Don't see what's wrong with meeting someone in a bar etc.
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It really depends on what you're looking for.
I tried Match for like a week, and found most of the people I was communicating with were pretty needy. This might not be a deal-breaker for all, but as a busy independent guy, it was definitely a turn off. And, to be fair, those were just the guys in my area - your area may be different. I got rid of it after a week.
Then, after the ex and I broke up, I got on Scruff to meet some new friends in my area. I met a few, as well as the guy that I'm currently seeing, but - being a hook-up app - there were far too many dick pics for my liking so I got rid of that after a week too. I'm all about a hook-up, when you're looking for it, but an app can't judge chemistry...so it had to go.
Either way, just be safe and have fun. These apps/sites can be really useful if you really enjoy a first date. Go into them knowing you can learn a lot about yourself, have a new experience with a stranger, and that just because you went on one date doesn't mean you have to go on a second (because, believe me, when you're actively dating there will be FAR more 1st dates than 2nd...or 3rd...and it helps if you can find something useful out of all of them because some will just be BAD).
AND, as Chas said, if you're looking for a date, make sure the first meeting is in public, preferably like a coffee shop where there's no implied commitment that you stay for any period of time, *and you arrange your own ride*. The first will ensure your safety, the second will spare you a LOT of awkwardness.
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Some time ago, a friend of mine hit on the idea of using a regional news paper's lonely hearts column.
I questioned her sanity but insisted that I go with her to any meet she set up. Most of the guys were really okay and I couldn't work out why they were using news paper adds to meet partners. Takes all sorts I suppose. One guy was a huge body-builder looking type and apparently said I was intimidating... GOOD!
My friend persuaded me to answer a few adds and like an idiot I did. I' was curious as to the outcome but I swear to all the gods I will never do it again!
I met a guy who turned up wearing an Edwardian style frock-coat with lacy shirt sleeves sleeves emerging from it and worst of all a bloody wig! It wouldn't have been so bad if the wig hadn't been made from FEATHERS!
I travelled 20 odd miles on two trains to meet one guy who completely miss-described himself. I told him that if he was 27, I was Foetus!
Now I don't know which was worse, the guy who ended up stalking me or the guy who showed up and turned out to be 14 years-old.
Nope, I think hook up methods are just a good way of throwing two people together who have very little or nothing in common.
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That said, apparently we have a match-making agency, here in town, that takes two people they deem are compatible, doesn't share any information about either to the other, and then randomly sends them a text saying "You're meeting your next date at x location at x time. They will be wearing x and you need to wear x to identify yourself". You never get a description, you never get a picture, you never have any idea about who you're meeting. That sounds *SUPER* fun to me!
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online dating guys are rude, insecure, liars and the best of them frauds.. They are 24/7 in a computer or in an iphone, they never have the intention of meeting people, they become arrogants, unsatisfied with everyone even if the're talking to a cute or the hottest guy, because they know that in a second they'll find something better...... For them u are a Profile and a profile u will stay... Because they havent meet u they do not hesitate to dump u and stop talking u any time without consequences...the last 1,5 year i've talked to 1500 people and i managed to meet and date only 5... the odds are against... my friends say i'm a cute guy, and gay men i meet in real life usually show interest on me ....
The last 3 guys from the site were skillful dating players with a specific tactic...they were from other cities, showed crazy interest in the beginning, we were talking on the phone, on skype for weeks and months, they were begging me every time to meet , and when the things were getting better and i was giving the ok, they were backing off, shutting phones or avoiding me with lame excuses as " something happened," or" call u later" and were never really calling. .
So this ignorance in the dating site had an impact on my attitute... it made me feel awful, unsexy, i became introvert because i was afraid that if i talk to anyone, he will reject me....Nobody found a boyfriend fom these sites...Now i stopped using gayromeo and i feel better.
So as an advise from someone that studied a lot this course, i would recomend u not to look for in a dating site but in real life, be very extrovert guy, join some gay groups to meet gay people , go out in gay bars, and be open to everyone.
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Wow, I mean I know it's hard to find some truthful boys online but not impossible, in fact I have two friends who I met online, it didn't worked out between us, but the point is. there's still good boys out there, you just need to learn to discern, and even so you'll bump into some mistakes until you find some worth guy, but that is basically the same meeting people in real lfe, so wether you decide to try online meeting or not just basically be careful, be friendly, but don't wear your heart in your sleeve.
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I might be the only one here, but I think dating and hookup sites are very good if you know what you want.
OKCupid is a good site, but you have to fill in your profile properly and make a point out of pointing out what you want. Pictures of yourself from several different locations/angles might be a good idea too, to make sure people genuinely can tell what you look like.
Then, say what you're after.
Is it sex? Sex and friendship? Relationship?
How do you intend to find it?
From my experience dating sites work for dates, and sex. You just have to have a nice date, and gauge the interest. Even if you're meeting for sex you can make it fun.
A good policy is to make it clear you want to meet in real life as soon as possible after starting to talk to someone. I have found it useful to exchange numbers or skype and have a chat, as a sortoff first date thing. Then if you seem to get along, try and meetup. If you can't meet withn about 2-4 weeks then the person will keep making excuses and you need to move on.
Online dating is like looking for a job, you need to have several applications going on, then go for a few interviews, Maybe work (sex) a bit on the side and then see where things go.
When you meet people in real life is when you will know where it goes. There are people just looking for sex, just looking for a date and then they realise it doesn't work etc.
Keep your mind and eyes open. Be honest and treat each meetup as just that. Use grinder etc for sex when thats what you want and use dating sites for that when thats what you want. If you're clear, stating you're up for hookups, short term dating and longterm dating and suss the person, then it works.
I have been successful on both accounts and have only good things to say about dating sites, though I'm mostly in the swedish, dutch and uk areas so it might be culturally different for you.
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^^^ I think it is cultural. I am in conversations with other guys from other places and they report different experiences than we have in Amerika.
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TKC Wrote:That said, apparently we have a match-making agency, here in town, that takes two people they deem are compatible, doesn't share any information about either to the other, and then randomly sends them a text saying "You're meeting your next date at x location at x time. They will be wearing x and you need to wear x to identify yourself". You never get a description, you never get a picture, you never have any idea about who you're meeting. That sounds *SUPER* fun to me!
Sounds scary as shit to me.
Just what I need, a blind date with Jeffery Dahmer, Charles Manson, or Hannibal Lector.
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To be fair, its all a crap shoot. And its all just like going to the bars. Regardless of what they look like and how they dress, 99% are nothing but liars, cheats, and thieves.
I visited some "social groups" here in Dallas before, that claim they are in existence because they dont like the bar scenes and want a place to meet "real" men. LMFFFAO!!! They are nothing like their descriptions...they are EXACTLY like the bars. Only there for hookups.
The last "social club" I visited was all "cliques". I walked into this large meeting room, and there were about 5 separate "cliques" all over, huddled together laughing and talking. Even the moderator was up at the podium in his little hen group.
So, there I stood, everybody looked at me when I walked in, and then turned around back to their hen groups. Ignoring a new person who just walked in.
So I just walked out.
Never wasted my time on that garbage again.
IF I happen to meet someone or they have an interest in me, it will be from working with them, or when I am out shopping, or what ever. Bars, "social clubs", and date sites are for liars, cheats, thieves, and frauds.
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