I feel nothing for him - what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating this pretty nice guy for over a month. My initial reasoning for agreeing to be with him was the fact I wanted companionship. It was nice at first, but as the high is wearing off, I realize now that I'm almost just stringing him along. I feel nothing for him other than a mild friendship, and I'm beginning to feel like a terrible person. Now, I imagine most people would simply break up with the person, but I find it difficult to do so. He's really sweet but really sensitive and is going through a rough patch in his life and I really don't want to make things worse for him. But at the same time, I don't want to stay in a relationship where I feel nothing for them. I've always lived by the belief that one should take care of themselves before they can take care of another, but I find it difficult right now. I don't want to hurt him and I feel like I need to protect him.
Any advice?

[Nick9]

My first thought was, break up with him.

If you don't want to... What about telling him that you would like to take it more slowly, to stay close, to see each other as often as you do now, minus kissing etc?
You would need to find a reason, not to made up one and tell him lies.

It's difficult to give you such an advice... You could also pull away slightly, let him slowly figure it out and get used to the idea.

[pellaz]

are you ready for a relationship, not a bad if you are not

[Merc]

If you don't feel anything for him and don't believe that will change, then I would suggest breaking it off. I understand your reasoning for sticking around, but doing so can cause more pain in the long run.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Learn him a good lesson, rip his heart out, throw it to the ground and jump up and down on it while laughing manically...

Which means break up with him as nicely as you want. The reality is he is going to feel that that in the previous paragraph is what is happening.

All break ups hurt the person who is involved/emotionally invested. There is no 'nice' way or 'easy' way to break a heart. Its going to be nasty, its going to be cruel and it is going to hurt him (you, not so much, you are not emotionally invested).

The alternative is meaner, nastier and crueler - if you have nothing to give him in the way of emotions and you string him along, then when you do eventually walk away in disgust or fly off the handle one day over some silly little thing because you have built up this huge resentment, its going to hurt him a hella lot more.

Right now he has invested only a month, the more time you spend 'together' the more invested he becomes and if he really is into you and is depending on you for emotional support, the longer this goes on the more horrible a break-up will be.


Be honest with him. Tell him what you told us...

And you need to take a lesson from this as well. Companionship in the disguise of a relationship hurts people. If you want a companion get a dog - or find a nice guy to be just a friend with. Leading people to believe there is a change/hope at love and relationships is 'bad' for business, hurtful and ultimately leads to your looking like a monster to that person when you break it off.

[Jashi]

Time weighs heavy the longer you wait. Like everyone said, be honest with him and let it out nicely. Best to catch it before the sunsets. It may be difficult for the guy, but it would harder later on. But if you do seen friendship in him, hold it up and be there for him. Something like this is not easy for anyone.