I'm Tired

[Geminize]

Instead of calling ten places a hundred times, call a hundred places ten times. That's more likely to work. It may sound trite, but try to remember that every 'no' gets you closer to the next 'yes'.

Times are hard, but not as hard as they were at many other times in the past. Find some friends who can help you focus on moving forward. Your life is worth the effort. As Solemnboy said, PM me if you need a little boost. I have my own issues, but I can give you a different perspective on yours.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Only Human,

First welcome to the boards.

Second, I take it you didn't attend AA or NA to get clean and sober, of it you did you were like me and were too busy gossiping in the back row to listen to the shares (shameless I know).:tongue:

However, our 'little problem' often does severe damage with trust from those around us, as such while we may swear off the drug/alcohol and swear to be turning over a new leaf, our drug/alcohol personality made it perfectly clear that we were unable (or unwilling) to be a sincere/nice/compassionate/selfless/trustworthy/whatever else applies type of person.

Trust is a hard one to regain even in the best of circumstances. It will take time, sometimes years, to regain the trust that was freely given to us while we were boozing and/or drugging it up.

And there will be a few people who will feel the betrayal is too large that they can't give trust back to you ever. It happens. Its all part of the 'wreckage' of a sordid past.

Job. Welcome to the Economy of the 21st century. The world is still in the fall out phase of the crashes of the first decade of this century. Sure Wall Street is booming, but that is a false front, most likely yet one more bubble that will burst.

Jobs are tight, and I hate to tell you this, but being a 17 year old in the job market is a negative. 17 isn't an 'adult' in the minds of many who are looking for more 'mature' employees. This is not your fault, its the fault of a society who's trolly jumped the tracks oh 50 or so years ago.

Friends - I have no idea what your definition that word is, I do know that most people in today's society thinks a friend is someone who likes you on Facebook and makes a friend request.

Real friends are far and few between, sort of like marriages - without sex, wedding rings and the like. Well sex is iffy now days...

These people you have in your life you call friends, were they part of the drug/alcohol situation - meaning they partied with you? If so, you may be learning that party friends are not really friends, they are party people and have no real place in a 'serious' sober/clean life style.

If not party people, then it is possible that they don't know how to be a 'real' friend, or we may be back to the start of my post where I talk about how wreckage means we lost a lot of trust which requires a lot of work and time to regain.

Since you do have both Alcohol and Drug 'issues' Might I suggest finding an AA meeting or three in your general area? http://www.aa.org/lang/en/central_office...d%20States OR http://www.theagapecenter.com/AAinUSA/Michigan.htm

Why AA? I personally found that there were a lot more old timers in AA than in NA. I also discovered that NA tends to have a lot more active users, I mean guys who just did a line or slammed the night before and are coming down. If you do not have a few years under your belt it is real easy to relapse.

While you may not feel you can take anything away from a 12 step program, the very least that will happen is you will meet other people who have been where you are now, people who know exactly how much hard work it is to get back that trust our addict/alcoholic side lost for us.

It will also give you a bit of know-who. Like I said, in AA there tend to be a lot of old timers - people who have a decade or more clean and sober time, people who have accomplished the task of cleaning up their wreckage and have resources that may actually help you to get your toe in a few doors.

Oh and then there is getting a whole new set of friends who relate and understand what it is you are dealing with. New friends who's trust you haven't shattered.

[OnlyHuman]

thank you all for the advice harsh or otherwise. I do see now that I should just take it one step at a time and worry about me and not the outside world. In terms of jobs I think I'll just take a break from looking and enjoy what time I do have left before getting one is necessary. I'll give that volunteering a try since what's the worst that could happen. As far as the friend thing I'll just let them go and make new ones since they just like to play the game of being mean to one another and what not. I'll let time heal what wounds I've given other and such. It's time to move forward and relax a bit. Thanks again many times over. :biggrin:

[LONDONER]

OK, Good luck for your future. Be positive.