Not Sure What to Do

[archubbycub]

My boyfriend came home last night after visiting his family all week and quite literally dropped a bomb on me. He said that he had talked to this other guy online, which led to them Skypeing each other. And I would have had no problem with that, had it not been for what he told me next.

He said that one thing led to another and for some reason he saw this guy naked over Skype. And then he and this guy masturbated together over Skype as well.

I was shocked to say the least. I mean it would have been one thing if they had just simply talked. Hell, I wouldn't have been upset if they had just innocently flirted. But I was so not ready for that one.

He seemed genuinely sorry that he had done it. He even started crying. I finally told him that I was hurt but that I needed some time to think about all of this and that I needed to get some sleep because I had to be at work early this morning. Of course I didn't sleep very well.

At this point, I'm totally confused to say the least. On one hand I'm shocked and hurt that he would take it that far, on the other hand I'm a little bit angry as well. He swears that nothing else happened, but there's still this little nagging feeling in the back of my mind.

Am I making too much of this? After all he swears nothing else happened and he was the one who admited to it. So it's not like I caught him doing it or found him with the guy in our bed.

[Nick9]

Hi, honestly, we can't tell you. It's up to you, your limits, your agreements and the lines you two have drawn into the sand.

Look up the recent threads of Englishman and Beaux to get inspired how the advice of the gs members may vary...

[archubbycub]

It's just so weird. I've given advice on this type if situation several times, but when it's me that's been cheated on, I'm at a total loss! I live him, and I want to work this out, but I guess it's still pretty raw and I really don't want to talk to him about it right now. In fact, he tried to bring it up before I left for work this morning and I told him I still needed some time. I did point blank ask him if anything else happened besides the Skypeing and that was when he swore that nothing else did. Quite honestly, I don't want to be at work right now, but I also don't want to be at home.

[Nick9]

Out of pure curiosity how other people see it: are you glad he told you, or would you rather not know?

[archubbycub]

Out of pure curiosity how other people see it: are you glad he told you, or would you rather not know?

I am glad he told me rather than me finding out the hard way. But still it's like I've been hit by a truck or something. I'm still stunned by it. And I think it hurts a little more cause he and I had just had some "fun time" together after him being gone for so many days. Plus I was tired and needed to go to bed so it really wasn't a good time for him to confess. But then again, when is a good time for something like that?

[archubbycub]

Mate, shit place to be in, but you will sort this out like 2 rational adults

I hope so because like I've said I truly love him. Last night he practically begged me not to kick him out. I told him that I wasn't going to. But right now I feel like I just need "some space" to sort things out.

[Nick9]

Hmm, that was not what I meant. To know, or not to know? There is pretty big probability that you would never find out if he didn't tell you.

[archubbycub]

Hmm, that was not what I meant. To know, or not to know? There is pretty big probability that you would never find out if he didn't tell you.

True, unless I went snooping in his Skype account. But even then, he's never given me a reason to want to snoop. So I guess to better answer your question, I'm not really sure if I'd rather know about it or not. I mean, I'm sure if he hadn't told me it would start to cause issues between us that I wouldn't really understand since I wouldn't know what was going on inside his head, and that would be bad. But at the same time I really feel like crap right now. In a way I feel used. So I guess you could say I'm torn right now.

[Nick9]

Thank you for the honest answer. And good luck. I hope you will find the solution that will work for you.

[archubbycub]

Thank you for the honest answer. And good luck. I hope you will find the solution that will work for you.

Thank you. Like I said I want to work this out but right now it's really tough.