KawaiiKitty Wrote:lol gotta love people that really dont have a leg to stand on for a rebuttle...they just resort to personal insults.
Classy.
Just because someone stands up for alittle moral decency and standards doesnt make them full of themselves.
Is it really any surprise that gay guys come here complaining about not being able to find stable relationships and then in the next breath they say something about, "well Ive been on grindr for one night stands alot" etc or something to that effect. Would you pay 200,000$ for a car that has 100k miles on it, needed 4 new tires, and a new engine? No? Then why would you want a partner thats has that many miles on him?
yes bitch, I'm classy enough to handle myself and hold all the shit I gotta say, don't think you sound smart or classy, you sound just ridiculously funny
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Hmm, I suppose I'm just not much into hashing it out lol.
Once it feels like I gotta prove or argue for something, I switch off :/ . I say my dimesworth and leave it at that point, no refund.
If we can Logisitcally Debate over a Subject, with either side in the using of Provisional amendments of their opinions for the other's if only to see reason and make rationale points beyond the point of biased opinions and beliefs, then I'm there gurl ;3
Otherwise, it just seems malignant and serves a cyclic purpose...
There's a reason in Philosophy Circles are seen as a Conundrum...however it is my favourite shape :p
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From this thread I have learned that...
1. No means no.
2. Live and let live.
3. Treat people the way you want to be treated.
4. Everyone has their own opinions and lifestyle and so long as they are not harming anyone they should not be insulted, belittled, or judged for it. Just say, "it's not for me" and go about your business.
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SolemnBoy Wrote:Well, exactly. YOU can't fathom how anyone could be happy like that, YOU refuse to believe it and for YOU real love doesn't work that way. It would never be a matter of trying to make someone stay. If I was given an ultimatum of "If you don't let me sleep with other people I'm leaving you" I'd tell the guy to just go ahead and leave. But communication is important and it's of vital importance that you discuss your sexual needs/desires with each other. There are also different kinds of sex; the type done passionately with the one you love and the type whose sole purpose is to give and receive pleasure.
When I said I'd probably condone an open relationship, I didn't mean I'd go ahead and tell my partner "Oh yeah just go fuck around if that's what you want". A decision as such would only be made after plenty of communication, openness, discussion and rule-making. I'm neither disrespecting myself nor being desperate and it's dangerous to associate a certain behaviour with only one possible explanation. Here are a few other examples as to why anyone would go through with an open relationship.
1. Partner 2 wants an open relationship and partner 1 accepts because he's afraid of losing his love. Desperation.
2. Partner 1 and partner 2 have been together for a long time. They still love each other but none of them like the thought of sleeping with the same person only until they die. They decide to give each other permission to have sex with others.
3. Partner 1 and partner 2 both believe in separating love and sex. Both have high sex-drives. Thus, they have sex not only with each other but also other people. Of course they made this decision together.
Now this is my last post in this thread. Hopefully you'll be able to one day drop the conviction that your personal views on sex are the best. The fact that I might be in an open relationship in the future does not mean that I'm desperate, disrespectful to myself or less capable of feeling the same intensity in love as you are. I cannot stretch this enough.
So why should I drop my views on sexuality since they are my views and I do think they are the best? Do you have views on certain topics and think, "well they arent the best views but theyre mine?" Of course I think they are the best views, they are what work for me. Just because I view it as such doesnt affect you one ioda. If you want to be in an open relationship more power to you but you cant come here telling me that I HAVE to accept it and respect you because my views on the subject are different. Im not telling you that you shouldnt be in an open relationship just that my views and how I see people who engage in such activities are less.
That said, honestly I feel that all this openness is just an excuse to cheat. You may have communication and rules and all that good stuff but in the end you are just giving yourself both permission to cheat. Cheating is never a good thing for a relationship even if both are doing it. There are certain things that I think are universally true in relationships. This is one of them. You cant cheat or be unfaithful to one another and except to have a truly happy relationship. You may think you can have your cake and eat it too but I dont believe its possible.
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VileKyle Wrote:No, it really doesn't. As Jake said, you are comparing tomatoes with guavas. Gangs and drugs cause blatant harm to society. Promiscuous sex causes nothing but sex and has no outcome on the rest of society, including you. I don't see how you can say what anyone else does under their own roof is wrong just because you wouldn't do it. Is what they are doing harming you in any way? Not at all. Get off your high fucking horse and stop being such a little bitch.
Promiscuous sex spreads disease and kills people. And lets be honest here...people who have alot of sex dont always use protection. Its just a fact. Thats why there are so many cases of STD all around the world. It also causes cheating and eventually heartache for the two people in a relationship. Not to mention the fact that you really cant form long lasting relationships with other people if you are bed hopping every night. Relationships take time and nurturing to develop. It takes alittle more time than the hour or two you would spend down at the Motel 6.
To simply be blind and ignore these issues is ridiculous. People always make up excuse after excuse for bad behavior cause they dont want to be called on their shit.
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Jake Wrote:Than I invite you to develop on the subject... don't just throw this in and go ahead develop on the subject and let's see what's your view and you knowledge on it. let's see how your vision on drug leaders and gang leader compare to this... and I hope you have a good rhetoric... not just some crap you find on every tabloid websites or newspapers.
What exactly do you want me to expound on? I know enough about drug dealers and gang leaders to know that I dont want to have anything to do with them. They destroy lives and families and are generally all around horrible people. I dont want to associate with them as much as I dont want to associate with someone who has promiscuous sex all the time.
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Jake Wrote:Total lack of respect for someone that just like you is voicing its opinion. If you are going to tell someone that you have an opinion on such and such subject try not to be authoritative that your opinion is the right way to be.
Again some really bad assumptions and rebuttal to understand and comply that YOU are not a perfect couple or a model to follow, I am quite certain that other couples that are much more open minded than you are on the subject are living a very happy life, and there’s more people like them than you can ever imagine.
Who died and made you the model to follow in all relationship in the world, who said that your relationship is the one to follow, if you are happy in your type of relationship and it suit you and your partner Good for you but that doesn’t mean that the person next to you cannot have a different kind of relationship that is not similar to yours and yet they could be more in love than you ever think. Some people really are not that much into exclusivity in their relationship and You buddy have nothing to say about it. If you don’t like the fact that some couples are more liberal than yours, look the other way. Not everyone is jealous and affective dependent.
And what kind of statement is that “whether you want to admit that is true or not”? So you believe that everything you said here and above is the truth and that it’s the only way to be? May I suggest you get out of your ass a little and look around, it takes all kind of people to make a world and there’s some people who sometimes think a little too high of themselves and are blind to see the world that revolves around them.
What is real love? Do you know? What you define as real love seems totally boring to me and “god” trust me you’d be surprise how very fund I am of my husband and yet we are in an open relationship. We have had threesome and at the very beginning he was allowed to a certain extent to have sex with someone else and I guess in your recluse and “old fashion” mind we don’t “really” love each other? Really well; I’m throwing you a challenge and see how really in love you are compared to us who are sinners.
Perhaps it will be very good for you to learn to differentiate LOVE vs SEX. They’re not the same you know and one doesn’t necessarily lead to another. As most sexologists will confirm to you there’s a world of difference between “having sex” and “making love”. I am making love to my husband which doesn’t spare me from having sex with another dude and the same is viable for him. Yes we are this kind of “open” couple and trust me I’m quite certain I could compare my relationship with yours and I can guarantee you that you’ll find two guys much more relax and much more into one another than you could even be with your partner.
Everything isn’t black and white in a relationship and you can’t base the success of one relationship based on yours… because frankly reading through your posts and analyzing your speeches I can tell you in a jiffy that I do not envy your relationship not even a second. The very day your man leaves you or you leave him you’ll be that very pitiful little man walking head down wondering why all happened to you. Because reading your reply it really seems to me that it’s quite always about you… you have a hard time to put yourself into other’s shoes, but why would you, it seems that you way is the best way. When reality will slap you in the face for real you’ll take a massive drop from your podium.
I have went through most of your posts on the subject and let me tell you CutieKitty I find your arguments very flawed and very close-minded and although you claim that those are just your opinions this is not the way you want them to be perceived. If you are going to be on a support site and pretend that you can help someone else figure out their problems may I suggest you detach yourself a bit from it. It’s fine to say I do not accept such and such behavior in my environment or in my couple but going all your way to tell someone that doesn’t agree how wrong they are, it’s you who is wrong, it’s wrong to believe that they’re only one way, it’s wrong to believe that you have the perfect recipes (there’s many ways to make spaghetti con carne and I don’t believe you way will be better or would taste better than mine).
KawaiiKitty I believe that you should get off your belly button and look around a little (you’re not alone on this board and in the world)... your beliefs and statements doesn’t make the majority. As much as you claim that this is your opinion, the tone you engage in your replies is full of judgment and plain accusation and honestly I feel that you’re so conceit about yourself that it really does ... "Real love" is different for everyone and what you consider to be "real love" isn't real love to me and trust me I have been 8 years with the same dude, have children, houses and all the perks a so-call "straight partner" or real love partners have. I have 6 car standing in my garage one of them is a Maserati, got a huge house and few other houses in my country and around the world and honestly Kawaii I worth few million dollars but yet you don’t see me coming around saying how my life and my views are better than everyone else or that they are wrong to be such and such ways. I'd say you keep your judgment to yourself as your opinion "hidden into" -“I am right and you're not” is just plain insulting to other who are seeking ADVISES not commandments .
And a last word on promiscuity, people live their life the way they want it… they have the right to live their lives without judgements, without prejudice, without being told that they are whore, bitches, and/or stupid. Hey what would you say if I’d say that your choice is very stupid? You’d be pissed… or I guess let’s go to something that looks more like what you replied here… you’d think less of me for being promiscuous even though I lead a very happy life and who knows perhaps I do have more financial means than you do and yet my couple works fine… did your beliefs and rebuttal to fathom that some people have different views and different type of relationships change anything in their daily routine? NO it doesn’t and god knows I could look down to a lot of people and yet I love people enough to learn all about the diversity that forms this world not about one couple that believe theirs is the model to follow. Ask questions do not assume… once I spoke to someone into BDSM and I always wasn’t hot about BDSM… but for me to learn about it I sat with the guy and had a very interesting discussion about the whole fetishes and even participated to a session (as a viewer of course) and is BDSM for me? HELL no but I know what it is and I have far less judgements about it than when I didn’t and calling those into that fetish a “bunch of nut bars”.
May I suggest that you do not go in such comparison… I would be quite surprise that you know anything about drug dealers and gang leaders… stay on course with your Prada bag and Gucci glasses I believe it would be much better for you. Leave those social questions to the professionals. And right now you have just compared tomatoes with guavas.
Honestly KawaiiKitty you might want to open your mind a little more and formulate your advices in a way that it is beneficial for everyone and the op… it’s fine to compare yourself and use your own example as a template, but using your own experience and make it look like it’s the way to follow is totally wrong. And you may come back to me on this but I hope you’re ready for it. Do not tickle a sleeping giant, he may roll over you and squash the life out of you.
wow wait you tell me Im conceited yet you go on to brag about how many cars and houses and whatever else you have?
hey pot have you met kettle?
These are my opinions and my opinions alone. I am more than entitled to them. I never said that someone should refrain from engaging in promiscuous sex or an open relationship. I merely stated that I think less of people who do engage in such and that I think they are lying to themselves to soothe the fact that they are cheating. Again that is my opinion on the matter. You are more than entitled to your opinion on the matter. I can amicably agree to disagree if our opinions dont see eye to eye. But Ill be damned if Im going to be attacked just for my opinion. Thats all this has ever been. Its not like my opinion can physically reach out and separate people from having promiscuous sex.
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KawaiiKitty Wrote:What exactly do you want me to expound on? I know enough about drug dealers and gang leaders to know that I dont want to have anything to do with them. They destroy lives and families and are generally all around horrible people. I dont want to associate with them as much as I dont want to associate with someone who has promiscuous sex all the time.
Just go wild dude you're the one making the comparison so just go ahead and finish your assumptions... so if you know enough about them just go forward and tell us what you know if you can make such comparison I'm curious to find out what you know... and well telling me that they go around destroy families and lives isn't enough of an argument since you just compared them to promiscuous sex... which is definitely comparing apples and carrots. So go ahead do your best...what do you know about them that can justify your comparisons to promiscuous sex.
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Jake Wrote:Just go wild dude you're the one making the comparison so just go ahead and finish your assumptions... so if you know enough about them just go forward and tell us what you know if you can make such comparison I'm curious to find out what you know... and well telling me that they go around destroy families and lives isn't enough of an argument since you just compared them to promiscuous sex... which is definitely comparing apples and carrots. So go ahead do your best...what do you know about them that can justify your comparisons to promiscuous sex.
isnt it enough that they both destroy lives and families? How much more justification do you need to not do something that is detrimental not only to you but those around you? Again like I said its just an excuse, a sublimation, of behavior to condone and otherwise taboo situation.
I havent even touched on how promiscuous sex makes the gay community look to the outside world, especially heterosexual people. The majority of gays want to project an image of normalcy and show the world that we can have lasting committed relationships again for the sake of normalcy. Having promiscuous sex tarnishes that reputation. Heterosexual people point to the person having promiscuous sex and say, "oh look theyre having sex with any number of partners. They must not be able to control themselves and their sex drive" They hold it up as a reason to keep gay people oppressed.
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^I was gonna post something but you're not worthy. lmao
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