What is your relationship with your parents like?

[bluefox4000]

Ok i geuss.....Don't have much in common with Dad. Nice man, if a little short tempered. Mom i get a long with too. Nothing exciting happening here, lol

Mick

[LateBloomer]

My short answer is, when I was younger I had a lot of resentment towards my father. He never did anything very wrong, but we had a hard time relating to each other.

Eventually (after college) I just accepted that I needed to FORGIVE him for whatever I was angry about.

I think, by and large, boys grow up thinking their fathers are SUPERMEN and they have all the right answers and indeed they are our first role models. But then, as we get older, we realize they're just normal guys, average men, and we're DISAPPOINTED, and maybe a little angry too.

I just finally came to accept that my father (and mother) were average people doing the very best they could but sometimes they made mistakes.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, it's MY LIFE and if I want to be happy I NEED TO GET OVER IT.

Every day is another chance to do the right thing. It's OUR CHOICE.

[Spades]

My relationship with my parents... good! They are strict but fair; besides for my rebellious teenage years we have not had many problems. They love me and I love them, and I thank God for them! They accepted me being gay (yes, it upset my mother at first but she came around) and they support me 100% with my disability, even now when I am going through some troubles. It makes me want to be a better person so I don't disappoint them

[LateBloomer]

Sounds tough Nick.

Do you know the old American comedian George Burns? I think he said his idea of happiness is a close loving family---in a town far FAR away!



Well, there's still the telephone conversations you have to deal with.

How about just reducing the frequency of your conversations if they aggravate you so much? You know, call them on YOUR TERMS, when you feel like it. And if the conversation turns negative you stay calm and in control and politely finish the call. Tell them you'll call later when you feel like it.

I hope you find some peace from this aggravation.

[Rosie]

My father was wonderful. I remember helping him in the garden, sewing with him, going camping, to amusement parks and fairs, fishing with him, and having picnics at our local state park on a regular basis. I don't remember him ever yelling at me, and only hitting me (and it was unintentional!) once in my entire life. He was diabetic and had a serious heart condition that prevented him from working outside of the home, so he was always around. He could could make anything from tiny gorgeous beaded jewelry, to quilting the tiniest stitches, to building a barn, and quite literally everything in between. And did I mention that he grew & subsequently canned everything that we ate? He was also a Marine Vietnam Vet, and was very proud of that. I LOVE that he was confident enough in himself/sexuality to do thjngs that are considered to be women's work. I feel that he helped me to be the well-rounded person that I am today - I love sewing and art as much as I do hiking and baseball and soccer. He passed away from a massive heart attack when I was 12.

My mother on the otherhand was a drunk when I was a kid, she would disappear to bars and my dad would have to leave to try to get her home. I would hide alone in an upstairs bedroom peering out the window to see when they got home. I was about five the first time I remember this happening. At some point she started taking pills. When she wasn't drunk she was okay. Today she is totally accepting of my sexuality and of my wife, she still isn't perfect but she has come a long way from the drunken excapdes of my childhood! She is also the only parent I've got so I try to treat her well.

[Counselor]

My relationship with my mother is pretty good, we're both coming to terms with things in our lives we never thought we would reconcile, and she's still learning, so I get lots of questions about friendships and romance...the irony only now occurs to me...

My father, on the other hand, doesn't seem to like me much.

[archubbycub]

My relationship with my parents is a weird one. My mom, at best, thinks my sexuality is just a phase I'm going through and at worst I'm possessed by some demon that she thinks can be prayed away. It's very awkward for me to be around her for any length of time. It's like some giant elephant setting in the corner of the room that no one wants to acknowledge.

My dad, on the other hand, is maybe not so much accepting of the fact that I'm gay, but he realizes that it's something I can't change and he's trying his best to work around it. He's even met my boyfriend once, and even though I didn't introduce him as my boyfriend (simply because I didn't want to force the situation) I believe my dad caught on right away to who he was. However, my dad was recently diagnosed with liver cancer and we're not sure what kind of chance he has at this point. It's kind of scary to think that I may be losing the one parent who's even remotely close to accepting me for who I am.

[Nick9]

LateBloomer, tough? Yeah for me, but when I read the other stories, I feel like I should shut up...
Maybe all I hoped for was, now, at my age, to be finally a partner, an equal for my dad.

Rosie, the story about your father is really nice
and Archubbycup, I'll keep my fingers crossed for your dad...

Thank you all for sharing your stories *hug* It's inspirational at many levels for me, because I have kids of my own.

[LateBloomer]

LateBloomer, tough? Yeah for me, but when I read the other stories, I feel like I should shut up...
Maybe all I hoped for was, now, at my age, to be finally a partner, an equal for my dad.

Words to live by.




http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself.Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

[archubbycub]

Thanks Nick!