06-09-2013, 10:21 PM
Ok so I'll try to explain myself as good as I can and I hope I get some opinions cause I'm pretty unsure of what to do, this could be long so I hope you stay with me till the end haha.
I was talking to this guy on grindr like 4 years younger than me (not for hookup), we talked on whatsapp for some time and he seemed really cute but a bit immature, still we talked about meeting and just hang out for a while the next day since he lived close to me. We met and in person he was cute but not nearly as good looking as in the pictures which always sucks. We walked a bit and it was boring I later understood he was just a bit nervous. Anyways we sat on a park talked and one thing led to another and happens he still had a bf and was supposedly gonna break up with him but which put me off. We kept talking and he got flirty, by this point I thought I wasn't gonna be interested but I decided to play along and well we ended up kissing and it was fun but I left thinking nothing would probably come out of it. Next couple of days he starts talking to me a lot on whatsapp which was a bit annoying at first but I talked back and well he asked if I wanted to stay the night at his place some day I was a bit unsure but I said I would.
The next day he tells me I can come over that night, so I did. At this point I wasn't annoyed talking to him it was fun. Anyways we met and walked around his neighbourhood a while waiting for his parents to go to sleep so we could sneak to his room which was on a different floor. As soon as I saw him when I got there I felt the same I did when I met him, that he wasn't all that good looking which is something I can't get past by if there are no feelings involved. Still, we walked and talked and kissed and it was cute. We managed to get in after some time of waiting and we put some show so we could "talk". We had a lot of fun and I started to like him and I could tell I could fall for him. At some point he mentioned his ex which completely put me off, he had broken up with him that same day but he still felt something towards him I don't even know in what context that came up. I told him maybe he needed some time to think things through and maybe we should just go to sleep but he said sorry and tried over and over again to lift my mood, at first I kinda ignored him but in the end he got me, he's really cute not so much in the way he looks but his personality. We ended up having a lot of fun and cuddled till the next morning.
So it was morning and no one was home, I had to go back to my place and he came with me to the bus stop, we sat there and it was a bit awkward just like the way there had been I couldn't understand why. He then out of the blue said he might need some time, I understood and told him it was ok. On my way back home I just thought maybe he just wasn't worth it, he wasn't completely my type and was a bit too young and immature in some aspects for me but I had definitely developed some feelings after that night. Still I ignored it and we didn't talk.
Next day he texts me good morning so I reply and he's just talking like nothing happened, I say "I thought you needed some time" and he says he does but that we can still talk. It was a bit weird but I said ok cause like I didn't know what he meant if just as friends or more. Anyways for the next couple of days he kept saying good morning and being sweet but I tried to be a bit cold to him cause I didn't think there was a point in being all sweet till he hadn't made a decision. All this time I was just wondering whether I should move on or not, on the one hand I didn't wanna wait for something that wasn't gonna happen cause I just didn't feel good doing so it simply ruined my mood. On the other hand I didn't want to let go of that so easily, or hurt him (cause I thought he had gotten pretty attached from what he'd said but I'm not really sure now).
Friday we were talking and I was a bit pissed off because I wasn't feeling good about what was happening, I was just down overall moodwise. So I figured it was time to tell him something, so I did I said I was waiting because I thought he was really sweet but that I couldn't wait forever and that I was starting to move on which wasn't entirely true because I can't move on till I let go completely but I had thought about doing so. So I asked what he was feeling. He said he wanted to be single for a while because he'd just gotten out of a relationship which I didn't get, did he mean he didn't want to be with anyone, that he wanted to be with a lot of people, that he wanted a fuck buddy, that he didn't want to be with me? So I asked what he meant I said I was ok with not having a serious relationship which I am but that there were things I wasn't gonna do. He asked what I meant so I said I didn't like sharing and that if he was thinking about being with other guys then it just wasn't gonna be with me. So he said he was ok with not being with other people.
I decided it was ok to just stay with him and see what happens. So between Friday and today we talked a bit but I thought about not talking to him anymore a few times. So anyways reasons come up everyday from stupid things to more serious ones but I still don't know if its worth it, so here's my main points, and maybe I'm giving this too much thought but that's just the way I am haha.
At my school some of my close friends left and my best guy friend got a girlfriend so I barely see him anymore. So basically I'm pretty alone all the time which has never bothered me but it's nice to have someone to be with, to talk to, to hug, to kiss, even if it's not in a serious relationship. Plus I don't really have gay friends so it's been hard for me to meet guys and I have had dated and even loved I would say but I know it's not easy for me to find someone to spend time with. He's fun to be with and I like him but I don't know if he's worth it, he seems the kind of guy who likes or rather seems to have drama around him which I don't like. Today and yesterday I texted him that I wanted to meet and today he said he couldn't, I didn't reply but he just basically said that. Now a few minutes ago he sends me a text asking about something I told him I was doing and not to worry that we would meet this week but I didn't feel like answering. I just don't know if he's worth it, I know I could just move on because its not like I have strong feelings for him but I kinda don't want to be alone at the moment specially in summer I'd get pretty bored without my friends and someone to spend time with.
So basically it comes down to choosing between being alone and look for someone else or keep trying with him? Or keep trying with him while I look for someone else? Which I would feel a bit bad for doing...
If you got this far then go ahead that means you were interested enough in the story so tell me what you think I should do hahaha
I was talking to this guy on grindr like 4 years younger than me (not for hookup), we talked on whatsapp for some time and he seemed really cute but a bit immature, still we talked about meeting and just hang out for a while the next day since he lived close to me. We met and in person he was cute but not nearly as good looking as in the pictures which always sucks. We walked a bit and it was boring I later understood he was just a bit nervous. Anyways we sat on a park talked and one thing led to another and happens he still had a bf and was supposedly gonna break up with him but which put me off. We kept talking and he got flirty, by this point I thought I wasn't gonna be interested but I decided to play along and well we ended up kissing and it was fun but I left thinking nothing would probably come out of it. Next couple of days he starts talking to me a lot on whatsapp which was a bit annoying at first but I talked back and well he asked if I wanted to stay the night at his place some day I was a bit unsure but I said I would.
The next day he tells me I can come over that night, so I did. At this point I wasn't annoyed talking to him it was fun. Anyways we met and walked around his neighbourhood a while waiting for his parents to go to sleep so we could sneak to his room which was on a different floor. As soon as I saw him when I got there I felt the same I did when I met him, that he wasn't all that good looking which is something I can't get past by if there are no feelings involved. Still, we walked and talked and kissed and it was cute. We managed to get in after some time of waiting and we put some show so we could "talk". We had a lot of fun and I started to like him and I could tell I could fall for him. At some point he mentioned his ex which completely put me off, he had broken up with him that same day but he still felt something towards him I don't even know in what context that came up. I told him maybe he needed some time to think things through and maybe we should just go to sleep but he said sorry and tried over and over again to lift my mood, at first I kinda ignored him but in the end he got me, he's really cute not so much in the way he looks but his personality. We ended up having a lot of fun and cuddled till the next morning.
So it was morning and no one was home, I had to go back to my place and he came with me to the bus stop, we sat there and it was a bit awkward just like the way there had been I couldn't understand why. He then out of the blue said he might need some time, I understood and told him it was ok. On my way back home I just thought maybe he just wasn't worth it, he wasn't completely my type and was a bit too young and immature in some aspects for me but I had definitely developed some feelings after that night. Still I ignored it and we didn't talk.
Next day he texts me good morning so I reply and he's just talking like nothing happened, I say "I thought you needed some time" and he says he does but that we can still talk. It was a bit weird but I said ok cause like I didn't know what he meant if just as friends or more. Anyways for the next couple of days he kept saying good morning and being sweet but I tried to be a bit cold to him cause I didn't think there was a point in being all sweet till he hadn't made a decision. All this time I was just wondering whether I should move on or not, on the one hand I didn't wanna wait for something that wasn't gonna happen cause I just didn't feel good doing so it simply ruined my mood. On the other hand I didn't want to let go of that so easily, or hurt him (cause I thought he had gotten pretty attached from what he'd said but I'm not really sure now).
Friday we were talking and I was a bit pissed off because I wasn't feeling good about what was happening, I was just down overall moodwise. So I figured it was time to tell him something, so I did I said I was waiting because I thought he was really sweet but that I couldn't wait forever and that I was starting to move on which wasn't entirely true because I can't move on till I let go completely but I had thought about doing so. So I asked what he was feeling. He said he wanted to be single for a while because he'd just gotten out of a relationship which I didn't get, did he mean he didn't want to be with anyone, that he wanted to be with a lot of people, that he wanted a fuck buddy, that he didn't want to be with me? So I asked what he meant I said I was ok with not having a serious relationship which I am but that there were things I wasn't gonna do. He asked what I meant so I said I didn't like sharing and that if he was thinking about being with other guys then it just wasn't gonna be with me. So he said he was ok with not being with other people.
I decided it was ok to just stay with him and see what happens. So between Friday and today we talked a bit but I thought about not talking to him anymore a few times. So anyways reasons come up everyday from stupid things to more serious ones but I still don't know if its worth it, so here's my main points, and maybe I'm giving this too much thought but that's just the way I am haha.
At my school some of my close friends left and my best guy friend got a girlfriend so I barely see him anymore. So basically I'm pretty alone all the time which has never bothered me but it's nice to have someone to be with, to talk to, to hug, to kiss, even if it's not in a serious relationship. Plus I don't really have gay friends so it's been hard for me to meet guys and I have had dated and even loved I would say but I know it's not easy for me to find someone to spend time with. He's fun to be with and I like him but I don't know if he's worth it, he seems the kind of guy who likes or rather seems to have drama around him which I don't like. Today and yesterday I texted him that I wanted to meet and today he said he couldn't, I didn't reply but he just basically said that. Now a few minutes ago he sends me a text asking about something I told him I was doing and not to worry that we would meet this week but I didn't feel like answering. I just don't know if he's worth it, I know I could just move on because its not like I have strong feelings for him but I kinda don't want to be alone at the moment specially in summer I'd get pretty bored without my friends and someone to spend time with.
So basically it comes down to choosing between being alone and look for someone else or keep trying with him? Or keep trying with him while I look for someone else? Which I would feel a bit bad for doing...
If you got this far then go ahead that means you were interested enough in the story so tell me what you think I should do hahaha
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Scorpio
