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Dates that turn into mates.
#1
Right I had an date the other day and it went really well, we ended the night kissing and cuddling against my car. The next met up was okay but I felt he wasn't saying something to me. He then came out with and said he just wants to be friends and leave it like that till he sorts out things with his ex. He said he is worried to drag me into his mess and get me hurt. Fair play to him as he said he didn't want to lead me on.

It sounds little like he isn't ready for another bf atm and just he just wants to make a few new friends.

He said hes going to help me get used to the scene and help me make some new meets over in Bristol. Where I'm planing on moving to in the near future.

So what I'm asking is can you make friends with guys you date?
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#2
After just one date?

I'd say yeah, but everyone is different.

If this were a breakup after some period of commitment and not seeing anyone else, I might be more skeptical.

Good luck.
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#3
LateBloomer Wrote:After just one date?

I'd say yeah, but everyone is different.

If this were a breakup after some period of commitment and not seeing anyone else, I might be more skeptical.

Good luck.

So well hmmm what I mean is it a good thing for me to wait for him to sort things out with his last relationship or should I just be happy being mates and leave it at that and carrying on dating other guys?
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#4
Yes, former dates van be friends.

The only thing I ask, is that you realize that just because a guy acts like he likes you doesn't mean he does
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#5
artyboy Wrote:So what I'm asking is can you make friends with guys you date?

Quote:So well hmmm what I mean is it a good thing for me to wait for him to sort things out with his last relationship or should I just be happy being mates and leave it at that and carrying on dating other guys?

These are two different questions... keep him as a mate - if you're so inclined, but, please take the man at his word and "carry on on dating other guys".
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#6
artyboy Wrote:So well hmmm what I mean is it a good thing for me to wait for him to sort things out with his last relationship or should I just be happy being mates and leave it at that and carrying on dating other guys?

Ah, ok.

DEFINITELY date other guys! It's romantic to "leave the light on" but I foresee nothing but many months of frustration and disappointment.

If anything, by you going out and dating, you appear happy and healthy and well adjusted to your "friend"--and of course that makes you more attractive. In the process it *may* help clarify his feelings about you and his "-ex". In the meantime, you may actually find someone else who is happy, healthy, well adjusted and AVAILABLE!

Smile

Best wishes.
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#7
ardus Wrote:Yes, former dates van be friends.

The only thing I ask, is that you realize that just because a guy acts like he likes you doesn't mean he does

MissingNYC Wrote:These are two different questions... keep him as a mate - if you're so inclined, but, please take the man at his word and "carry on on dating other guys".

LateBloomer Wrote:Ah, ok.

DEFINITELY date other guys! It's romantic to "leave the light on" but I foresee nothing but many months of frustration and disappointment.

If anything, by you going out and dating, you appear happy and healthy and well adjusted to your "friend"--and of course that makes you more attractive. In the process it *may* help clarify his feelings about you and his "-ex". In the meantime, you may actually find someone else who is happy, healthy, well adjusted and AVAILABLE!

Smile

Best wishes.

I'm new at this sort of thing really so I don't really know if I'm ever doing the right thing.

He said he also wants to take me under his wing and helping me sort out my conference out and show me the scene in Bristol. Hes 5 years older than me and more experienced.
I think he has help a few other guys like this too.

So I guess I'm doing the right thing with this.
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#8
artyboy Wrote:I'm new at this sort of thing really so I don't really know if I'm ever doing the right thing.

He said he also wants to take me under his wing and helping me sort out my conference out and show me the scene in Bristol. Hes 5 years older than me and more experienced.
I think he has help a few other guys like this too.

So I guess I'm doing the right thing with this.

The right thing? All's fair in love and war.

Smile

Yeah, stay in touch with him, but I also caution you against investing anything romantic or holding out hope or eliminating other romantic interests.

If you find yourself preoccupied with the idea of being with him, maybe you're not the type of person who can be friends with former dates.
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#9
LateBloomer Wrote:The right thing? All's fair in love and war.

Smile

Yeah, stay in touch with him, but I also caution you against investing anything romantic or holding out hope or eliminating other romantic interests.

If you find yourself preoccupied with the idea of being with him, maybe you're not the type of person who can be friends with former dates.

Strangely I feel quite happy just being friends with him and the moment and just being there when he needs me.

But the thing with his ex is he can quite violent and this guy is worried that I might get hurt. He nearly cried telling me.

All I could say is that I'm for him when he needs me.

I think he just wants a mate atm so that's fine with me.
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#10
artyboy Wrote:So what I'm asking is can you make friends with guys you date?

Me... personally? - no.

I understand it can happen.
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