Trouble Thinking Love or Not

[CuddlyBear]

Hey guys,

Well, first off, my past relationship was not able to work out, and right now I don't know if I still have feelings for him or not...but, now someone asked me to go out with him and I said yes because I do like him...however, I just don't know the meaning of love anymore I guess...I don't know if I should just remain single for a while...I feel like I get attached too quickly and my "love" for people is dwindling because I think I am in love, but I may just really like them....I need to understand what I'm doing with myself...and the guy I'm dating currently is almost the same age as me, which is good, and after next school year, he's transferring to the same school I go to(he decided this a long time ago). I do like him...I am just unsure of what to do...

[LateBloomer]

Hey guys,

Well, first off, my past relationship was not able to work out, and right now I don't know if I still have feelings for him or not...but, now someone asked me to go out with him and I said yes because I do like him...however, I just don't know the meaning of love anymore I guess...I don't know if I should just remain single for a while...I feel like I get attached too quickly and my "love" for people is dwindling because I think I am in love, but I may just really like them....I need to understand what I'm doing with myself...and the guy I'm dating currently is almost the same age as me, which is good, and after next school year, he's transferring to the same school I go to(he decided this a long time ago). I do like him...I am just unsure of what to do...

Sounds like a "rebound" to me....especially since you're not sure if you still have feelings toward your ex-.

You owe it to your date to perfectly HONEST about what stage of life you're in right now. You are literally between two relationships and you have ambiguous feelings.

If you're just looking to date for fun, you need to make that clear to your date.

If you think you might be looking for something more serious, you owe to BOTH of you to sit down and resolve the feelings you have (or may not have) towards your ex-.

Best,

[CuddlyBear]

Thank you so much I really appreciate that information, and I am not looking for fun, I really want a true relationship with someone, and I think it's because me and my ex still talk as friends that I think there's something, so I just need to let that feeling go if I want to move on...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I make it a point to take a 365 day vacation, 8760 hours, 52 weeks, 12 months or one year which ever ends first....

I did rebound relationships and it always ended badly. I discovered that taking at least a year off between relationships gave me real time to mend my heart and figure out stuff about myself which made the next relationship easier/better or at the very least I wasn't making all of the same mistakes I made in previous relationships.

Right now you are still pretty much part of 'Us' - You know who you are as You and _____ (whatever the name of your ex is). I think you need to figure out who you are as an individual, that way when the next relationship rolls around you will know who YOU are in that relationship - not you and __________ (the ex).

Life is not a race, you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy/content with life. If you feel you must be in a relationship to be content/happy you have some serious problems and should seek out the help of a therapist to resolve/work on whatever it is that makes you unhappy about 'me' (yourself).