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Feminism and hatred towards feminism
While some people believe that feminism has turned into a need for power request... it is not it's still remain the very same... not all feminist understand it that way though... Radical feminist may sometimes gives the impression of wanting power to remove power.

But in a rough that's what feminist wants

To end the perpetuation of gender expectations that, on balance, harm women.

Some important point coming from the UN newsletter (yes I still receive them, so I checked my archives LOL - they should also be available on the web though)

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  • Violence against women is the most common but least punished crime in the world.
  • It is estimated that between 113 million and 200 million women are demographically “missing.” They have been the victims of infanticide (boys are preferred to girls) or have not received the same amount of food and medical attention as their brothers and fathers.
  • The number of women forced or sold into prostitution is estimated worldwide at anywhere between 700,000 and 4,000,000 per year. Profits from sex slavery are estimated at seven to twelve billion US dollars per year.
  • Globally, women between the age of fifteen and forty-four are more likely to be maimed or die as a result of male violence than through cancer, malaria, traffic accidents or war combined.
  • At least one out of every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Usually, the abuser is a member of her own family or someone known to her. Domestic violence is the largest form of abuse of women worldwide, irrespective of region, culture, ethnicity, education, class and religion.
  • It is estimated that more than two million girls are genitally mutilated per year, a rate of one girl every fifteen seconds.
  • Systematic rape is used as a weapon of terror in many of the world’s conflicts. It is estimated that between 250,000 and 500,000 women in Rwanda were raped during the 1994 genocide.
  • Studies show the increasing links between violence against women and HIV and demonstrate that HIV-infected women are more likely to have experienced violence, and that victims of violence are at higher risk of HIV infection.
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Those are FACTS not opinion by the way Smile
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A world without rapists would be a world in which women moved freely without
fear of men, according to Brownmiller’s (1975: 209) seminal work on rape.
However, 25 years on, rape statistics are not encouraging. Figures on sexual
violence suggest that one in four women are the victims of rape, or attempted
rape, during their lifetime (Lizak, 1991). For example, Koss and her colleagues
(Koss et al., 1987) in their US national survey of 6200 college and university
students found that 53 percent had experienced some degree of sexual coercion,
and 15 percent reported being raped and 12 percent reported attempted rape. In
England and Wales, despite a range of initiatives to improve the criminal justice
system’s response to rape cases, the conviction rate for rape continues to fall. In
1985 this rate stood at 24 percent nationally, whereas in 1997 it stood at a mere
9 percent (Harris and Grace, 1999).

Source: Feminism & Psychology © 2001 SAGE (London, Thousand Oaks and New Delhi),
Vol. 11(1): 11–33. [0959-3535(200102)11:1;11–33;015434]

Who's to blame? Here I propose a reposting of a study that was conducted by ICM firm in UK... interviewed a random sample of 1,095 adults aged 18+ by telephone, see the result below:

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  • They were given a series of scenarios and asked to indicate whether they believed a woman was totally responsible, partially responsible or not at all responsible for being raped.
  • If the woman was drunk, 4pc said she was totally responsible and 26pc said she was partially responsible.
  • If the woman behaved in a flirtatious manner, 6pc said she was totally responsible and 28pc said she was partially responsible.
  • If the woman failed to say "no" clearly to the man, 8pc said she was totally responsible and 29pc said she was partially responsible.
  • If the woman was wearing sexy or revealing clothing, 6pc said she was totally responsible and 20pc said she was partially responsible.
  • If it is known that the woman has many sexual partners, 8pc said she was totally responsible and 14pc said she was partially responsible.
  • If she is alone and walking in a dangerous or deserted area, 5pc said she was totally responsible and 17pc said she was partially responsible.
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Jake Wrote:SeaDevil I'd suggest you to go read some of the answer the person sent before accusing me of being immature... there was really unacceptable things being said in this thread and someone had to do something or it was going to keep on going for ever and ever.

Yes my last message sounds perhaps childish... but it is in reply of an even more childish message.

To all

I am truly sorry if this thread has degenerated into a what seem to be a personal argumentation war between a member and myself many other who have taken part in this discussion.

I am not going to do a complete retrospective of what happened in this thread has this would be long and if you want to make an opinion for yourself, feel free to go read it all back...

I have been following the entire thread, actually. Referencing your own behavior and referring to it as a war only illustrates my point. Just because one person is misbehaving doesn't mean another person should. From an outside perspective it just comes across as two people being inappropriate, not on person doing so for a "good" reason.

I actually started frequenting this board because of this thread. I'm just finishing a final essay for an intercultural communications course where feminism and women's rights were examined.

Feminism by itself as a word isn't specific enough. Many different cultural groups have adopted it and through their behavior it has gained multiple implications. I dislike the feminists who use it as a term that excludes men in the solution. Much like the gay rights movement its purpose should be to create equal protection, rights, and treatment. I don't believe there should be any more homogenization among genders than there should be among the gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansensual cultures.

There are problems for people who are exposed to prejudices from any dominant group, e.g. that experienced by black gay men in America at the hands of many of white gay men. The ones that women experience at the hands of men are varied by locale, but are predominant.

If men aren't involved in the solution, it's not going to work. Change only occurs when the dominant group is either emotionally driven to change their behavior, or are overthrown in a literal revolution, not a figurative one. In this case, it would still require a large number of cisgengered men for either solution.

I lived in a home that was dominated by an abusive male. That didn't stop until my mother almost died in front of me, at the ripe, old age of 11. As a result I can be quite explosive in my response to real or perceived sexism or abuse towards women in my environment.

Even having had that experience, I still had unconscious behaviors pointed out to me that exacerbate the situation that women are exposed to in the environment I live in. It's a pervasive problem that isn't going to be fixed in a few hundred, or even thousand posts made by a limited number of people (although it's certainly a good thing to be bringing up the subject as often as possible), especially when the subject becomes a personal battleground for some of the participants. It will require constant scrutiny of each individuals actions as well as how those actions combine to expose the incredibly complicated nature of human culture.

Systemic prejudice will only begin to truly begin to be purged when this is done on an incredibly frequent basis, without raging at the idea that everyone is a part of the problem, regardless of how pro-feminism they believe they are. It's a horrible and pervasive issue that we all grew up within, in some form or another.

It's also made up of separate, but interconnected issues. Turning a blind eye to women being physically abused is a cultural problem, as is someone being raised to do so. Not every male that lashes out at a female is doing so because of a gender issue. Statistics are skewed in every direction, and are a tool, not "facts" to be used to bludgeon people. They're only facts when looked at in context, including their controls, locale, the people conducting them, methods used, culture of all persons involved, etc.

I've mostly been responding to specific posts because this is a huge, extremely personal as well as academic problem for me. I find challenging others' perspectives on the issue to be more helpful than to attempt to sum up my personal experience and education as well as the glaring holes in that experience and knowledge in an incredibly small space.
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Even reading over my post I'm wincing at my abundant use of the word incredibly.
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SeaDevil Wrote::I have been following the entire thread, actually. Referencing your own behavior and referring to it as a war only illustrates my point. Just because one person is misbehaving doesn't mean another person should. From an outside perspective it just comes across as two people being inappropriate, not on person doing so for a "good" reason.

I understand you point but coming here to blame me after the storm has passed doesn't make it better... Now I don't want to go through a whole set of argument with this as he has been banned from the thread for a temporary period of time and he will come back and will attempt to start it again and the reason why I started to put on some other details more related to the subject at hand is to avoid this again. You made your point earlier and we understood it; but Sea Devil one person misbehaving is one thing... but you do realize that as soon as somebody was saying something or responding to him he would drivel on the same subject or turn their statement to ridicule and trust me he would have done the very same to you... some people do not understand unless one take action... I first tried to understand its point and find out that he had no further argument then judgement, disrespect and false representation of interest for the gay social cause and very little information on the pandemic all that hidden into a so called personal opinions that he was trying to pass those as fact without looking at all the other options. Nobody said he wasn't right about women's clothing, or gay guy being promiscuous but those are very little example they were simple drop in a large pool of related consequences for which those needed to be mentioned too.

Hope we understand each other and no I'm not from a high school Smile just like you I have quite the "baggage" academically speaking and quite a lot of life experience where I did not just sit and study... I was there to witness.

Now let me finish to read the rest of your post I just wanted to clarify the first paragraph as I don't find it fair... mostly when you have been following the whole thread.
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SeaDevil Wrote:Even reading over my post I'm wincing at my abundant use of the word incredibly.

Another question though after reading your post... what are you really looking for from a thread like this? I know you're doing some academic research and I did the very same but when I needed to question people on one of the questionnaire I created I was just going outside or in specific center to petition my targeted subject. I did an essay on drug abuse among the street youths in Montreal and surrounding and the effect on HIV and STD among this vulnerable group and their peers. To do so I worked directly as an outreach worker for a non-profit and was able to gather the detail straight from the mouth of the most concerned.

Although GaySpeak isn't bad of a forum and I do like its atmosphere, notwithstanding it's not the best place to conduct a research or yet again gather accurate data unless you form a group and ask people to participate where you are in charge of managing the group
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Jake Wrote:Another question though after reading your post... what are you really looking for from a thread like this? I know you're doing some academic research and I did the very same but when I needed to question people on one of the questionnaire I created I was just going outside or in specific center to petition my targeted subject. I did an essay on drug abuse among the street youths in Montreal and surrounding and the effect on HIV and STD among this vulnerable group and their peers. To do so I worked directly as an outreach worker for a non-profit and was able to gather the detail straight from the mouth of the most concerned.

Although GaySpeak isn't bad of a forum and I do like its atmosphere, notwithstanding it's not the best place to conduct a research or yet again gather accurate data unless you form a group and ask people to participate where you are in charge of managing the group

I'm not doing research here, of any kind. I said I started frequenting it, as in returning frequently. The researching I did was reading papers and conducting discussions, mostly. I originally came to ask about being gay in the south, since I'm moving to TN. I wouldn't come to a message board to study anything, except maybe coding, lol.
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You can point out anything you like, but it's not going to change my opinion on the behavior I've seen. Using something like a reporting function and then finding it hilarious isn't cute, it's bitchy, on both their parts. Not only that, but getting an administrator to moderate a thread moves them from distributor to publisher, making them liable for the contents. As a web developer, that kind of thing is irritating to me. There's a world of difference between calling someone out or even reporting them, and coming back to it with "hahahaha", which is what I commented on.
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SeaDevil Wrote:You can point out anything you like, but it's not going to change my opinion on the behavior I've seen. Using something like a reporting function and then finding it hilarious isn't cute, it's bitchy, on both their parts. Not only that, but getting an administrator to moderate a thread moves them from distributor to publisher, making them liable for the contents. As a web developer, that kind of thing is irritating to me. There's a world of difference between calling someone out or even reporting them, and coming back to it with "hahahaha", which is what I commented on.

And on the same tone I don't see the big deal there and if you wanted to stop the whole thing you just had to step in a deal with him... coming after fact and just drop another one to eventually start over a useless argument over opinion I'm not getting into that either... and I am also a web developer I wear many hats and I don;t see the link (if you run a forum, yes you can be sure eventually you'll have to monitor and when things goes too far why not pressing the darn button)...and that "hahahaha" I believe that you're making a mountain of a grain of salt... so thanks for your opinion and that was mine and let's leave it at that and go back to the topics at once. I have much better things to do than raveling on such irrelevant and insignificant details.
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Alex Wrote:Sorry for stepping in but if you have followed the whole thread, why didn't you step in when you started feeling that it was degenerating. Call my man a child as much as you want but he took upon him to get the abuse to stop... I have read the whole driveling and although Jake is my husband (it doesn't mean I agree with everything he does or says) I surely know the working mind of my dude and it's not the one of a four grader.

Also did you know that through all this rambling and exchange we are at the very same time dealing with the sickness of our youngest son who has just been diagnose with Leukemia at 2 years old... KaiwaiiKitty may have not know but he kept my dude's mind occupied during this very hard period. No parents wants to know that their children is in danger of death... so all I can say to all of you who have been participating... thanks... but now I'm asking Jake to take a break from this board (or at least not get too much involved) since I want him sane and with all its mind (greater than you think and/or many other who doesn't know him personally) for the good of our little boy. Thank you all but I need my guy by my side or at least with me as I am in NY right now with the boy for his chemo therapy while Jake hold the fort at home with the other children.

When life throw you lemons, make lemonade, when a one track mind shows on a forum and break the whole dynamic with a narrow mind; show him that there's several paths to come to Rome and that's all Jake, VileKyle and the other did.

Best regards,

Alex.

Yes baby I hear you... indeed I'll take a break... Love you Smile
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