Am I really gay

[BorneoJake]

Hey everybody I'm new to the forums and I could just really use some advice. About a year ago I came out to my family and they have been very supportive and accepting. I just recently came out to a few of my friends and they have been very supportive and great to me as well. Lately I have been embracing my sexuality and have been very inspired to get back into film and make videos. My goal is to make videos to help and inspire people who are gay or feel outcast-ed. I don't want people who are in the closet to feel they are alone in the world, there are people out there who will love you no matter who you are!

With that being said, I must now contradict myself. Lately I have been having a lot of anxiety about relationships. I have never been in one with a guy or a girl so I am very inexperienced and very nervous about it. The emotional and romantic parts I am very excited about but the physical really scares me. I'm afraid I won't like it or what if I'm actually not gay and I like girls instead. Throughout my life I know I have liked guys until this very moment where I feel like I'm confused. I find girls to be very beautiful but I have actually never lusted over a girl before. I feel like my drive is very low right now and I'm just not really in the mood a lot of the time I'm not sure. These feelings manifested ever since I laid eyes on this guy who I have very strong feelings for. I have never felt this way about anyone before and i want to try dating but I'm just very frightened of the physical aspects of it. I've never been really interested in porn it doesn't really turn me on that much. I know I sound like a complaining bitch, but I feel so lonely right now and I could really use some advice.

I feel the need to add this dancing monkey =D

[TheDeac]

I'd say go for a relationship, not a physical, but a real relationship, the physical comes with time and you only have to move as fast as you want. Go on a date, talk to him, get to know him, and when it feels right you'll know, and don't act before your ready

[hank]

Hey, my bisexuality was latent. I was sure I was gay all through my teens and up to the point when I was about 25, I stared dating women I enjoyed it. It didn't make me not like guys anymore, now I simply had a 100% dating pool.

The physical stuff, take your time. Don't do anything you don't want to do. You will find that some guys are patient and will ease into it with you. Also finding the right guy will make you want to experience things with him. It is important that when it gets to that point where things are starting to get physical that you tell your partner that you feel this way. I know that seems frightening but once its out it will be a relief. I can't imagine how exciting it would be to teach a novice how to make love. That would be exiting I personally would find you irresistible at that point. being a sensitive and caring lover mentor would be an amazing thing. I know I am not the only guy that thinks so. There are countless movies and books about that.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

While the word is homosexual there is no emphasis on the sex, thus its not homoSEXual.

These other feelings/emotions you have when it comes to romance/partnership - are you inclined to having those for guys more than girls? If yes then chances are you are a homosexual - welcome to the club.

There was a bit of trepidation when it came to sex between me and my first partner - there were things he wanted to do that I was like 'ew -nasty' at first. But when we did those things... well I got a far different opinion. :biggrin:

I think the worst was when I said out-loud 'You want to stick what, where?!?!?!' - the idea was totally frightening... it may have something to do with his having slightly larger endowment than 'average'... slightly.... No, I think the whole idea just sounded painful and not at all pleasurable. But I was wrong on that... :tongue:

And what about oral, I mean really who wants to put their mouth someplace that pee comes out of - ew - gross.... Right? but once you do it, or have it done to you well your opinion will change - usually vastly... well while aroused at least.

Porn - actually its kinda a good thing to not have too much interest in porn. From what I have seen a lot of porn is 'made up' or 'fantasy', the real act is usually a bit more free style and usually not as 'hot' or impossible as porn.

Now partners and I have used porn as 'educational videos' which lead to experimentation and other things... so in my mind there is a 'useful place' for porn...

I think you are falling well within nominal parameters of the human experience - which is a more correct term than 'normal' because 'normal' often makes us think we 'should do this this way'.

Well until we reach the dancing monkey, now it just got all weird and abnormal - :biggrin:

[MisterTinkles]

You will know what you need to know, when you meet the right person.

[BorneoJake]

Thanks you guys your comments have been very helpful! Yeah I'm just new to the whole dating thing. I'm an extremely shy and sensitive person.

[MisterTinkles]

Thanks you guys your comments have been very helpful! Yeah I'm just new to the whole dating thing. I'm an extremely shy and sensitive person.

I would suggest that since you are shy and sensitive, it might benefit you to learn to "read" people. Learn body language, pick up lines, how to tell if someone may be lying to you or not.....

This will help you in the long run, simply because too many players out there love to use and abuse people who are shy and sensitive. If you can learn how to tell if they are a reliable person or even a decent person in the first few minutes of meeting them, then you have gone a long way to protect yourself in the long run.

Thats not to say you wont make mistakes....we all do that. But just so you dont go getting hurt by every person you meet who may be a player. Once you learn how to "read" people, their expressions, their emotions, and body language, then you can pretty much know what type of person they are by them just walking up to you.

[hank]

Thanks you guys your comments have been very helpful! Yeah I'm just new to the whole dating thing. I'm an extremely shy and sensitive person.

Shy and sensitive are great qualities, some that are quite rare. Sensitivity is a good thing. But to reiterate something another poster said, definitely want to protect yourself.