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Interesting Experience
I met a guy at a club Saturday night and he was really cute. In fact I had some pretty strong feelings so we were kissing and hugging before you knew it. Long story short, I ended up bringing him home with me. He was kind of annoying on the way home but I knew I was ready. We got to my place and talked for a while and then he climbed on me and started kissing. We ended up in the bedroom and played around.

Now here's the interesting part, I wanted him and this would be my first experience ever. For some strange reason, he didn't take his underwear off but I was excited to see him in them and we began feeling on each other. Sadly, I couldn't get hard and he didn't seem to be getting hard either. It seemed to be a lot of work and we just called it a night.

When we woke up we played a little more but I still couldn't get off. After playing some more I notice that he was hard and I was getting there but We had to leave because he had to work that day. Has this happened to you? What does this mean? He wasn't the most attractive guy but I was actually ready, or at least I thought I was. It was an opportunity but it just didn't work. It kind of scared me because I totally get hard ons easily and can get off by myself easy too.


It can also depend on mood, you can be mentally into something but not emotionally or physically.

I have recently been finding out more about the differences myself.

There is a difference between fooling around for the sake of it, fooling around with someone you like, and fooling around with someone you want to be with/love

Double007 Wrote:... but I knew I was ready ... I wanted him and this would be my first experience ever ... he didn't take his underwear off
Was it his first time too or it sounds like he never intended to go home with you for what ever reason. I am not saying he didnt like you but reasons along the lines, his 1st time too, hiv status, he is not single...

Yeah i have heard of the alcohol effecting some guys this way so i presume that would be your reason

Getting off by yourself and doing it with someone else are 2 completely different things, also others in this thread have noted different reasons why this could have been such as alcohol and it your mood.

Some people need to just be wired with that other person for things to really happen, others can do it without hesitation with anyone.

Perhaps "too much pressure to perform"?

It has happened to me, but usually when there was a "time constraint" Darn thing It just won't co-operate.

Silly but there it is...

Nope, can't say I have ever had this problem.

But then I am very, very selective of who I go to the bedroom with. So selective I have only been with 8 guys 'that way'. 6 of which were 'relationships' (or attempts at such) and even the two one night stands were carefully picked out of a rather large group of potential partners.

To tell the truth, while I was able to perform with those two one night stands, I wasn't really that into it, and didn't come away from the experiences that satisfied. Not that they were not great looking guys, or appeared to have nice personalities, or didn't know their way about an elven body :tongue: I just need more of an emotional connection with a person for sex to be 100% satisfying.

Perhaps this 'just sex' encounter is outside of the parameters of your needs/desires for satisfying sex?

Perhaps you have 'trust issues' and just can't give a stranger that much trust immediately? I mean seriously you are going to be sticking your male member in that guy - how do you really know he won't bite it off, or worse, get you sick with some STD?

Perhaps you are a bit more particular about a person than you think, after all you seem to think that the fact he was annoying on the way home was of some importance to relay to us. Maybe on some deeper level you need to connect/mesh better on the personality level?

Most of sex does not take place in the crotch, it takes place in the brain. Your brain has its ideas of what is hot and what is not... Perhaps this situation wasn't that hot for your brain.

I have no idea what your sexual fantasies are thus what your sexual expectations of sex with another human will be like... So I can not tell you what you think is hot or not.

Very good point Bowyn! Thanks for your enlightening post.

Thanks everyone. Some more information: I was actually being pressured by my cousin to get laid and another friend. For whatever reason, they want it more than I do. Anyway I felt an attraction to the guy and he wanted to come with me. It was Pride Weekend here in Denver and I was so excited. I did have more alcohol than normal and he did too. So that could have been a factor. I like to hear that people need an emotional connection our need to get to know a person because that's kind of how I feel. Especially when I meet guys that I like, who are usually straight, and I just like them more and more as I get to know them or spend time with them. I've been saying that people for a while now and it seems like I gave in to the pressure a little. I think I realized that I wasn't that attracted to him after the fact. Thanks again everyone.

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