hmmm... with all due respect, not sure if adapting to technology involves the evolution of the human species to no longer have vocal cords and instead to have giant thumbs so we can just text each other for communication... having dozens of friends on Facebook who you've never even actually met in person... I still think real conversation face to face is more personal than texting, an in person friendship is more real than a Facebook one, but, guess I am just from a different generation.
There are other reasons the relationship is dead, this is just a nail in the coffin and I'm just kinda sad about it. Thank ya'll for listening.
This is a major annoyance to me (same age as Rover). My bf is more wired in than I am. I cut him some slack since he is opening a new business soon and needs to communicate with contractors and suppliers on deadlines.
What really gets me is when I'm in the middle of saying something, he gets interrupted by a text or call, then when he's done he starts on a new topic instead of saying, "I'm sorry, where were we?" AARRGGH!
It also bothers me when people expect me to drop everything I'm doing to respond immediately to their text. When I'm eating a meal, talking with people in person, working with customers, driving, etc., I ignore my cell phone. No need to feel offended if it takes me some time to get back to you. On the rare occasions when I take a call when I'm with someone, I at least say "excuse me" and step away to take the call. Call me old fashioned (just don't call me old).
Rover, if your bf didn't take the hint when you walked out on him in your own apartment or cut the power, he has a problem. I'm hoping those events prompted a conversation about the issue, at least.
Unfortunately, good manners in general were on the decline before cell phones became common. Smart phones just pushed them over the final cliff.
Think of good manners as social lube, and as it's been pointed out often here -- it's best to use twice as much lube as you think you need.
It prompted me to walk out my own place, man... I'm pretty non-confrontational.
Our last words to each other were on his part, "I'll see you soon" and my reply with an icy stare, "No, actually, you won't." Ba dump bump, and I walked out and closed his car door calmly.
i think it depends on the type of hang out. if it's a romantic dinner, or the like, it is inappropriate. if you're just hanging out and chillin', i don't think it's a big deal. i text my best friend a lot. she lives 5 hours away and it's how we stay connected. my partner often participates in the conversations i have with her, so instead of it being a rude gesture it's more like she digitally hangin' with us.
I'm 30 and I don't like texting for anything other than saying, "I'm ok" or "meeting got out late, now stuck in traffic" (better not be driving when they text that, too) or what a post-it would get used for (like say texting someone shopping to, "Don't forget milk"). I prefer face to face because texting is so impersonal, distracting, and it's easy to misunderstand and/or lie without voice, face, or body language.
I've seen people who have to be in constant contact that way to "prove" they're thinking of them (even though for all I know they could actually be cheating, possibly even making out, as they text, "You're the only one"). It's like an umbilical cord to me, there's no way I could put up with it, it would smack of insecurity to me and a need to get their own life so they stay interesting (sharing life is one thing, being someone's constant shadow, even remotely, is quite another) rather than smother me. It's like songs on the radio, I might love it but if the station plays it to death I get to hate it, and if someone is constantly clinging to me (and that would include getting upset that I'm not constantly texting them back) then attraction would quickly turn to antipathy. I know some people love that obsession with each other, and more power to them, but I'm not the person for them, nor are they for me.
My BFF (31) is big on the texts (though she understands and respects how I feel about it, and normally I don't say anything when she texts while we're talking as I know she's still keeping up), but I did get angry when she drove me to the recycling plant and then as we left her boyfriend texted her to ask why she was leaving (some ap made it so he could track her, or more accurately track her phone) and she started texting back while driving. I asked her what she was doing with a, "Can't it wait!?" and she said he had tantrums if he was ignored. I then said, "Give it to me, I'LL answer him." She refused as she could tell by my voice that I was going to reply with something like, "You know she's driving so why are you asking such a stupid question anyone with a lick of sense would already know, could certainly wait to ask when she's not behind the wheel to ask even if you can't figure it out, or are you hoping she'll get in an accident answering your stupid question and constant need for attention?" But I'm glad to say that she finally did break up with him not long after for being such a control freak.
dvdbwn, I would probably be cool with that to an extent... but I guess I would feel a bit like there were 3 people in the room instead of 2. don't want just 2 all the time, I have friends too, but our time together is extremely limited due to our schedules...
for one minute, it would be cool for it to just be me and the bf. my own situation is more like, we wake up with each other, he has a joke waiting from his friend, I offer to walk up and get him a cup of coffee... and he doesn't even hear me man, he's talking to his buddy, and they have their own thing going on, oblivious to me. it hurts. but not any more. He lives like 45 minutes away from me. Why would he drive all the way out to spend time with me when he's just going to do what he could do at home, namely, text and play with his Iphone? He can do that at home. Why is his buddy sending him all these banal texts when he knows B is spending the one night a week he and I have together.
I don't participate in his conversations at all, so it is kind of a different dynamic.
My BF and I have actually had a couple arguments about his texting/cell phone use.
I'll just cut straight to the conclusion. I lost.
It was towards the end of our last argument about the damn phone when I realized that I could WIN the argument but LOSE the relationship. And that was simply a choice I didn't want to make. I decided that I VALUED the relationship MORE than I hated the cell phone.
See what I'm saying? I was RIGHT. His cell phone use can be too much and I would be totally justified in saying to hell with all this, but guess what? I chose to date HIM for certain reasons. And I get the WHOLE PERSON, not just the parts I like.
That's the reality of the situation. And here's one more fact. Now that he knows how much I dislike his texting he tries to avoid doing it in front of me.
I've quite literally driven it underground.
And now when he's in the bathroom for a very long time I have to wonder who he's texting and why is it so damned important. And it looks very suspicious. But I have nobody else to blame but myself. I pitched a fit, he fought back and now I bite my tongue while he's texting on the throne.
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Pisces
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