Why are y'all so surprised? Lol, thought I was just here to look pretty and Sassy?
Actually, it's a quote from Madea, in which Tyler adlibbed into the story line at the end of a play and I just love it. And it goes well with my Sis Maya Angelou's quote "If someone shows you who they are, believe them".
And Tinkies, I am not an Asshole hunni or Asshoe, but am just real, let's not get it twisted sweetie  . I've spent too much of my life letting peepz get the best of me and conforming, so as I advised Mr.Cardigan, I built walls for my emotions and stopped conforming.
Be real honey, no body wants a knock-off :/
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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MisterTinkles Wrote:Good for you.
Now, if you can find me 100 more like you, I can change my opinion a bit.
oh, thus is your opinion. That explains a lot. Yeah, you are entitled to your opinion. nobody can fault you for that. I am sure that this opinion developed due to some experience. That is right you already said that.
So I must address the people that have given you hell over this. Its his opinion, regardless of how it feels to be marginalized by his words they are based on an opinion that I am sue took a lifetime to develop. Don't be offended by opinion, its just opinion done people think that lesbians, gay, bisexuals, and transgendered people are the spawn of satan himself. This can't get you down or offend you. They are likely to never change that opinion no matter how much you yell and scream. You can't change peoples thoughts
Back to you tinkles, i am sure you don't hate bisexual men you just have an opinion about them. So nobody should be heaping the BS on you.
I have plenty of opinions that are likely not very popular here also I am sure everybody does.
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Yes! This used to happen to me, quite a bit, back in my late teens/early 20's. It was one of the reasons I took as long as I did to come out. But nowadays I'm solidly in the "gay" camp, rarely if ever fantasizing about women. Sometimes I'll see a pretty one walking by and be like "wow, she's really beautiful!" but that's kinda it.
It's also why I think that recent research into sexual orientation fluidity is incorrect - researchers claim it's "real" in women, but not men - but when you actually look at how they define "bisexual" and how men and women differ in how they experience bisexuality, it's a very narrow definition. I hope future studies shed more light on this aspect of humanity sexuality.
Either way, I hope you find a way to experience your unique sexuality in happy, healthy ways (maybe polyamory is for you? Try different things out, see what works!).
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LateBloomer Wrote:I like "try-sexual".
I'll "try" anything.
Dont you mean Try-O-sexual?
Try anything once?
ObW
X
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Drew Wrote:Yes! This used to happen to me, quite a bit, back in my late teens/early 20's. It was one of the reasons I took as long as I did to come out. But nowadays I'm solidly in the "gay" camp, rarely if ever fantasizing about women. Sometimes I'll see a pretty one walking by and be like "wow, she's really beautiful!" but that's kinda it.
It's also why I think that recent research into sexual orientation fluidity is incorrect - researchers claim it's "real" in women, but not men - but when you actually look at how they define "bisexual" and how men and women differ in how they experience bisexuality, it's a very narrow definition. I hope future studies shed more light on this aspect of humanity sexuality.
Either way, I hope you find a way to experience your unique sexuality in happy, healthy ways (maybe polyamory is for you? Try different things out, see what works!).
I don't think polyamory is right for me. I want a special person in my life. I could commit and at that time I would be gay or straight depending on their gender. But placing a label like gay or straight on me isn't right because I am nether. When i commit to that person I will commit my sexuality to them. buy saying one or the other closes doors. Very few are currently open. So I can't and i won't commit to only ever loving women or men and deciding now before I meet anybody seems like shooting myself in the foot. I wish to explore and see which I like more. In the emotional side I feel more drawn to men. Men seem moor kind and loving and open. But on the side of long term and life time I see women. This may just be my naive inexperience I may find a woman that can live like nobody else. I may find a guy that would stand by my side in everything through every obstacle. I don't know. I can love just about anybody. I can't love sometime that can't love me. The configuration of genitalia doesn't seem as important as that other part I am seeking.
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The reality is that I don't need both. Just right now with no commitment i don't see why I should commit to a team. Can't I just enjoy the game and choose my side when that choice comes?
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hank Wrote:The reality is that I don't need both. Just right now with no commitment i don't see why I should commit to a team. Can't I just enjoy the game and choose my side when that choice comes?
Yes.
It's your life, until you share it with someone else. Then you're obligated to be open and honest with them--and only them. It's nobody else's business unless you choose to include them too.
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hank Wrote:The reality is that I don't need both. Just right now with no commitment i don't see why I should commit to a team. Can't I just enjoy the game and choose my side when that choice comes?
Yes you may do that.
I fear society will force you to take the 'I'm gay/I'm straight' stance when you do find that one special person just to keep it all from being complicated and to keep you from having to waste your breath educating the people.
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MisterTinkles Wrote:Ive seen some "drop dead" gorgeous women in my time, but I appreciate them for what they are....
works of human art.
For love and companionship, as well as other things, I (and always have ) prefer men.
I agree with dfiant.
Bisexuals are just people who cant commit to their own true feelings, for whatever reason.
Judging all people by your own yardstick? That's a bit one-sided and not all that useful, MrT.... Try again. 
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WOW! It took me a LONG time to get through the 7 pages of posts! Seems this is a hot topic - tho i'm a bit confused on how many side conversations were spawned off the original post (kind of a shame because those sub-topics really took away from the original post).
All that said, i'd like to weigh in on the question (and follow-up question) - in reverse! ahaha
Q: Can you be "gay" if you're a virgin?
A: The short answer is YES! You only need to meet or read about kids age 9, 10, 11 who have come out to their parents, yet they have never been sexually active. Now, there's also the reality that there are MANY folks like you HANK, who go thru their pre-teens, teen-age years and into young adulthood without fully understanding and accepting their "orientation."
The frustrating thing with this for many folks who are still "questioning" their orientation is the feeling like they have to "choose" who they "are" and that falls in conflict with all the discussions surrounding homosexuality in general - that being gay is GENETIC and not a choice! I know it feels like you've got one foot on both sides of a line - and that's 100% normal!
Look, hopefully this might help - it worked for me in my life. It's my belief that in our deepest parts of our soul - our spirit - that which is individually sacred - we ALL know the gender of of our life-mate. The challenge is that getting to that deeper self is often densely wrapped up in life experience, family values, religious dogma and, of course, all the external forces pile on (media, education system, cultural norms, etc).
For many of us, the time from when we were able to comprehend physical (and slightly sexual) attractions (ages 7-12) to the time we finally DO SEE the gender of our future mate (fully embrace one's orientation), using the term "bisexual" is a relatively safe place to be. It buys us time to explore, discuss and gain more life experience - and even some sexual experience.
Yea, it can be a heated and divisive topic: bisexuality - but it's often better to be THERE then to "think" you're str8 or think you're "gay" and then discover the opposite is true. And while very few "gay" folks have come out as actually being "str8" there are millions of men and women who grow up and "choose" to identify as str8 only to come out as gay years or decades after they've lived a life as a str8 person.
So, if a person is still exploring their inner self - and who and what will bring them true happiness for the rest of their life (as it applies to finding a life-mate) - identifying as bi is fine.
Now, there's an additional definition of bisexual - and it's PURELY about sexual activity!
There are MILLIONS of men and women all over the world who ARE in very happy heterosexual relationships (and can also being single) , but who also can - and do - engage in sexual contact with BOTH genders. This kind of bisexual is one who is NOT questioning their core orientation. They know who they are and the gender of their life-mate, but when it comes to having sex - they have no problems with both genders. FOR THESE TYPES OF BISEXUALS, BEING BI IS NOT ABOUT LOVE - IT'S ABOUT SEX. And, as long as their all consenting adults - this is healthy!
So, hopefully separating the two types of "bisexuality" will help you feel more at ease with the word and where you are in your life right now.
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