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Confused, not a predator
#1
Well, here I sit, a month into my 60th year and still as confused about who I am today as I was 55 years ago. Let me go back to the beginning, when my parents wed, my dad was 22 and my mom was 15, yes, you heard right. I came along exactly 9 months later, and although I never had any solid proof, I believe my parents blamed me for them not having much of a life together “before the kid came along.” There are 9 years between myself and my brother, when people would ask them why it took 9 years to have another kid, mom would say: “Billy was an accident and it took us 9 years to figure out what caused it!” Funny, huh? Not to a 9 - 10 year old! One of the main factors in having problems defining myself was the fact that my parents moved around a lot, so I never developed the skills for making friends. In the 6 years of elementary school, I went to 8 different schools! One for only a week! I was also quite small or petite for my age and pale skinned and to add more confusion, my mom let my hair get long, which was also curly, so people thought I was a girl and mom didn’t discourage it.
At one school, that I attended, most of the kids walked to and from school, I always walked alone. I remember one morning, I overheard a boy I didn’t know telling his friends that his brother licked his weenie. They asked if he said what it tasted like and he said “mashed potatoes.” I thought, “That doesn’t sound too bad.” That was about the 4ht grade, around the 5th grade, I had become friends with a boy around the corner from us. Sometime around the summer between the 5th & 6th grades, he came over one day and asked if wanted to hang out at his place. His parents were gone and we went to his room, I don’t remember why, but I remember him going to his bed, laying down, pulling out his cock and started masturbating. He asked if I ever did it, and I said I had. He asked if anything came out, which it hadn’t and he said his brother told him something would come out it someday. Sounded weird at the time, but soon discovered what and really enjoyed it. That was a close to anything sexual I had for several years.
When I was 15, I had watched several of the old roman gladiator/Christian movies and decided I liked the way their hair was cut. I went to countless barber shops and no one could cut it like that. Finally, I was telling a friend about it, and told me to see his uncle who was a barber. He didn’t do the cut, but he knew someone who did. Grady worked at a ladies beauty shop, but I went in and talked with him about it. He said he could do it, it was a Grecian cut, but at that time, men could get their hair cut in a beauty shop. He said I could go to his house and would do it. My mom had gone in with me and after we left, she kept talking about what a “fag” he was. I had no clue what she was talking about, so she explained it. I still did quite get the concept, but when my dad took me to Grady’s house, he offered to take me back home so my dad didn’t have to wait around. Even though he was married and had a kid, dad refused to go, trying to protect me. I realized while I was there what mom was talking about, he really did act a lot like girl, but he seemed nice enough and he was married.
Part 2 coming soon
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