the right decision ?

[dolingsail]

I met someone cute and we ended up having sex but he told me right from the start he doesn’t want a relationship. He told me he wanted to get to know me as a friend and I agreed although I understood i wanted more. I kept meeting him and I sort of aimed towards sex with him which we ended up doing, he didn’t show any intimate interest with me, expect sleeping together.
I began to get attached to him and every time I met them I couldn’t
get my arms out of him . He told me he cannot give me what I want.
We met after 2 weeks, he contacted me. But I saw he was still no showing any sign of interest. I couldn’t help by kissing him but eventually told him I cannot hide away my feelings for him and its best to take a time off. He told me he feels sad to lose me as a friend .Have I done the right decision ? Should I perhaps had needed to take control of myself and not lose him as a friend ? there is no need of course to say that it hurted me a lot to understand how much i want him and see no move from him

[Dan1980]

I am sorry but it's best to stay away from him. If you want more than just sex.

[Mirage]

I empathize with you in your hurt. I know how heartbreaking that can be and I am sorry you are going through it.


However, he was honest and up front with you from the beginning about not wanting a serious relationship. You can't fault him anything there.

I would try to reconcile your feelings and keep the friendship, it sounds like you really like him and it would be better to have him in your life as a friend than not at all right?

Best of luck to you in whatever you choose

[Woollyhats]

I'm so sorry, but he was just using you . Because of how attracted you are to him, it's unlikely that you'd be able to "just be friends", let's be honest here. I think you definitely made the right decision.

I imagine you're feeling pretty rough, but I hope you can realise that you're making a healthy decision for yourself, and that you will feel better .

[dolingsail]

wow what a quick replies,

thank you...
I hope to feel better and forget about it as soon as possible

[Dan1980]

You have to do what's right for you.

[HomeagainNYC]

The guy was upfront with you, but you didn't like what you heard and tried to change the situation.

Unfortunately, in this case, you did create your own hurt, and I am sorry that you have to go through it. You're taking the best course of action by stepping back and reassessing, not him, or how to get him to like you, but your own actions. I think you have done absolute the right thing - for both of you.

[Aeneas]

he doesn’t want a relationship = he is not into you, he just wanted sex.

train yourself to understand these "women-speak" that many gay people have adopted to better fit into their women role.

regardless of how he really feels about committing to a relationship, anyone who digs you and wants to be around you will NEVER utter this phrase.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

He told you right from the start he doesn't do relationships...

You were told/informed of what will happen.

Do you honestly think that you are that special that you can change his mind? (rhetorical question, I know you do think that).

In all honesty, it is clear you are not hardwired for 'just sex' with guys and need a fella who is able and willing to enter into a 'real' relationship (not just sex).

This fella is unable or unwilling (or both) to give you that. Going your separate ways is the best bet until such time as you can reconcile the fact that he ain't going to love you 'that way'.

[dolingsail]

Obviously I was rationally aware that trying to be near him in order to make him want me is useless.
I don't blame nor mad at him at any point at all . I'm only disappointed.
I hope I made the right decision… as for my feelings I can't deny that I still think about him and stil have hope he will contact me again. It's just hurts to get to know a person and share wih him your private stuff and then let them go.
I can say that I definitely learned a leasson , don't put your energy and heart when you don't get this feeling at return:/
. I'm a very warm and sensitive person. But I have to protect myself