Boyfriend of 4 years

[CrashTurtle]

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. The first year was long distance because I was still in high school, but as soon as I graduated we moved in together. We had our problems just like in any relationship, but we got through them and adapted to living together. We have taken breaks all throughout our relationship to see other guys. I have always been more successful than he has so I probably dated five other guys, nothing serious, He would sometimes get jealous, but he was mostly a good sport about it. We continued to share the same bed and act like a couple which is why I knew I couldn't love someone else. The other guys kind of faded away into the background and me and my boyfriend would be happy. The guys presence made the sex waaaay better between me and my boyfriend. So now my boyfriend met a guy online, who lives over 1000 miles away. After just a week the guy was already telling me that he was in love with my boyfriend. They have a lot more common interests but their personalities don't compliment one another. My boyfriend is masculine and i'm fem, but we like to do a lot of the same things. They talk to each other, a lot. My boyfriend seems to be getting kinda serious with this guy and even wants to go visit him at the end of summer. We still act like we're together and even have sex, but he just gets sooo excited when he talks to him. I hate it. I'm sooo jealous all the time, but i feel almost like I owe it to him since I put him through the same thing with guys at a close distance. I don't wanna move on, but i feel like I should let him go visit the guy. I feel like if he does then it'll give him the chance to see the good AND the bad that can only be seen when you like someone who lives near you. Since we live together I have to watch as some other guy makes him happy. I do all I can to show him I love him and he notices. He still loves me and wants to be with me, but I don't want to try so hard if it's for nothing. A part of me says that it's definitely NOT going to work because it's long distance and they JUST met so relocating is more or less out of the question right now. What should I do? Should I let him go see this guy? It would kill me inside but if it's the right thing to do...

[Nick9]

Hi,

well you certainly didn't make your situation easy... I really don't know what advice to give you other than

Should I let him go see this guy?

that this is not up to you. It's his decision to make.

[dfiant]

I wish people would learn to write with paragraphs...most couldn't be bothered reading a long story thats nothing more than letters in a washing machine.

Sorry, too difficult to read.

[Eros]

Too much teeeeext

just wait till I finish lol

[Kenny221]

You know what they say... "if it's yours, it'll come back to you."

[CrashTurtle]

Hi,

well you certainly didn't make your situation easy... I really don't know what advice to give you other than

that this is not up to you. It's his decision to make.

He said he wouldn't go if it hurt me that much. Sorry, I should have included that.

[pellaz]

You described your self as:

"Gay Male Couple in a Monogamous Gay Relationship"

Maybe it's the only choice that came close. Sounds like you don't want him to go. Would you go if in his shoes? None the less tell him you don't want him to leave,. What could you give him in return if he stays.

[Kenny221]

Just tell him that you love him but you feel like it wouldnt be fair to limit him like that. I mean 'if it's meant to be then it's meant to be'

[CrashTurtle]

You described your self as:

"Gay Male Couple in a Monogamous Gay Relationship"

Maybe it's the only choice that came close. Sounds like you don't want him to go. Would you go if in his shoes? None the less tell him you don't want him to leave,. What could you give him in return if he stays.

I've tried, and he says it's something he has to do. :\
It's like he's trying to hold on to the both of us.
I wouldn't go, but I would definitely want to.
I feel like if he doesn't go then he'll resent me.
I don't want to hold him back from anything...

[Nick9]

What could you give him in return if he stays.

yes... think about that. Maybe you will realize what your bf is missing and what that guy is giving to him.

If you keep your relationship open, this will happen more often than you will like (and he probably too). You may want to set some rules, or make the relationship monogamous.