Just want opinion about a guy situation

[codyj1ma]

So I've been talking to this guy for about 2 months and we've hung out a few times and slept together (sex and stayed the night) at my place and his. Between all this I had doubts cause he forgets to text me back a lot and swears it's not just me he's like tht with everyone. I also couldn't tell where he wanted it to go despite saying he was ready for something a little more when we first started talking. There are some other things too but it's been like two months so I'm going to skip ahead to last week.

I was going home and hadn't heard from him in almost a week after I had texted him earlier that week and with no reply. That friday I texted him saying "I know you said you're bad at texting but damn! Just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out sometime next week." He replied a few hours later "Hey sorry, I'm at work. Text you after " Well he never did. I didn't text him at all that weekend or that week and just figured he wasn't interested. Then the middle of the week he commented on one of my facebook statues so I'm like ???

Now this past weekend I was telling my friend I'm done getting mixed signals and was just gonna ask him what's up and if he doesn't reply I'm done. I was honestly expecting him to say something like I'm seeing another guy (happened before) or he just wanted the sex or something. So Monday I texted him "Good Morning" and he didn't text back so that night I said "Hey I was gonna call you but I can't now so I just wanted to ask if you were still interested in getting to know me cause it doesn't really feel like it and I don't want to feel like I'm being played or like I'm bothering you when I text you." He text back saying "Hey. Can I text you tomorrow? I'm a little drunk." So I said sure.

Now yesterday I figured he wouldn't text me until later in the day cause of classes and stuff. Sure enough a little bit after the time I know he gets done he texted me, made some small talk and then said "But yeah about your text last night. I don't think I am to the point where I'm ready for a man relationship. I know I don't like girls, but I am not ready for the commitment or anything that goes with a relationship right now either. I think you are cool and good looking. You are my type, but i dk, I guess I'm just not ready. And since we are not in a steady thing or anything that's why I don't text as much (because I don't want to lead you on to believe I want something serious right now.) I can tell you that you are the only person I have slept with since attending this college. I hope that does tell you something. I know this may not be what you wanted to hear, but I like you, just not ready for anything more. But please don't ever think you are bothering me or anything. That is nothing close to the case."

I replied back saying I understand and wasn't looking to jump into a relationship but to get to know someone on a different level and if it happens it happens and that I like him too I just couldn't tell if it was done or what and that I am glad he was honest with me. He said things like I'll always be honest with you and we can def hang out and talk cause I do like you.

To make this not too much longer basically we are still "seeing each other" just not seriously which I'm fine with and I didn't think I would be. I think if we do eventually become a couple this approach might be a benefit for us. However I know that there is a chance that he may meet someone else and I'm fine with that too. This guy is genuinely one of the nicest guys I've meet in a long time and I don't think he's playing me. If nothing but a great friendship comes from it I'd be happy. I'm also not gonna stop talking to and seeing other guys cause I don't think that's fair to me given the situation. We did agree that outside of hang out and stuff we'd still stay the night with each other.

I can honestly say I'm happy with how it turned out. I mean we both are still in the coming out phase and seniors in college (both going an extra year) and with him starting his own business already and I'm doing things this summer I do think right now is a hectic time for both of us. I'm just happy to know he cares about me and he knows I care about him and it's not just empty words. (Like with me being the only he's slept with in a long time..he said something like that one of the nights we slept together and I just blew it off as him being a player..I don't get that vibe from him but I was readying into some of his actions based on my past experience with shitty guys. Also I did meet him on a dating site and what attracted me to his profile was he said on there he loves Jesus which to me shows something.)
He even texted me late last night hours after we had that conversation saying "U still awake baby boy?" he's called me that a few times and I think it's cute. we both couldn't sleep so just texted some.

Anyway, I have my mind made up about this and I just wanted to see other peoples opinions or how they would handle it. Sorry this is so long but I actually meant to post for opinions a few weeks ago when I was getting mixed signals. I think relationship or just friends, he's gonna be someone in my life for a long time.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

"But yeah about your text last night. I don't think I am to the point where I'm ready for a man relationship. I know I don't like girls, but I am not ready for the commitment or anything that goes with a relationship right now either. I think you are cool and good looking. You are my type, but i dk, I guess I'm just not ready. And since we are not in a steady thing or anything that's why I don't text as much (because I don't want to lead you on to believe I want something serious right now.) I can tell you that you are the only person I have slept with since attending this college. I hope that does tell you something. I know this may not be what you wanted to hear, but I like you, just not ready for anything more. But please don't ever think you are bothering me or anything. That is nothing close to the case."

Well there it is. He is not ready for a relationship.

Back off from the relationship aspect and try to be 'just friends'.

[pellaz]

... I don't think I am to the point where I'm ready for a man relationship. I know I don't like girls, but ...

he is in the closet still (to himself). may be other things too like he is super busy at school.

[TomStatic]

As long as u are happy with not been serious with him then thats not a problem at all, i use to be like that guy bad at texting back but yeah just dont get your hopes up on anything as if it was ment to be serious he would have asked or it just would have happened randomly, just enjoy been free and not tied down and a relationship will come whenever it wants to live it up

[codyj1ma]

He's recently out where we go to school but not to family. I think he just isn't ready because of school and summer coming up and he's starting a business (like legit). I do have it in the back of my mind that maybe he wants to experience the gay community like hooking up and stuff and I can't be selfish. Like I said, I'm okay with how things are now because he's a great guy. I do have a small voice in the back of my mind saying what if when the time comes he gets in a relationship with someone else. I know I can't control that, and since I'm gonna "talk" to other guys too I shouldn't really be worried about it. I think just cause it's fresh is why I'm feeling so many different things but I'll be fine.

[Aeneas]

i think both his actions and his words are very clear : he wants space and not someone breathing down his throat - which is what many people perceive a relationship does.


if you can handle that, play along. if not, move on.

keep in mind that playing along might jeopardise you chances of ever having a relationship with this guy when and if he is ready. some people want to start with a "clean slate" when they decide they are ready for a new/serious relationship, and you two will have a history.

[dfiant]

I don't think the foolish person is the one that is giving out the mixed signals in a situation like this, I think the foolish one is the one that sticks around and holds onto hope without hope amidst all the mixed signals.

This one is not for you and you need to move on or risk not meeting someone more suited for you