19, Going On 16

[Anonymous]

Right, well... this is awkward.

Basically, I decided to dabble in a little bit of internet dating... and I met this guy who seemed really nice. And according to his profile, he was 19 - which I figured was close enough to my age, I didn't really think it'd be a problem.

But then after a while we started texting, and added each other on facebook. And it turns out he's 16. And I'm a bit conflicted. I know that anything we might do would be legal, and I do like him... but the idea of dating someone so much younger than me seems a bit off - and I'm a little bit pissed that he lied about his age.

So, what should I do? Should the fact that he lied mean instant red lights? Or should I forgive him for that, and give him a shot?

Any advice would be appreciated x

[MisterTinkles]

I would check what "legal" means in your city and state if you are in the USA.

16 is very, VERY "iffy".

If he lives out on his own and pays his own bills, then he can be considered an "adult".
But if he lives at home, then his parents have the right to send your ass to the penitentiary for 5 years.

I know this from first hand knowledge. It happened to someone I know.


For me....

I know 18 is the "legal" age, but I NEVER date anybody under 25.

[Spellbound]

So how old are you?

If you're in Europe or other places 16 is legal.

Look, if he's cute, just get on with it!!!!!

[Kenny221]

16 is in the grey area. LOL Me too.... and to be honest, he was probably just curious. I'm 17 and I was on a couple sites( which says I'm 18 Oops, but to be fair, I'm only 7 months away from 18 so...) I think it's alright as long as it's legal though.

Try not to be too hard on him for lying about his age, it might be because these sites were the only way he knows how to meet people.

[Dreamer]

Even in the pettiness of the lie, lying never leaves a good first impression. A lie is a lie is a lie! Definite red flag!

Given also the weird feeling throwing you off, in respect to his young age... I say follow your gut instinct! I always try to, and EVERY TIME I don't, I end up regretting it, one way or another.

[Kiid]

I've dated 16 year olds... But I live in the land of the long white cloud. Also I was 18 at the time u.u

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Regardless of his age he has demonstrated he is capable of lying without remorse to get what he wants. Clearly being 16 and saying he is 19 means he is hoping to get an older guy (like you) which means he is willing to manipulate a person by giving false data.

I can pretty much assure you with 99.99% certainty that he has lied about other things and each new lie you catch (because the truth always comes out in time) you will hate him a wee bit more.

Look, I went though 14.5 years of a relationship of lies. I forgave a lot of lies - the majority of them were 'petty' but by God there were a lot of 'white lies' 'petty lies' inconsequential lies' which mean that the liar had no problem lying about the big things as well.

I would suggest cutting bait and letting this one get away.

[Sylph]

Also, in addition to BA's post which I agree with, I'd like to state this.

What da fuck Sis. Kay, it's off my chest.

Now, being stalked since 13 to even now, I know how emotionally damaging a relationship between people of significant age gaps can be, primarily in the younger years, cause I found out he was stalking me at 17 and even at that time, while mature and not in a relationship with him, led me to be very distrusting of men and for awhile made me not want to like any man.

Gurl, that is a boy, I don't care what no hoe says, he doesn't grasp life in it's entirety, he doesn't know his fucking uterus from his elbow, he don't know about life and his life is no where in order, nor is it his for the moment.

I know this, because I was there not too long ago and while living on my own and being very mature, I didn't "get" alot of things I know now. Kids always say they know or "I got it", but no Sis, they don't.

He is acting on impulse and as the older party, it's your responsibility, not to him but to yourself, to steer this boy from a decision he may regret later on in life, cause what if it emotionally scars him or whatever. He just don't know.

He needs to sort his life out, before he goes around trynna fuck or get fucked, especially by/with someone who most likely has their shit together. It's not fair on him or you.

I say just let that boy go gurl, it ain't worth it on either end.

I'm sure you'll meet somebody else

[Edward]

You should ask youself, do you want to date a child. Because that's what he is.

[Vigilias]

So, he's lied once already and if he's not of the legal age of consent where you live that's one very good reason to be as mad as hell with him. What else is he lying about? What else will he lie about? Can you really found a relationship on a lie? That brings up trust issues for me.

If he is old enough to date men then you must ask your self why he lied about his age. Maybe he thought you'd reject him if he told you how old he really was.

I don't believe at that age anyone is mature enough to handle a serious long term relationship. You, I'm afraid, will simply be the ground upon which he tests all the issues that go with dating. I can't see it lasting for long.

So, if all is legal there's nothing stopping you, just don't expect too much for too long.

Good luck.