I can't stop thinking about suicide

[lovefuku]

I've thought about suicide since I was 15 (when I discovered myself as gay,it depressed me since then...) and now at 37 ,I still think about it sometimes when I really feel lonely,hopeless and find myself worthless. Though I think about suicide so many times,but I've never did attempted suicide. Now I just want to live with my parents and take care of them when they're old and can't help themself. But I often think when the day they're gone, my life has no meaning anymore, I have no close friends, lovers,no good job, What's the point of life? but I still hope I will find "the meaning",be happy and can deal with my lonely life.

Have you ever thought about suicide just because loneliness of being gay?

Sorry for my English.

[Nick9]

Hi lovefuku,

I think that you will find a lot of people here who feel or felt the same.

I was under the impression that people in Bangkok are quite tolerant?

You know, I felt like you so many times, but when I try to offer you some solution, it sounds like such a cliché. You need to feel good about yourself. So that even though you are alone, you won't feel lonely.
How to feel good about yourself? A million dollar question...
I am sure there is something you are good at. There is something that makes you feel good. Maybe helping other people? Sometimes we feel like we don't deserve to be happy. That's not true. Happiness is not something we deserve.

I know that we all have a lot of problems and unfilled dreams, but it's up to us how we will feel about ourselves right now in this minute.

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.
Dale Carnegie

It may sound laughable, but if you manage to find something nice in everyday life, your future won't look that empty and scary

And if you feel bad, come here. Talk to us, play those silly word games with us and make friends here at GS

[TimeSage]

If you're not already, I suggest seeing a therapist (This seems to be my go to suggetion as of late... Hmmm >.<) about these feelings. You may be clinicly depressed and not know it. In addtion to the obvoius therapy, they can also put in contact with support groups, includeing places you can call at any time, or give you medcation if you need (and want) it if you you're deemed deppressed. These kinds of thoughts are not to be taken lightly, ever. I've known people who did commit sucide and my ex gave me a day long panic attack due to a text message that implied he was considereing it. It is not fun for the people left behind or the people around you when you even talk about it.

That said, keep posting here, it'll make you freinds!

[Nick9]

It is not fun for the people left behind or the people around you when you even talk about it.

That said, keep posting here, it'll make you freinds!

But that, as TimeSage said, doesn't mean you should not talk about your bad feelings. Don't bottle it up, that way it will get worse. Reach out to the people around you or here. *hug*

[TimeSage]

Right. It's better to talk about it, even if it's painful, so you can get better, and then everyone can be happy forever. (I'm pretty bad at getting my points across sometimes)

[Nick9]

Right. It's better to talk about it, even if it's painful, so you can get better, and then everyone can be happy forever. (I'm pretty bad at getting my points across sometimes)

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that.

[MisterTinkles]

Gay doesnt have ANYTHING to do with it.

This is a HUMAN condition, which is not gender specific or type specific.

A lot of people feel alone. Ive been alone all of my life. Well, I do have some friends, but they all live in other states and I rarely hear from them. It is EXTREMELY difficult for me to make friends, because I dont put up with people who lie, cheat, steal, or like to play headgames. Just a waste of my time.

Its hard to find good, honest people to be friends with. But they are out there!

If you are like most people, you have to work at everything you get in life....this includes friends, jobs, and love interests. Its easy for some people, and its really difficult for others. I fall into the difficult category.

We all wonder WHY we are here, and its human nature to think about ending the torment of it all. Ive been there a few times, as have several people on here.

Its something you have to work through. You have to fight those inner demons and find a place inside yourself where you can be happy with you.

You might try meditation. If you find the right kind of meditation, it will help a lot.

Things are rough all over the planet, but you can always come on here and let us know whats on your mind.
There are lots of people here who are nice to talk too.

[TimeSage]

Hate to disagree but due to external pressures, being gay sadly sometimes is a cause. It shouldn't be, but it is. Still not a good reason to kill oneself though

[Evan88]

Yup I also thought of that too.. But of course, I wont do it since I love myself, haha. I also have lots of dreams and goals and I dont wanna die young. I have to achieve all my dreams before I die! Anyway, just think of your family and friends, they would all be sad if you would die. So please domt do it.

[Udabar]

I have thought about suicide many times in my life and I have even attempted at my wrists. (Damn friends coming in with ninja reflexes.) Unlike you, I have never thought of these emotions due to being gay. I have always thought of these because everything that seems to go wrong in ones life happens to me.

Yet I have found an outlet for this without going to a therapist. I have turned to video games and role playing games mostly. I am able to get away from my real life and be anyone or anything I want to be. I can even put the negative things in my life into the game and solve them there too. I was cheated on by someone I was dating, well I turn on an MMORPG and all the monsters now, to me, look like my ex and I can hack and slash my way through a cheating hoard. By the time I get done, real life just seems to happen and I am now able to just accept things that happen in my life without deadly consequences. Well this works for me and I highly doubt it will work for everyone. You just have to find something to take your mind off of it.