can't get hard in a rubber

[NIghtbringer]

Hey guys I can't get hard in a condom, I put it on and it goes loose. It's my new partner, and he doesn't wanna do bareback cuz he says he still doesn't know me, and that's understandable. Any suggestions? Maybe pills?

[LateBloomer]

Hey guys I can't get hard in a condom, I put it on and it goes loose. It's my new partner, and he doesn't wanna do bareback cuz he says he still doesn't know me, and that's understandable. Any suggestions? Maybe pills?

Let him put it on...

...with his mouth.



I hate condoms too. But if you need it, you need it. Try to incorporate it into the sex act, rather than stopping things, "hold on a sec, while I fumble with this stupid wrapper, shit I can't get it open, you try..."

It might take a few times of messing around until you start to think of the condom as fun.

[MisterLove]

This is extremely common, many guys lose their erection while putting a condom.

LateBloomer is right: it's an awkward situation, it's distracting and it may cause some anxiety (adrenaline is an erection killer), so it's only natural that most men lose their erection. Why don't you ask your bf to put it on you?

Don't go for the pills, not just yet. Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Zyprima, etc. are very effective but they're prescription drugs and should only be taken under the supervision of a doctor (urologist).

[pellaz]

get to know your partner is important but also be aware of the types of testing and the required incubation periods required to get an accurate test. Clinically thats the time you got to wait.

If all else fails use the pills

[TomStatic]

yeah maybe go to a test center together and then he can see your results and u can see his

[Undreamt]

could be that your not used to the pressure, maybe try by yourself or a ring to get used to it

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You and your partner really need to work on the 'foreplay' and utilizing the environment and the props to the fullest advantage.

Kneeling and stopping in the middle of the action to roll on a condom is 'boring'. Laying on your back with your hands behind your head and having your partner slowly, teasingly 'dress' the member is far more much fun...

Google it: Fun things to do while putting on a condom

As for bare-backing. You two can get tested together, most cities and town have a Public Health department that will run the full gambit of tests to insure your saftey.

His stance with a condom over bareback may be more related to trust issues and once he is more certain that you are 1. Monogamous 2. Disease clean, he most likely will want bare-backing over condom use.

[Samdabisa]

it's happened to me as well, as I put the condom on, I went limp mainly because I was so incredibly nervous. However, once I got over the nervousness, I was fine and able to put on the condom. take your time, get comfortable sexually with each other

[MisterLove]

it's happened to me as well, as I put the condom on, I went limp mainly because I was so incredibly nervous. [...]

This is extremely common and nothing to worry about.

When you get anxious, adrenaline and other chemicals in your body constrict peripheral blood circulation. This is called 'fight or flight response' and it is a perfectly normal biological reaction, it's not ED.

In these cases, I believe men should try to find natural ways to control their anxiety levels. Getting some sleep or a hot shower just before sex can do wonders: the hot water will relax you and dilate the vessels that bring blood into the penis.

If this happens too often, go see a doctor (urologist). It's no shame to seek professional help and self medication is always a risk. I suffered from sexual performance anxiety for many years until I decided to consult a urologist. Today I have no anxiety and my sex life is perfectly normal.

[Wade]

I have the same problem. I can't get hard when you put on a rubber either.



...I'm so sorry. Seriously, there's something wrong with me.