Anal sex

[Anonymous]

This thread has probably been done before but:
I have never had Anal sex, either giving or taking, but recently ive been getting really really close to this guy and it looks like pretty soon we will be taking that next step, and i am honestly terrified.
First off i dont know if i want to be a giver or a taker which i guess complicates things, the idea of taking seems really hot to me, but when i have explored that type of thing on my own, i dont know if i enjoy the feeling, often thinking it feels like i need a poo, and i dont know if this is normal or what? Also really worried about if i did take, his cock would come out with more on it than went in, if you catch my drift? And also (again lol) im worried there is something id be supposed to be doing to make it better for him?
As for giving well im fairly certain id enjoy that, though with what me and him have done so far, i get the impression he wants to do me more than he wants me to do him. But again, i dont know if there is something special im meant to do to make him enjoy it more, or is it just the general in and out until im done so to speak.

Sorry for making this anonymous but im kinda embarrassed by it.

I guess most of all i dont care if i do things wrong or whatever, i just feel really close to this guy, id almost say i love him as we were friends for such a long time before we got together, and i really dont want to be a disappointment to him, only want to make him happy i guess.

Any help would be super appreciated guys, your always here to turn to when i need advise hence why i love the site so much!

[princealbertofb]

This thread has probably been done before but:
I have never had Anal sex, either giving or taking, but recently ive been getting really really close to this guy and it looks like pretty soon we will be taking that next step, and i am honestly terrified.
First off i dont know if i want to be a giver or a taker which i guess complicates things, the idea of taking seems really hot to me, but when i have explored that type of thing on my own, i dont know if i enjoy the feeling, often thinking it feels like i need a poo, and i dont know if this is normal or what? Also really worried about if i did take, his cock would come out with more on it than went in, if you catch my drift? And also (again lol) im worried there is something id be supposed to be doing to make it better for him?
As for giving well im fairly certain id enjoy that, though with what me and him have done so far, i get the impression he wants to do me more than he wants me to do him. But again, i dont know if there is something special im meant to do to make him enjoy it more, or is it just the general in and out until im done so to speak.

Sorry for making this anonymous but im kinda embarrassed by it.

I guess most of all i dont care if i do things wrong or whatever, i just feel really close to this guy, id almost say i love him as we were friends for such a long time before we got together, and i really dont want to be a disappointment to him, only want to make him happy i guess.

Any help would be super appreciated guys, your always here to turn to when i need advise hence why i love the site so much!

OK Anonymous, you're right: this has been mentioned in other threads before so you might like to do a little search, just in case some of your concerns have been addressed before in an interesting and documented way.

Erm.... where to start. Well, I'd start with the friendship issue. You say you have known your friend a long time and I'd say that this ought to be a good start for a talk about the subject. With HIM, I mean. Is there any reason why you shouldn't discuss the type of sex you'd like to have with him, whether you are the giver or the taker? If you are considering giving him that intimate part of you, is there any reason why you shouldn't discuss the where and the how before you get down to it?

I suppose he knows you're a virgin in that matter, but if he doesn't know, maybe you should let him know and tell him how you are concerned about it.

You say you are honestly terrified. What's the terror about? Are you afraid of being hurt? Are you afraid of not liking it? Are you afraid of liking it too much? Are you afraid that he won't respect you if you surrender to his wishes? What exactly are the motivations of your fear?

I'd say it is usual for a person to be worried about "shitting in their pants" (from fear?) because it's not exactly glamourous but I think if your friend is wise, he will take time to make you feel comfortable before getting down to the job. There shouldn't be anything wrong in taking a little moment for yourself before this act happens to loosen your bowels, and thus feel less afraid of faeces interfering with the fun. In fact, once you've been to the toilet there shouldn't be too much left inside you to be a worry. It takes time for the bowels to fill up again. You could also just avoid having too much food beforehand.

Some people like to take an enema but maybe that's too technical for you yet.

Another concern that ought to be yours, ought to be having protection for his or your first penetration. That will not only reduce the risk of any 'nastiness' smeering his tool, or yours, but will also protect you both from any diseases that might be carried by any one of the partners. This is just a precaution. Do you know if your friend has been sexually active with another person (man OR woman) before you? It's not always enough to trust someone blindly and I wouldn't, if I were you. Again, that is something that needs to be discussed. But have the condoms ready.

Also, I'd say that you'll need to think of lubricants. The anus is not naturally lubricated and so you may experience some discomfort from dryness. There is no point in suffering when there's enough stuff on the market to make your experience, if not pleasurable, at least not uncomfortable. Remember that the anus has two sphincters that need to be relaxed. Sometimes the first one is, but the second innermost one isn't, and putting anything down that passage can be painful if unprepared. Just learn to relax and breathe and use plenty of lube and take your time. Once inserted, your body, or his, will adjust to the girth and shape of your penises.

Lastly, if your friend is inexperienced in anal sex matters, he should be on par with you and enjoy sharing the discovery, so you ought to be able to discuss it. If he IS experienced, then it ought to be him making all the right moves to make YOU enjoy it.

Again, don't do anything that you wouldn't want to do, just to please him. Make sure it is something you really want to do and agree with him about some of the rules you'd like to play this by.

I hope this advice has or will come in handy.

All the best, and enjoy your first experience with this person you cherish. It ought to be a good time.

[fjp999]

I am not sure how my post is all gonna come out :eek: but anal has always kinda disappointed me.

My first sexual partner was older than me and I was only interested in his experience and education. He taught me well and we had a ton of sex. He could get his ass pretty relaxed and because of some messed up hangups I couldnt come unless I masturbated & he would let me f*ck him for hours. That all was pretty good.

Then when I went to bottom he couldnt go very long and it would be over real quick so I never really experienced anal orgasms or stuff like that. I remember watching one of those Bel Ami Trainer vids and they said a bottom was sooo good beaucause it felt like melted butter... maybe that was my problem.

Others I have been with have been my age and the couldnt relax so it was too tight and didnt feel buttery :tongue: and then they too would finish too quickly. Since they never got me going anally I too always felt like I had to make poo but didnt.

Now I prefer toys and fingers much more. You can really relax and take your time then open up. Maybe if youre young enough and want to last longer cum orally first then when ya get hard again go for the anal and go all nite long. Then it gets more into the love making action and not just f*king

good luck and take vids and pics to share with your friends (joke)

[princealbertofb]

I think you may be right Frank, in that anal sex may not be everyone's cup of tea. Some men don't like it at all, and it could be overrated. But it's like most lovemaking, if you do it sloppily, then it's not as enjoyable as when you really put a little effort into pleasuring your partner as you pleasure yourself too. Because of my life history I came to gay sex late in life and I'm not sure what it would have been like when I was younger. But I know I can appreciate the lovely times I have with my special man. He's just adorable and everything is enjoyable with him. So for me, it really is a question of being well sorted and well assorted. It's the right balance between selfishness and giving yourself totally.

[fjp999]

It's the right balance between selfishness and giving yourself totally.

Oh My F*cking God! My dream man is some one who understands when the time to be a slave is perfect and then a time to be King is right but the MOST perfect time is when two men can be both slave and king simultaniously. That give and take is the bliss everyone should strive for in a relationship.

[Dan1089]

I'm almost 25 & still an ass virgin so I'm get ting desperate but I don't want to bottom for all the wrong reasons.I was in a chatroom about a week ago and this guy asked me if I douched or not.I didn't have a single idea of what he was talking so naturally I said "No way" which was followed by an "Ewww!".Is douching a good thing?I've been calling people douchebags since forever so I just assumed it was a bad nasty thing.

[princealbertofb]

I'm almost 25 & still an ass virgin so I'm get ting desperate but I don't want to bottom for all the wrong reasons.I was in a chatroom about a week ago and this guy asked me if I douched or not.I didn't have a single idea of what he was talking so naturally I said "No way" which was followed by an "Ewww!".Is douching a good thing?I've been calling people douchebags since forever so I just assumed it was a bad nasty thing.

A douche, I think, is an enema... Getting rid of excess bits floating about in the rectum and cleaning the inside... But I have read that it is not a good idea to do it too often as it can ultimately make the mucous membrane more fragile. To each his own. And what's more, your intestines will definitely be producing more "bits", as you digest, so nothing like spotless innards is guaranteed...

[Smurlos]

A douche, I think, is an enema... Getting rid of excess bits floating about in the rectum and cleaning the inside... But I have read that it is not a good idea to do it too often as it can ultimately make the mucous membrane more fragile. To each his own. And what's more, your intestines will definitely be producing more "bits", as you digest, so nothing like spotless innards is guaranteed...

Furthermore the intestine apparently actually becomes dependant on enemas in the end in order to rid itself of faeces and so you end up with your natural systems disrupted... so I've read anyhow.

I personally just clean it well when I'm in the bath mile: (still a virgin too haha)

[princealbertofb]

Furthermore the intestine apparently actually becomes dependant on enemas in the end in order to rid itself of faeces and so you end up with your natural systems disrupted... so I've read anyhow.

I personally just clean it well when I'm in the bath mile: (still a virgin too haha)

Well, Smurlos, that's probably a very wise way to go about it... No point in disrupting the poor intestines. They suffer enough as it is, and can be a bit unpredictable.

[fjp999]

My first physical when I turned 40 was in San Francisco and many personal questions were asked including how often I douched. I didnt figure out what they were going on about until I got home and figured that guys were overdoing it and they were seeing damage.

I dread turning 40 and thinking I should get a physical since that is when I learned I had Hep C = sad.