Posts: 9,477
Threads: 267
Joined: Apr 2012
Reputation:
2
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: Scorpio
Mood: None
Your right it's better to do it now rather than later. Good luck.
An eye for an eye
•
So quick update ! I ended it with the second guy.. it went well too!
In fact this was a good choice i have more time to talk/spend to the guy I decided to go out with.. I am super happy as I am very attracted to this guy.. and i love getting to know him more....
However the guy who said "Iloveyou" keeps texting me to hang out as friends... I'm feeling uncomfortable he told me today hes in my area and coming to pick me up... I'm not sure I can remain friends with someone who feels so strongly about me...
I said no.. and he said tmrw he will be in my area again........ Kinda freaked out he knows where I live too...
Story of my life lol
•
He left a gift-bag outside my house... with a note-card saying he wants to spend time with me.. gift-bag is nice but...... uhm how do I tell him to stop....
Gift bag was quite thoughtful... cause i went hiking other day.. he got me bunch of cream and stuff for my bug bites .
But I should tell him to stop.. in a nice way... just don't know how :S
•
I couldn't do it. But as long as you are open I suppose and if they are ok with it.
•
Don't worry about it.
It's only wrong if you happen to care about other people's feelings.
•
I find it curious that the majority of the responses to the poll say we believe it's fine as long as all parties involved are aware of what's going on, but most actual responses say "Aw hell no!".
Personally, I don't have the bandwidth to date more than one guy at a time, but for people that do - I see nothing wrong with it as long as all parties involved know what's happening and there's been no conversation about exclusivity. I'm really big on choosing points and making sure everyone's on the same page. Honesty above everything else.
That said, it sounds like this post is a bit moot as you've already made your decision of whom to actively pursue. So, to give my opinions about the two questions still open:
1) I'd tell guy #3 that you were seeing other people...but maybe not so bluntly (But that's up to you). I'd at least mention that you were starting to develop a noticeable interest in him, and also mention that you'd met another couple of people from the same app, but they're only leading towards friendships.
2) The "It's Date #3 and I've reserved the Uhaul" guy. You have to tell him to back down. You just have to, otherwise this will keep up. I'd tell him that he seemed like a great guy, but was coming on too strong, and while his gift was kind-hearted, it was a bit too much too soon. Be honest but kind, and direct but provide feedback he may be able to grow from when he develops an interest in someone else that may help keep him from seeming like a stalker. It's *SUPER* hard learning the ropes when you're an inexperienced dater...and hopefully he'll appreciate any gentle feedback you can offer so he can have a chance of not letting his overzealousness ruin the next thing.
•
I told guy#2.. to stop.. although I thought was nice to leave gift bags at my house.. it was also creepy.. he understood and told me he would stop.. Guess hes just inexperienced I had a nice long chat with him.. hes actually a nice guy who is just misunderstood... he's never been in love so think hes just confusing love with crush.
So guy#3... we been getting along texting/talking to each other daily... (I really should make another post for this) Last 2 days.. seems like hes avoiding me... takes long to text back and leaves super short texts... "Sure" "Thanks" "Ok" This started happening after I last saw him.. strange.. I knew he was busy on the weekend.. but it seems like he wants to break it off with me all of a sudden..
Ugh why does dating have to be such a headache... Wondering if he was dating other people while seeing me.. and probably is trying to break it off with me........
Either that or I'm just over-thinking... like crazy... I'll wait for the week to come .. He's been laid off work so during the week he isn't as busy as most of his friends are working... so he only hangs with them on weekends...
Anyways thanks everyone really appreciate the advice... on the dating more then one guy topic...
•