Oh my! His penis was uncommonly LARGE!

[KawaiiKitty]

Nobody said it is ok to cheat.
I assure you, the majority of the straight couples would tell you the same. It should have not happened.
It happened - big mistake.
Now, why would you want your partner to know? To hurt him? What should he do with the information?

I dunno? because you owe to your partner to be truthful to them maybe? You know just some little thing like honesty or some such. Keeping them in the dark about something they should know about is just as much of a lie as telling them a falsehood to their face. Maybe youre ok lying to your partner(s)? but Im not in the habit of it. By condoning his action of keeping the information from his bf you are condoning his act of cheating. Youre basically saying its ok to cheat as long as his bf doesnt find out about it.

They should be the one to decide the next action to take and not you because if you cheat on your partner you are the one in the wrong and not them. Yes its gonna hurt, its gonna hurt BOTH of you and you bear the weight of blame of your actions.

Honestly the op just sounds like he's been resisting being with this guy for a long time and it finally come to a head that night when he cheated on his bf. You dont partially jerk off a guy and expect it to not be cheating. Yeah he crossed a line, a big line.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

really guys? I honestly cant believe the majority of you are saying its ok to cheat on your partner and then not own up to it to him. And you wonder why the public perception of the gay community is still that of a promiscuous slut in 2013.

It is the 'safer' route.

Understand that the OP got 'pissing drunk' which means that a lot of the things he normally would do nor not do while sober was tossed out the window.

How much of an effect that will have on his spouses acceptance of this as a 'mistake' over a willful act of cheating is hard to say.

Oh and for the record, straight people cheat all the time and no one thinks the straights are promiscuous. The Gays are thought of as promiscuous because we have a tendency to be quite open and honest about the hundreds of sex partners we have on average per gay.

We also have Gay Day Parades where sex is foremost promoted, we also have our gay bars and bath houses and openly sexual life styles, such as the leather Crowd that doesn't make it much a secret that they are into leather after all they walk around in chaps, jackets, harnesses and the like openly, in public unlike the majority of straights into the leather scene that hide it and keep it secret.

[Nick9]

Nice way of accusing me.

I always thought that people who cheated and then run to their partners and spilled up, did it because they were selfish.

They shouldn't have cheated in the first place!

But then they keep thinking about it and feel bad about it. And then an idea comes to their mind - oh, I will tell it to my partner, that would make me less bad person.

And by telling it to their partner they feel better. Because they did at least one good thing, right? Tell told the truth!

But now it's their partner who feels miserable.

They should have not cheated. It's them who should feel miserable.

This happened once, they were drunk. It was not ok. But I also think that it is not ok to share it with his partner.

I dunno? because you owe to your partner to be truthful to them maybe? You know just some little thing like honesty or some such. Keeping them in the dark about something they should know about is just as much of a lie as telling them a falsehood to their face. Maybe youre ok lying to your partner(s)? but Im not in the habit of it. By condoning his action of keeping the information from his bf you are condoning his act of cheating. Youre basically saying its ok to cheat as long as his bf doesnt find out about it.

They should be the one to decide the next action to take and not you because if you cheat on your partner you are the one in the wrong and not them. Yes its gonna hurt, its gonna hurt BOTH of you and you bear the weight of blame of your actions.

Honestly the op just sounds like he's been resisting being with this guy for a long time and it finally come to a head that night when he cheated on his bf. You dont partially jerk off a guy and expect it to not be cheating. Yeah he crossed a line, a big line.

[jimcrackcorn]

Just taking something you said in a differnt post:



So warm cylindrical objects are OK?

Well,,, I do have a thing for exhaust pipes on automobiles, "particularly foreign ones" (BG).

[Beaux]

really guys? I honestly cant believe the majority of you are saying its ok to cheat on your partner and then not own up to it to him. And you wonder why the public perception of the gay community is still that of a promiscuous slut in 2013.

Ok. Obviously, you and I have a MUCH different idea as to what constitutes cheating. Though I admit it was in poor taste, comparing penis size with a friend is not cheating in my book.

[ardus]

People are human, none of us are perfect. You are going to make mistakes. The operative question here in my opinion is, will it help the relationship or hurt it if he tells his partner.
I think it would hurt it, and him, it was mistake no doubt, and clearly he feels bad about it. Why should he force his partner to suffer through his mistake.
If it's not going to happen again, you file it under lessons learned and move on.
Richard

[Beaux]

And just so you all know: My husband reads GaySpeak, so I told him everything before he had to read it on his own.
He isn't upset in the least (in fact Alan came over and had a late supper and watched a movie with us last night. My husband says he knows I am a natural flirt and really he doesn't see why I felt the need to tell him about it. Of course I won't be jumping to post anything else of that nature here on the forum anytime in the future....

[KawaiiKitty]

Wow just wow is all I can say to this thread and then hang my head in shame...

This is one of the reasons why our own community is setting itself back years as far as progression in the mainstream is concerned.

Ive been pissed blind drunk before and Ive never used being drunk as an excuse to cheat on my bf. No matter how drunk Ive gotten Ive never even been tempted. You are either with someone or you're not.

And yes it was a mistake that should have never happened. But it did and people should take personal responsibility for their actions.(yet again another thing that is wrong with the world as a whole) People just want to take the easy way out. "oh I dont have to tell him cause he will never find out" I just feel sorry for your bf who has apparently deluded himself into thinking its ok for you to cheat and betray his trust like you have. Plus the only reason you told him was because you slipped up in the anon post instead of manning up and telling him to his face in the first place instead of just keeping it a secret forever. Trust and honesty are the basic building blocks of a relationship. You cant keep secrets from each other and expect to fully trust each other.

Lets say you did have sex with this guy and he had some kind of STD that he didnt know he had. Now youve gotten it and youre gonna pass it on to your partner. Are you just gonna say "oopsie! Im sorry it was a mistake! my bad!"?

The nonchalant attitude towards cheating is just sickening.

[Beaux]

Wow just wow is all I can say to this thread and then hang my head in shame...

This is one of the reasons why our own community is setting itself back years as far as progression in the mainstream is concerned.

Ive been pissed blind drunk before and Ive never used being drunk as an excuse to cheat on my bf. No matter how drunk Ive gotten Ive never even been tempted. You are either with someone or you're not.

And yes it was a mistake that should have never happened. But it did and people should take personal responsibility for their actions.(yet again another thing that is wrong with the world as a whole) People just want to take the easy way out. "oh I dont have to tell him cause he will never find out" I just feel sorry for your bf who has apparently deluded himself into thinking its ok for you to cheat and betray his trust like you have. Plus the only reason you told him was because you slipped up in the anon post instead of manning up and telling him to his face in the first place instead of just keeping it a secret forever. Trust and honesty are the basic building blocks of a relationship. You cant keep secrets from each other and expect to fully trust each other.

Lets say you did have sex with this guy and he had some kind of STD that he didnt know he had. Now youve gotten it and youre gonna pass it on to your partner. Are you just gonna say "oopsie! Im sorry it was a mistake! my bad!"?

The nonchalant attitude towards cheating is just sickening.

OMG. I did NOT have sex with anyone! If SEEING another mans penis constitutes cheating, than I can see why so many of you guys are still single!

[KawaiiKitty]

OMG. I did NOT have sex with anyone! If SEEING another mans penis constitutes cheating, than I can see why so many of you guys are still single!

Well....after laying eyes on that beauty, I couldn't help myself! I asked him if I could touch it. Then we jacked each other a little but neither of us came (I really don't think we were trying to get each other off, more like we both wanted to see what it felt like to hold the other's cock). It felt pretty good! LOL

Touching another guy's dick and enjoying sounds an awful lot like sex to me. Thats not even including ALL the other couples things you do like cuddling and touching each other.