06-24-2013, 09:18 AM
I'm not sure B.A. is right because though I understand all this intellectually, emotions are all over the place. Its monday, we broke up on monday. In the first weeks I had dreams of us reconciling. Now I have stressful nightmares. I wake up and feel miserable.
Self-accusation (he said it was ok with sex but was not happy with a fuckbuddy,) etc. It feels like he broke up for a legitimate reason. He still sticks to being innocent and it being my fault. Though on one level I know I need to move on. But the lack of communication and the cold shoulder treatment I get (since we have to communicate minimally to sort out practical stuff) is really hurting.
The mornings are worst, when I wake up and am brooding and thinking. Usually get out of bed when I can't take it anymore. Usually need something to distract me. by afternoon I am usually better.
This is hard. I knew it was going to be. I'm not like him, where I can just shut away my feelings behind anger and just excise someone from my life. I know what the long-term issue is and things I need to do. I know that its good to keep myself busy. But the short term issue, I have no idea about. How do I deal with it?
My parents divorced after a 30 year marriage and longer relationship, and my mother is still devastated, years down the line...
What the heck do I do? is it just time? Do I have to get angry at him? Or will it feel like this for as long as I love him? I don't think I will ever fully stop loving him, even when I have moved on. For me, when I have been close to someone, its still there and never goes away. Ok I'll stop whining for now
Self-accusation (he said it was ok with sex but was not happy with a fuckbuddy,) etc. It feels like he broke up for a legitimate reason. He still sticks to being innocent and it being my fault. Though on one level I know I need to move on. But the lack of communication and the cold shoulder treatment I get (since we have to communicate minimally to sort out practical stuff) is really hurting.
The mornings are worst, when I wake up and am brooding and thinking. Usually get out of bed when I can't take it anymore. Usually need something to distract me. by afternoon I am usually better.
This is hard. I knew it was going to be. I'm not like him, where I can just shut away my feelings behind anger and just excise someone from my life. I know what the long-term issue is and things I need to do. I know that its good to keep myself busy. But the short term issue, I have no idea about. How do I deal with it?
My parents divorced after a 30 year marriage and longer relationship, and my mother is still devastated, years down the line...
What the heck do I do? is it just time? Do I have to get angry at him? Or will it feel like this for as long as I love him? I don't think I will ever fully stop loving him, even when I have moved on. For me, when I have been close to someone, its still there and never goes away. Ok I'll stop whining for now