I'm a straight guy, in my early 20s, my little sister is 16, and came out to me last night. I'm just shocked right now, but it's beginning to wear off. I was in major shock when she told me, and just kind of frowned and nodded my head. She told me she's been with her girlfriend over a year now. She's a total girly-girl, so I've just always assumed she's boy crazy. Also, used to, she wanted to be a nun. She has some kidney problems and has to spend a lot of time in the hospital, a Catholic hospital, where there's a nun who loves her, and she really admires the nun. She's still my little sister, I still love her, and I'm not going to try to change her, I'm just wondering if I should talk to her about, or just ignore it unless she comes to me again..what would you want your brother(or sister..whoever) to do? Also, we're not that close, so I'm not sure why she chose me to tell..I do support her though, she'll always be my little sister..
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All you can do is be there for her. She must really look up to you to come out to you. Just be there when shed ready to talk to you more.
An eye for an eye
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Hi Vince and welcome 
And congratulation on being such an important person for your sister
The rule one, don't mention it to anyone, no matter how close or distant to your family they are. Ask your sister if there is anybody else who knows are respect that it is her choice to tell people. The fact that she shared it with you doesn't mean that she wants the others to know.
And then it's similar to her dating boys - if you feel comfortable to ask about her partner, ask. It is possible that she is very happy and would like to share her happiness with someone - with you. And it would mean a lot for her.
Again, welcome to the forum
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^agree with all of what Nick9 said^
I would add though, that she may have told you in order to test the waters. She may need to hear from you that everything is okay.
Sometimes, people will first come out to the person who is close, but at the same time safe; someone who doesn't hold a lot of power over their living situation, but who they feel a kinship. If that is the case, even if it isn't the case, she still needs to hear a positive from you if you can do that.
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Vince90 Wrote:I'm a straight guy, in my early 20s, my little sister is 16, and came out to me last night. I'm just shocked right now, but it's beginning to wear off. I was in major shock when she told me, and just kind of frowned and nodded my head. She told me she's been with her girlfriend over a year now. She's a total girly-girl, so I've just always assumed she's boy crazy. Also, used to, she wanted to be a nun. She has some kidney problems and has to spend a lot of time in the hospital, a Catholic hospital, where there's a nun who loves her, and she really admires the nun. She's still my little sister, I still love her, and I'm not going to try to change her, I'm just wondering if I should talk to her about, or just ignore it unless she comes to me again..what would you want your brother(or sister..whoever) to do? Also, we're not that close, so I'm not sure why she chose me to tell..I do support her though, she'll always be my little sister..
She's your little sister, thats all you need to know.
Big brother will step in, if or when he is needed.
Nothing new or strange about that.
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Hello Vince welcome .
You mean more to your sister than you think.
She confided in you and that is a great honor , just give her a hug tell her you are there for her.
Sometimes a hug says more than words ever could.
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Echoing the above comments as well.
Just knowing that someone who loved you before you told them still loves you after is usually the best kind of support.
Richard
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encourage her to live her life to the fullest.
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Pflag http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2
That is a place/site for you to start browsing through.
The mere thought that you equate girly-girl as being straight tells me you have lead a fairly sheltered life when it comes to LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender/transsexual) stuff.
The reality is that a large chunk of the LGB community act and behave in public like 'normal' people of their gender. Thus there are very womanly lesbians and very manly gay men. Its is highly likely that a decent chunk of your acquaintances are LGB, you don't know because their behaviors is what you equate with being 'normal' of their gender and most likely you have expectations for Lesbians to be bull-dikes ad gays to be effeminate lispy things.
I fear you have a bit of a learning curve ahead of you when it comes to the LGBT community. Thus I strongly suggest you go to that Pflag site (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and find a chapter in your area and find similar straight people who have been exactly where you are today.
Your initial reaction falls into nominal parameters (A better term than "normal") and is to be expected.
Should you talk to her about it? Do you need to talk? Do you need to get to know this aspect of your sister better? If yes then yeah, talk to her about it.
If you approach with honesty and sincerity and a somewhat open mind you may actually learn a great deal of positive things.
Of course this is not a conversation you initiate at the family dinner table.
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When I told my family I was gay, all I wanted was acceptance. Just love your sister with an open heart and an open mind.
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Straight, but need advice from someone who's gay
