Wow, I'm an Idiot

[Grey]

So it's me again, with a problem (shocking I know). Those of you who have read my posts know that I just got out of a nine year abusive relationship, and things are starting to calm down. Maybe my ex has gotten the point, because I haven't had any threats lately. Anyway, let me explain that I know I do not need to date right now, or for a very long time. Sure I'm lonely as hell, but I know its a bad idea. The problem I have is that my stupid ass has fallen head over heels in love with this guy. I know that my emotions are all over the place right now, and that probably has helped me become overly attached to him. Oh, did I mention I can never have him? Yeah... Anyway, I tried to hide it, which didn't work. Now both he and his bf know about my feelings and they are fine with it. This guy is my best friend, and I don't want to lose that, but every time his bf is mentioned I get so jealous I can't stand it! Worse part? I'm pretty sure if he was single he'd feel exactly the same way for me that I do for him, which just makes it all the more painful. I've seriously thought about just never speaking to him again, because I literally can't stand how painful it is to be in love with him, but I really don't want to have to do that. So basically what I am looking for are ideas on how to get over someone short of just walking away. Did I mention this is killing me? Am I just an idiot or has this ever happened to anyone else?

[TimeSage]

The awnser is a threesomes *sagenods* (This is a joke post)

[pellaz]

talk it over with the two of them. along the lines you never want to see them, you want a three some, you want to be just friends. just talk to them.

try whoring around, short of getting a STD. might take your mind off things and sounds like its time you could do this for your self.

i think you should be up front with the people who you meet and select them as someone that could add to your life. Be as broad minded as you can but write down the attributes you are looking for and dont go outside your circle.

Automatically toss the straight or partnered men to the curb.

[MisterTinkles]

Cuz sometimes people just need it.

[TomStatic]

Yeah your best bet is to talk with the guy first and see if he can try help u get over him, if not the best way is to just keep doing things that distract u, go to concerts watch loads of movies, hope u figure it out man

[devahn8]

Try focusing on his flaws, and exaggerate them to yourself so they look unbearable. It's worked for me

[MisterLove]

Definitely not an idiot, you're just a sweet bunny with a big heart.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Definitely do NOT do whoring around - you are in way too vulnerable position and any guy who shows you any kindness you will fall for.

This is what most likely already has happened with this fellow, you are starved for kindness so a little kindness makes you all clingy and wanting more kindness. It is typical behaviors for people who have been abused.

Unfortunately other abusers will use that against you if given half a chance, they will exploit that, manipulate you and get you all hooked on them, then they turn around and do more damage. It can be a vicious cycle - ask your therapist.

I would prefer you take up some other hobby - say Swimming? Hiking? Crochet? Anything that will consume time and cause you to lose yourself doing all on your own without having to rely on a supporting cast.

Wood working, model train set building, stamp collecting, oil/water painting, leather crafting, archery - lots and lots of potentials out there that can occupy your time, provide you with a reasonable challenge and keep your brain active on anything else than Men, BF's, the Ex, this fella - whoever.

[LateBloomer]

Definitely do NOT do whoring around - you are in way too vulnerable position and any guy who shows you any kindness you will fall for.

This is what most likely already has happened with this fellow, you are starved for kindness so a little kindness makes you all clingy and wanting more kindness. It is typical behaviors for people who have been abused.

Unfortunately other abusers will use that against you if given half a chance, they will exploit that, manipulate you and get you all hooked on them, then they turn around and do more damage. It can be a vicious cycle - ask your therapist.

I would prefer you take up some other hobby - say Swimming? Hiking? Crochet? Anything that will consume time and cause you to lose yourself doing all on your own without having to rely on a supporting cast.

Wood working, model train set building, stamp collecting, oil/water painting, leather crafting, archery - lots and lots of potentials out there that can occupy your time, provide you with a reasonable challenge and keep your brain active on anything else than Men, BF's, the Ex, this fella - whoever.

Yes.

My first reaction to this post was, "This kid has too much free time on his hands."



Definitely get busy with a project or work or volunteer, SOMETHING!