Taking your mind off of things...

[Smurlos]

Hey guys!
OK I know that it's not forever... But basically my bf and I got together on sat after news of the car crash etc. There were immediate sparks after we first met, and everytime there after followed by the most meaningful kiss I've ever experienced (don't get me wrong, I've had intimate before, i'm not a dirty hoe hehe!!!) but there was just soooo much power and emotion running through my body - it took us an hour more than planned, after the kiss, to finish the mini kissing sessions and the hugs followed by more talking etc. etc. to say bye to eachother!

Anyway after the crash on Sat and my near-death experience, I realised that this was more than just 'liking' because as my car spun onto its roof and I saw sparks thinking I was about to go up in flames and die, all I was thinking of was him. Not a single thing else came into my head. Not telling the mates I was off to visit, not getting my mum here asap, none of that. When I got home early hours Sunday morning I left him a few msn messages explaining what had happened as I'd left my phone in the car! He pretty much immediately woke up (he's usually quite a deep sleeper), knew something was wrong, came to his laptop etc etc. and he stayed up with me til around 6.30am some 4 hours making sure I was okay etc. And it was then he told me he loved me and couldn't believe he'd almost lost me so soon. And I knew I felt the same.

Anyway the day after (Sunday), was our final day to see eachother before he went off to Florida for 2 weeks. (More on topic now). When we arrived, he gave me a bag - in which I found a brand new phone he'd bought me as mine was missing - so we could keep in touch while he was away. I just didn't know what to say, it was sooooo sweet, so just kissed him looooooooads!! And to see his grinning cheeky face staring me back was just so amazing. After an amazing evening and one of the most UPSETTING yet PERFECT goodbyes I've ever had to say (sorry, he doesn't like me saying goodbye as it is too final, I mean, 'see ya') I went to bed, very tired.

The following day we were texting all morning as he was getting excited bout his first ever flight etc. etc. and then he was gone. From the moment he took off, my heart sank and I twiddled my thumbs, and just did not know what to do with myself. Was cranky (haha love that word) and bit short tempered with everyone alllll day! Not usually at all like that! Then all day yesterday we were texting like mad from get up til sleep. But we spent about £20 in total texting whoops! So now we've had to calm it down to a few a day... and it's doing my head in... I miss him so much and want to hear what he's doing, how nice a day he's having... anything!!

So what I'd like to know is... how can I take my mind off of him (or at least keep it at bay more). All I do is stare at my phone hoping he's gonna text soon or lay on my bed thinking about him more. It may be sad but I have a little countdown thing til he gets home too! Anyone got any ideas?

Shadow suggested putting some plans into motion for his return, which I've been thinking about. I don't know what we'll do - maybe I'll cook him a meal - but when he gets to my house I'll tell him to close his eyes, take a rose out in my mouth (all the thorns pre-stripped) and then kiss him softly and put the rose into his mouth, then tell him to open! Coz I dreamt it... and I dreamt that my car was gonna go along on its roof with sparks flying everywhere (and it did!) so I believe that someone is telling me to do things... or MAYBE more to avoid doing things??? hmmmm!!!! *worries now*

So yeah, I'd be grateful if any of you have any tips? Maybe you guys in LDRs (long distance relationships) etc?
Cheers guys xx

[fjp999]

Does he have access to a computer? Maybe you can connect by Skype.

I know that two weeks will seem forever and it is a good plan to get something special going.

Maybe you can do some nifty long project like painting your rooms. A big project like that will take your mind off your bf and make time fly.

Listen to your intuition. I learned that the hard way. My intuition told me to bring extra socks and I am thinking - that is stupid... but as soon as I got to work I spilled water all over my feet and fresh socks would have been nice.

The rose trick sounds beautiful.

warm hugs,
frank

[Shadow]

Baby Smurlos you have the capacity to take the breath away from people that you've not even MET yet, so I have absolutely NO doubt you'll be able to make him go weak at the knees with very little work ...

... I speak with Martyn on the phone every night at least once, and I e-mail him every day once whilst he's at work (unless he replies, in which case I reply) ...

I don't do the e-mail thing to GET a reply - I just like to say little things like "Hey babe - just wanted to say that I hope you have a great day" or stuff like that ...

... it's the little things that make people smile, and have the biggest impact I find, as they are most telling of us as people ...

You will find ways of making his days (and nights) special whether you're together or apart, as that is your nature ... you're very considerate and thoughtful, and you NATURALLY gravitate to finding ways of looking after the people you love and care for ... you're adorable xx

As for trying to take your mind OFF things, that's a tough one ... if you DO want to keep in touch and don't want the hassle of the costs ? Try picking up a 3 Skype phone - it should work fine for you over there, and if he's got one I'm PRETTY sure that 3 have a presence in the US, but I could be talking utter rubbish.

£39.99 for the handset with a PAYG SIM card, and then you can talk to each other until you're blue in the face from these MOBILE phones (no need to be at your PC's), and it won't cost either of you a penny .

Just a thought ...

... and yes - if somebody had done that rose thing to me I would have melted like ice-cream in summertime ... :biggrin:.

.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[boy_toy_08]

That is such a sweet gesture! You should do the rose thing for him and welcome him to his favourite mean candlelit with his favourite wine!

I know how you feel though, my guy is away at the moment too! *sobs*

It's loneley. *hugs*

[Smurlos]

Does he have access to a computer? Maybe you can connect by Skype.

I know that two weeks will seem forever and it is a good plan to get something special going.

Maybe you can do some nifty long project like painting your rooms. A big project like that will take your mind off your bf and make time fly.

Listen to your intuition. I learned that the hard way. My intuition told me to bring extra socks and I am thinking - that is stupid... but as soon as I got to work I spilled water all over my feet and fresh socks would have been nice.

The rose trick sounds beautiful.

warm hugs,
frank

at the sock thing!! Ummm well we don't live together so painting rooms wouldn't work. Was thinking of making him a welcome home card too. But I wouldn't want to be too sappy lol. So *shrug*

Aww shadz! He doesn't have a skype phone... and as for 3... well... you're lucky to get reception in the UK let alone America

I've only got 10 days to go, I'll just have to be patient, get on with life as I would've done before he came into it and hopefully it'll go quickly eh!! xx

[boy_toy_08]

Smurlos...do you have keys for his house? If you do you should go in and tidy it up (but it might not be messy.....)

You could go out and try to find a present he might like? But you should take ages and try to find the best thing he'd like.

Or you could write a poem to him?

[marshlander]

Hi Smurlos,

As a participant in a ldr I know all about the staring at the phone thing. I'm not sure that any amount of good advice will make a difference, but I'll write this anyway. Learning to live with your situation is something only you can do. Clearly you have a life outside the relationship and that is probably where your salvation lies. Building the motivation to get on with it, though, is something quite different and often very difficult.

What it comes down to for me, and probably for Albert too, is that there are things I can change and things that either I cannot change or am not prepared to change at the moment. If I cannot pick up the phone and call him, there is little point staring at the damn thing (thoroughly pleased with my Orange Broadband Live Box, which allows me many hours of telephone conversation a month for my £5 subscription). Don't be a martyr to your feelings, but don't forget to take as much time as you need to wallow in the delicious agony of them too .

Being the kind of person that needs to have something to worry about, I used to worry (for the first few years) that something might have changed or died during the times we were apart. I needn't have worried, because each reunion has always been wonderful. Some people sometimes seem to need a little period of adjustment to get used to being reunited with their partner. When you see him again make sure he knows how you feel, but be prepared to give him whatever space he might need just so that your passion doesn't suffocate him! You want him to love being with you and not many people like the feeling of being smothered. I'm not suggesting "hands off", just engage a bit of sensitivity before you drag him into bed. It could, of course, be exactly what he wants and has been hoping for, but offer him a cup of tea first if you know what I mean

In the early stage of a relationship the emotions are on high alert. Try and plan to keep your life ticking over as much as normal. If it helps, make a list of the tasks that need to be done and cross them off when you get through each one. I'm a believer in the power of the smugness of self-satisfaction. Planning doesn't have to be weeks ahead. Do it day-to-day if that's what it takes. At least that way, you don't end up realising that a fortnight has gone past and you've nothing to show for it. During the "in-love" stage of a relationship it is quite possible for rational behaviour to take a holiday. You owe it to yourself to make sure that holiday doesn't turn into unpaid leave.

Of course, plan for his return. Make his reappearance as special as you like. Try not to forget that you have a life too.

Good luck. mile:

[Smurlos]

Hi Smurlos,

As a participant in a ldr I know all about the staring at the phone thing. I'm not sure that any amount of good advice will make a difference, but I'll write this anyway. Learning to live with your situation is something only you can do. Clearly you have a life outside the relationship and that is probably where your salvation lies. Building the motivation to get on with it, though, is something quite different and often very difficult.

What it comes down to for me, and probably for Albert too, is that there are things I can change and things that either I cannot change or am not prepared to change at the moment. If I cannot pick up the phone and call him, there is little point staring at the damn thing (thoroughly pleased with my Orange Broadband Live Box, which allows me many hours of telephone conversation a month for my £5 subscription). Don't be a martyr to your feelings, but don't forget to take as much time as you need to wallow in the delicious agony of them too .

Being the kind of person that needs to have something to worry about, I used to worry (for the first few years) that something might have changed or died during the times we were apart. I needn't have worried, because each reunion has always been wonderful. Some people sometimes seem to need a little period of adjustment to get used to being reunited with their partner. When you see him again make sure he knows how you feel, but be prepared to give him whatever space he might need just so that your passion doesn't suffocate him! You want him to love being with you and not many people like the feeling of being smothered. I'm not suggesting "hands off", just engage a bit of sensitivity before you drag him into bed. It could, of course, be exactly what he wants and has been hoping for, but offer him a cup of tea first if you know what I mean

In the early stage of a relationship the emotions are on high alert. Try and plan to keep your life ticking over as much as normal. If it helps, make a list of the tasks that need to be done and cross them off when you get through each one. I'm a believer in the power of the smugness of self-satisfaction. Planning doesn't have to be weeks ahead. Do it day-to-day if that's what it takes. At least that way, you don't end up realising that a fortnight has gone past and you've nothing to show for it. During the "in-love" stage of a relationship it is quite possible for rational behaviour to take a holiday. You owe it to yourself to make sure that holiday doesn't turn into unpaid leave.

Of course, plan for his return. Make his reappearance as special as you like. Try not to forget that you have a life too.

Good luck. mile:

Awwww!!! Well my plan isn't to drag him into bed I'm not a very sex-orientated person - don't get me wrong, it's great, but there are more important things in a relationship - that the majority of people in this world overlook and who then wonder why they're single all the time?

Oh i've tended to everything in my life - work, uni, watching family guy and hollyoaks etc. it's just suddenly been made harder as my internet broke!! Yeah my mum owed £10 apparently that they didn't even tell her about so just cut it off. She called and paid, they reconnected it but now my wireless is not assigning an IP so it won't blooming connect so I'm currently in the lounge with it plugged directly into the laptop and my shoulders hurt :-P.

I was gonna go into town to get my guy some top up as a surprise but now i've FINALLY got some kind of internet connection, I think I'll just do it through here.

Thanks for the advice everyone xx