Dating website etiquette?

[ThatRobGuy]

Usually, if someone messaged me and they weren't totally pervy, creepy, or otherwise appalling, and I had no romantic interest, I would let them know that I'd be happy to chat and potentially be friends, but that's as far as it would go.

Look, we all have our attractions and desires and there's no reason to feel bad about not being attracted to anyone and everyone. Just be polite but straightforward and it'll be fine. As LateBloomer said, they will either ignore you, message you back and thank you for responding, or become a little belligerent because they are hurt over being rejected. But they're the ones who messaged you, right?

Good luck!

[Sport77]

What is it you are looking for? Just a lover with no desire for 'just friends'?

Or are you open to meeting new people to build potential friendships as well as potential mates?

As for distance, some guys may be willing to relocate. You may not, but they may thus the 4 hour drive or whatever may not be that big of a deal in the long run.

BTW, dogs and cats can get along and even come to love each other. I have had a mixed household and the cats have come to tolerate the dogs and eventually it was finding cats and dogs laying against each other on the couch.

Dogs and litter boxes don't mix well though ... Cats appear to produce a lot of dog treats....

Drinker/non-drinker - just because he doesn't touch a drop doesn't mean he will forbid you your wine/beer - he just won't drink.

Also, you can never really know about the chemistry thing based on pixels (images) and text... Humans evolved to have a full sensory exchange (touch, sight, smell, etc) to base chemistry on. For millions of years our species relied on face to face meetings, thus have a highly adapted communication system that includes tone of voice, body language, minute changes in facial expression - things that are definitely not conveyed via text.

Also: A lot of guys who read as idiots in text can be most intelligent and incredible in person, a lot of guys who come off as educated in text can be jack-asses and idiots in person. There are other things that are not conveyed via text that would be present in person/face to face.

Try to keep your list of 'absolutely nots' to a minimum. Like the dog and cats thing... Or the distance thing - I would hate for you to pass over a very nice fellow that could have been the relationship for the rest of your life because he lives 4.5 hours away and he was completely ready to relocate for Mr. Right (you).

You may not find a lover in these guys, but you may make a good solid friend.

All good words of wisdom. I'm at the point in my life where I'm tired of being alone, and now that I've accepted my sexuality, have decided that I really wish to have that special other guy in my life.

I have quite a few friends, but you're right in that one can always use a few more. Lord knows I could use a few more gay friends too. Right now I've got only five tangible but many online Here , but it's a start.mile:

I grew up with mostly cats but also had 14 years of my youth with a collie/shepherd mix and a grey tabby cat (raised together from pup & kitten) so I know it's possible, though not probable as the pets get older. Also have seen plenty of those cat produced dog treats get swallowed (YUCK)

As for the drinking, I'm not a heavy drinker at all, and it's not a necessity that my partner drink. It just seems like something would be laking in the relationship. Kind of strange or weird for example to find myself saying over dinner "This wine is stunning, and paired great with the Lamb chops,etc" and not be able to get any feedback.

I also completely agree that being in person is mandatory for exploring any potential relationships, so it's highly likely, that given my eagerness to find somebody interesting, that I'm being overly critical in my quest. I do know that I'm definitely trying to weed out the hookup types who are simply interested in sex. I guess I'm one of those old fashioned types that's just looking for mr right.

As for me replying politely to let some of my responders know that I'm not interested in them. I've personally thanked them and wished them the best of luck in finding that special somebody that they're looking for. So far I've had two responses thanking me for replying to their inquiry and they wished me luck as well.

Thanks to everybody here at GS.
I can't express just how much this forum means to me and how much I appreciate you all!

[Sylph]

My Momma told me one time, she said; "Keep your arms wide open, but your legs firmly closed" and I took that to mean that, don't turn people away, because at the end of the day you may end up with a new bff, but don't feel like you have to wrap your legs around them as well, cause then you might end up with an std/sti and question as to why you made such a decision.

My mommy is very open with me...

But seriously. It's like what happened with me recently, and I tend to draw on my experiences a lot. This guy asked me out and pretty much said he wants my cupcakes, and then told me he used to cut himself and showed me the scars, in addition to his interesting habit of burning cigarettes out on his arms as well.

and I was like... well damn. Finally a guy asks me out (after like a billion years! ><) and he is like at the extreme north of the north pole and I'm in the complete opposite direction. I will always say and have always said; My body is a temple and I would never desecrate it and though I don't mind like a boyfriend having tattoos or something, but not something as extreme as that. So I politely told him, "oh no gurl, these cupcakes are not on the shelf, please try someone else's treats".

But we still have fun, although I'd never be completely alone with him for very long, but I kept my arms open to him, albeit not as wide open as in the beginning, and kept my legs firmly wrapped around each other like a pretzel, cause had he sampled these mocha cappuccino cupcakes, who knows how it would have turned out... and something tells me not for the better.

So all that to say this; be like the Kay commerical, "Keep your heart open and love will find it's way in." "Every Kiss begins with Kay" , and if someone doesn't strike your fancy, then you can always make a new friend or just move on.

Life is too short to live for regrets and what if's. It's okay to think about them, but don't dwell to long on'em.