The reality is its geared towards the genders - and tries to disguise the "fact" (please to note the quotation marks there) that a bottom is the woman and the man is the top bottom = woman, top = man.
THAT gender thing is due to the fact that humans come mostly in only two genders, and for millions of years it has been pretty much established that a man does the insertion and the woman is passive and accepts it.
As a species we have spent at least the last 10 thousand years making these roles based on what is or is not between the legs of the individual. Women have been 'passive' or submissive to their male mate, not as a matter of choice, but as a matter of a patriarchal society where men knew that they had to 'take care' of their female, and fight off other males who wanted to mate with their female.
From that we have the outgrowth that mothers stay at home, tending hearth and home, that women are fundamentally physically weaker (although any man who attempted to go through labor would most likely commit suicide). Women were subjugated and made into property and slaves. And it remained that way for thousands of years, until the early 20th century, actually the mid-20th century when contraceptives became very practical for women to use.
Of course dealing with two people of the same gender, who penetrates whom is not measured by just the gender, a lot of other things come into play to confuse the matter and make it far more complex than it is for a two gender coupling. But, since the majority relate to sex acts based on a two gender system, anything two people of the same gender does that relates to the penetrative sex act is going to be reduced to the same sex act(s) performed by two gendered couples.
I guess we could call tops Plugs and bottoms Receptacles .... but hey, in all honesty, even electricians tend to genderfy outlets and plugs (male/female connectors).
A rose by any other name is still a rose... What needs to change is not so much the titles, but the way we identify or think of those titles.
That isn't going to change simply because we live in a world where around 98% of the population identifies sexual roles directly to male/female gender. And like it or not, women have only been 'equal' in ideology for about 100 years (if you really stretch it).
A bottom is not thought of as a loser because they take it up the arse, they are thought of as being a loser because they are considered a woman, a sissy, a girly girl because they take it up the arse. It is a gender related concept of 'weakness' not an act of sex.
Considering we still live in a world where a man who has had ten sex partners is considered a stud and a woman who has ten partners is considered a slut, you can clearly see how gender-biased we still are as a species. It is that gender bias that is causing all the havoc, not just for gay bottom men, but also for all women who are still treated and seen as the 'weaker' sex, and given unfair disadvantages for being born sans a penis.
It is that mind set which bleds over into the LGBT community and makes us look worse than ______ because the majority cannot see a difference between a male taking it up the bum from another male and a woman taking it in the vaggy by a male - it is essentially the same thing in their minds.
Lastly, I think it is predominately the homophobes that view top as more than bottom or bottoms as less than tops. Of course the homophobe also believes that every gay male gets his fudged packed, which leaves us with the question of who packs the fudge? And homophobes also have a lot of other 'facts' skewed when it comes to gays.
Thus no matter what you call it, the homophobes will make it sound dirty and less than to be the bottom/sub/passive whatever role. Its in the homophobes nature to fear it and make it ugly and ridicule.
Besides, I find it odd that you suggest we change the names but offer no replacement names. What may I ask do you have in mind?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
I don't think problem is with the terms themselves, I describe myself as a bottom and in NO way does it make me lessen my self worth. I think it's useful in the sense it accurately describes your position in bed.
The problem is really within society, where we use these terms and bend them to our imagination, not to mention masculinity is always so cherished in communities so... In short, being a bottom is branded as girly and less masculine so it's often seen as less valuable.
Just my 2 cents on the issue, and I'm not going to change a vocabulary term or how I identify because society is a bitch, because no matter what you change the words to the judgement wont stop because you aren't tackling the issue, rather pandering to it.
If you keep looking deeper into the issue you'll find that this is a topic of what society deems acceptable in a man, but after all I can only go so far while trying to avoiding repeating exactly what browyn aerrow said. I completely agree with him..
•
I actually disagree with you NorthLondonLad. I personally don't thing the term "bottom" is demeaning enough. That's why I always refer to someone I have sex with as "it," just in case "it" starts to think a little too highly of himself and so that "it" remembers how grateful "it" should be that I'm allowing "it" to be with Me.
•
