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I'm a : Gay Man in an Open Gay Relationship
Starsign:  Virgo
Mood:
PoeticJustice Wrote:I feel like Im going to be single forever being Gay it's just always something when it comes to trying to get in a relationship. I've tried the whole hookup sites and stuff but hooking up its just not me after the fact I feel disgusting and dirty , it's just not me but I'm at the point were I don't know what to ! I mean I'm young 18 but still . Any Advice ?
It seems quite average to of not been in a relationship by your age.
I'm in my first, and it seems even then, some people wait a lot longer.
Stay optimistic, and don't focus too much on trying to find someone.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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IMHO, you're in a PRIME spot to be single and my hope is that you thoroughly enjoy it. 18 is such a weird age, at least if you're anything like me. At 18, I was legally an adult, but emotionally not so much. I had all the energy in the world, and could make the time to do anything that interested me. I was unencumbered, and free as a bird, and the only thing I wanted was to be loved and to love someone in return.
Looking back, now, 10 years later, I only wish I had enjoyed that time much more to cultivate myself as an individual. I think that it's fairly normal, but I'll only speak to my experience. I didn't really start transitioning into adulthood and the man I am today until my mid-twenties. The last three years have solidified that for me. And, while I'm ever changing, my core is the same now on the daily, where at 18 I was a completely different person every day.
If you're not already, I'd say go out, explore a million different things, find new and different things to do. Do things that you question whether you will enjoy or not (that are safe), really take on finding out who you are. The side effect of that is that the more alive and vivacious you are, the more you experience, the more you will understand what are and aren't dealbreakers. AND, the more you enjoy life, the more you'll find people naturally entering your realm that enjoy it to.
A good relationship is AMAZING, but realize that more often than not you have to kiss a few toads to find Prince Charming. Trust - I've kissed a great deal. But, the more balanced and grounded I become, the more I meet people who are closer and closer to my ideal partner.
Single can be as amazing as being in a relationship, but in completely different ways. I would thoroughly encourage you to enjoy it as much as possible. It can be a gift that actually helps you land the long-term relationship of your dreams.
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What Chas said. Also I believe we find relationships when we are least focused on finding them.
We are more relaxed and ourselves. Sometimes intimate relationships grow into something permanent, often without our being aware of the precise point it happened.
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Travel, discover yourself and continue to construct yourself!! Don't be bogged down with relationship stuff now! When I was 18 I was cruising the Saharan deserts and making friends all around the world! I am 25 now and i am still learning about myself and continuing to better myself!
The relationship will come when you least expect it 
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I'm four years older than you and I still haven't had a relationship. Don't panic. It is hard to find a relationship period no matter who you are, let alone if you're gay. Sucks, but that's the harsh truth. I'm trying to work on myself right now so I can be better prepared for when the time comes that I do find someone (hopefully that happens) so I can have a healthy relationship. It's like a dull ache sometimes if you dwell on it, so I try to avoid that.
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Relationships are hard. I'm 34, i've never had a good one. I've met some nice guys, but still trying to find that one.
I'm sure he's there, just gotta find him.
Meanwhile I keep plugging away, (Safely of course).
Richard
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Yeah,
You're 18 you should enjoy it while it lasts. I sure did when I was 18 so much so that most of it was pretty hazy..
Anyways, I know what you mean, specially when you look around and you see your friends get in and out of relationship so quickly.
I've been single for.. a long time now. I've met a few guys here and there, but nothing really concrete. So I decided awhile back to work on myself, to find out who I really am and what I really want out of life. I've stopped looking and I'm just going with the flow, if it happens, it'll happen.
You shouldn't look for someone to complete you. You should already feel complete when you meet your guy.
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I think because many of us are in the closet, or maybe have only some kind of similar fear.
Even straight people fear of being rejected, but we act with more wariness because in many society the risk is high...
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At age 18 I was a Junior in high school, crushing on a straight cowboy.
I'm 22 now. That guy became my friend, indirectly revealed he was afraid of gay men, and I never heard from him again.
I've also gone on six dates - all from online dating, and I'm still single. I'll mention that I've had short "relationships" (lasting barely a month) and one long distance "relationship" that lasted for the better part of two months.
Trust me, life changes in the blink of an eye. Not trying to scare you or anything, but I think we all have our time with a special lover. It just takes patience (funny, reading that from an Aries). It's just the way it is.
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ChrisH Wrote:Trust me, life changes in the blink of an eye. Not trying to scare you or anything, but I think we all have our time with a special lover. It just takes patience (funny, reading that from an Aries). It's just the way it is.
I'd like to think that's true, I'm still looking out for that "special" lover too.
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