And for the prices they charge at those places, Im staying all day long too.

I was seeing one really yummie man one time, and he was a nice person, and always paid for everything....but OMG, he was more dull than anyone Ive ever met. We always ate in. He never went anywhere besides work, the store, and the laundrymat. He never wanted to go do anything or go any other place.....
Im sorry, I can deal with a lot, but that much boredom is more than I can deal with.

Im no "party till you drop" person, but I like to go do things. And younger guys can deal with that more than older ones can.

Oh I so want to go to Disney land or Disney world before I die... Its on the bucket list... I love roller coasters and other such rides...

[Chase]

So to clarify I'm too young for you?