Playing around first

[devahn8]

I hear lots of people saying that you should play around and have fun in your early 20's before getting into a serious relationship. But what if you don't have the desire to play around. I mean I had commitment issues, but found out that playing around isn't as fun as a relationship, and I'm like 20. So just wanna know what you guys feel about playing around at first, cuz I feel like it should just be left to people who want to and who don't crave intimacy.

[megumidesu]

it's not for everyone ~
i know quite a lot of people who didn't "play the field" and got settled into relationships relatively young . i could probably include myself in that ...

[VileKyle]

If you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it. I have a low sex drive, so I never had the urge to play around with anyone. I don't regret it.

[NayNay]

I sort of played the field a little bit when i was 18-20 but after that i wanted a relationship. I have a high sex drive and as long as my partner does, then its fine.

Everyone is different, I dont think you need to fool around in your 20s just for the sake that we are young. I dont like that excuse. Its like going by what society expects you to do rather than doing what you are comfortable with.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I didn't sleep around until my 30's, and then that was only 2 one night stands to see if my attitude had changed on the whole Relationship Vs Promiscuity thing. Nope, I'm hardwired to enjoy sex inside a relationship - I need structure I suppose. Prior to that I was only in it for relationships. And I was in 'short term' relationships, 2 years, 11 months, 2 year... 6 relationships, 8 sex partners - that is practically virginity in this modern day and age.:eek:

If you don't feel a need to go out and sow wild oats, that's perfectly fine. If you need a relationship to be satisfied with sex, or something along those lines, then stick to your needs.

However be a bit realistic, you are in your 20's - the things we think we know about the world at age 20 are often very much different about what we have learned by age 30. People do a lot of changing in their 20's, finding out who they are, what they want in life. thus a relationship started in your early 20's may not fit your needs in your early 30's.

A relationship started today or next year may actually end up going south in a few years simply because you and your partner are still on the seriously steep learning curve part of your first decade as an adult.

I will confess there are a few opportunities I now regret not taking. I didn't take risks when it came to matters of love as often as I may most likely should have. I think Bradley is my biggest regret.....

So do keep your options open, don't get dead set on marrying for life, or finding 'Mr. Right' right off the bat. And don't go hog wild and do every guy that walks into your life either if that is not your cup of tea. Find that middle ground that works best for you.

I do strongly suggest you party - a little, and explore the world - a lot. Do get drunk enough to do something stupid at least once, but not hundreds of times a year. Do have a bit of fun and enjoy your youthful body before it betrays you and starts complaining if you stay up past midnight.

So some wild oats... just to see if you like wild oats.

[KawaiiKitty]

yeah I agree with what BA said over all.

I think the thing you have to ask yourself is do you think you will be happy with the person youre in a relationship with in 10 or 20 or 40 years? If not then enjoy it while it lasts or break it off and sow your wild oats. If you truly think its the real deal, that you could love them for the rest of your life, then stick with it! True love is a rare thing to find in this world indeed. When we find it we should grab onto it and squeeze it tightly and keep it close to our hearts.

[devahn8]

I didn't sleep around until my 30's, and then that was only 2 one night stands to see if my attitude had changed on the whole Relationship Vs Promiscuity thing. Nope, I'm hardwired to enjoy sex inside a relationship - I need structure I suppose. Prior to that I was only in it for relationships. And I was in 'short term' relationships, 2 years, 11 months, 2 year... 6 relationships, 8 sex partners - that is practically virginity in this modern day and age.:eek:

If you don't feel a need to go out and sow wild oats, that's perfectly fine. If you need a relationship to be satisfied with sex, or something along those lines, then stick to your needs.

However be a bit realistic, you are in your 20's - the things we think we know about the world at age 20 are often very much different about what we have learned by age 30. People do a lot of changing in their 20's, finding out who they are, what they want in life. thus a relationship started in your early 20's may not fit your needs in your early 30's.

A relationship started today or next year may actually end up going south in a few years simply because you and your partner are still on the seriously steep learning curve part of your first decade as an adult.

I will confess there are a few opportunities I now regret not taking. I didn't take risks when it came to matters of love as often as I may most likely should have. I think Bradley is my biggest regret.....

So do keep your options open, don't get dead set on marrying for life, or finding 'Mr. Right' right off the bat. And don't go hog wild and do every guy that walks into your life either if that is not your cup of tea. Find that middle ground that works best for you.

I do strongly suggest you party - a little, and explore the world - a lot. Do get drunk enough to do something stupid at least once, but not hundreds of times a year. Do have a bit of fun and enjoy your youthful body before it betrays you and starts complaining if you stay up past midnight.

So some wild oats... just to see if you like wild oats.

Ey don't get me wrong. I do have fun and drink and let loose and hook up at times. It's just that if I'm with someone that I really want to be with I'd be commited. But I see what you're saying. I guess I can be romantic without being concerned about Mr Right.

[BorneoJake]

I can't really say I haven't ever tried playing around. Thinking about it though, it doesn't really seem like something I would do. I would much rather have a close connection with someone special then just have a fling with someone. This being said, I have no judgement what so ever on people who do like to play around and experiment. Its there life and clearly none of my business what they do.

[Juniorlove]

I've hooked up a lot actually and i'm 20. So I did all of that at a quite young age from 16+(I don't regret any of it) Honestly I'm already tired of it and looking for something stable. I was the type that connected emotionally to whoever I had sex to, so I wanted to see them more than once and it just didn't work out that way. I'm the family type, I want someone who I can see and interact with on an emotional level. That's just me. Trust your instincts and ask yourself what you REALLY want.

[Undreamt]

playing around early can help your relationship later.

I think its important in any relationship to have a healthy sex life, and if you only know one or two positions then it can be difficult to keep things interesting.

Its better to find out now what you like and what you don't like because its alot harder to experiment once your in a committed long term relationship.

If your fooling around with someone and they surprise you with something that you really don't like it can be hard to forget about it and continue the relationship. If you're already experienced and can steer things in the direction that you prefer things can go a lot more smoothly.