Bisexuality. Yeah, it's back.

[sillyboy86]

I remember the (cool) post of Megumi. She said "I'm *hergirlfriendname*sexual"

[Bowyn Aerrow]

[MisterTinkles]

Yes, I am going there again. Some of you will hate me for it, but I really do not give a damn. It needs to be said, since it was just swept under the rug before.
Rip that rug off the floor then!!!

This is a problem that has been bugging me since before I even came out. It was also part of why I didn't want to come out; there was nowhere that I belonged. Why is it that in the LGBT community, there still exists a social stigma towards bisexuality and pansexuality? Are we still stuck in the bigoted mindset that everyone who belongs to a certain sexuality is exactly the same? And why must we be forced to pick a sexual identity which fits into what others think is acceptable right now?
Pansexuality? Oh gawd, not ANOTHER label!!

Let's start with what bisexuality really means to clear up exactly what we're even talking about. The prefix "bi" means two, which leads to most people thinking that bisexuals are just into men and women. The other main options are "homo" and "hetero," which mean "same" and "different." So if bi includes both "same" and "different" attractions, bisexuality can include attraction to others who are like us and not like us. In a way, bisexuality is the same as, or at least borders on, pansexuality for a good number of people. Some bisexuals do only like men and women though. Others do not have that limitation.
Imma bit cornfuzed with these last two sentences. What else is there besides men and women? Is bestiality integrated into this now??????

It's not about who we are attracted to. It's more about the fact that we do not limit our dating pool based on gender or similar factors. Heterosexuals limit their dating pool to the opposite gender and homosexuals limit their dating pool to the same gender. Bisexuals or pansexuals (whichever term you prefer) do not limit themselves to that factor. That's really all there is to it.
[COLOR="blue"]There isnt much difference between the attraction factor or limiting your dating pool. I mean, if you arent attracted, you arent going to date them I assume?
[/COLOR]

Now to the many stereotypes I've heard...

"Bisexuality is just a phase." or "Bisexuals are just confused"

Many people believe that bisexuality is just a phase people go through before they discover their true sexual identity. This seems to be one of the most common beliefs. This may be true for some people who have later come out as gay, which is likely why this idea even exists in the first place. But just because a few people have gone that path, does it mean that all bisexuals are that way? Don't many people who come out as gay start by identifying themselves as straight first? By that logic, we could say that all straight people are really just going through a phase before they find their true sexual identity. The truth is that some people are truly bisexual, and it is not a phase that just passes over time. It is a legitimate sexuality that needs to be respected. We do exist and we are not going to pick sides just to make you happy.
For some, it is a phase, because they still dont know WHO they are. All this conflicting media bullshit, gay stereotyping, who you ARE and ARENT supposed to date from "religious" sects, etc..... Some people are confused and want to see if they do actually like men or women. They are just finding themselves. One can put all the labels on oneself they want too, but its just going to keep feeding the confusion.

"If you are in a relationship with the same gender, you are gay. If you are in a relationship with the opposite gender, you are straight."

This is a fun one. The problem with this is that sexuality is not about who you are currently in a relationship, nor who you are currently having sex with. It is more the ability to have those relations. Bisexuality is about who you are capable of being attracted to. If I am dating a man, I can still be attracted to women. And if I am dating a woman, I can still be attracted to men. That is what makes me bisexual. I don't have to be with both at the same time. Say, for instance, I am dating someone with brown hair. Does that mean I can't like people with red hair? Am I forever locked in the status of someone who just likes brown hair?
Again, labels and stereotypes. We can, again, thank the religious zealots for this. They have forged the labels and "do's" and "do nots" of what they think is a "proper life" for the people they rule. It has just become "the way it is" through the ages, because most people are just sheep and follow. They cannot, willnot think for themselves. Therefore people such as yourself have to fight the retardedness that has been fed to all these religious sheep through the ages.

"Bisexuals cannot be monogamous." or "Bisexuals are promiscuous."

This is one of my favorites. The idea is that because I am attracted to more than one gender, I am going to sleep with everyone I am attracted to and be unfaithful to anyone I am in a relationship with. Either that, or we have to be in open relationships or have threesomes. Let me use the example of hair color I used above again. If I am in a relationship with someone with brown hair, but am also attracted to another person with black hair, am I instantly going to go and fool around with the black-haired person just because I find them attractive? Does attraction always cause unfaithfulness? No. Unfaithfulness causes unfaithfulness. We are capable of a lifelong relationship, marriage or otherwise, with one person without being unfaithful to them. Next, am I going to insist that there be a threesome because I am attracted to multiple people? No. You have threesomes because you like threesomes. I find this myth the most amusing because I am "gifted" with such a low sex drive. I am attracted to both men and women, but I rarely ever have, or need, sex. When I am dating someone, I am purely theirs regardless of their gender. I do not mess around with anyone outside that relationship. I also hate threesomes and one-night-stands. I want to be with one person in a long and committed relationship. I just don't care what gender they are.
This particular comment is supposedly based in fact from "sex scientists"..mainly from the 1970's when all these "sex scientists" were popular. They (the sex scientists) apparently did studies on people who have no preference between male or female. This comment stems from most of the men "playing both fields", even after marriage...which is considered being untrustworthy. Bisexuals supposedly have a higher cheat factor because they do not feel limited to either men or women...therefore by this "scientific standard", these bisexuals dont consider it cheating if say, a man is married to a woman and has sex with a man. In his mind, he isnt cheating because he isnt having sex with another woman. But in reality he is, because he made vows at the wedding and from what people believe marriage is. This is one of the explanations for this comment.

"A bisexual will eventually leave me for someone of the other gender."

Sure, a bisexual may break up with you. There are many things besides gender that cause breakups though. It isn't just because they got bored of whatever is in your pants. Their next partner may be someone of the other gender. It may also be someone of the same gender. Breakups happen. People find new relationships. Bisexuals just don't care about the gender of that next relationship. Maybe the next person is just a better person than you are.
The "scientific fact" behind this, is that if a man really prefers men, he will have a boyfriend or get "married" to another man until he feels threatened by outside sources (church, state, government), then he will switch teams as it were, to keep from being "outed", beaten, threatened, or killed. Now remember, this was the 1970's.

"Women can be bisexual, but men cannot."

This one makes absolutely no sense to me. Why would any sexual identity ever be limited to your gender? I don't even know where to go with this one. If someone actually believes this, please explain it to me. All I can think of is that women aren't as afraid to be honest about their sexuality, so you do see more of them out of the closet. Kudos to them. There's no reason to be afraid. Well us male bisexuals exist too, and I'm no longer afraid.
Again, from the religious zealots. They take the text "man shall not sleep with man" literally. Their bible says nothing about women sleeping together, only men. So figure that one out!!!

"In order to be bisexual, you have to be equally attracted to men and women."

There is the idea that bisexual means 50% attraction towards either side. Really, bisexuality can mean 60%/40% or even 20%/30%. The total doesn't even have to add up to 100%. It can also mean 10%/30%/60%. As I've said above, it does not just have to be limited to two genders. For some (but not all), these numbers can even change over time. It never has to be half and half.
It is a misconception yes. But its a logical one. To the "public" way of thinking, if you like more men than women, your pretty much just GAY. If you like more women than men, then you are just a FREAK. But if you like 50/50, then you are bisexual. As you say, "bi" means two....or in this case two halves. Im just saying.....

"Bisexuals have the best of both worlds."

I love this one too. I may even have believed it at one time. We sure do have it great; don't we? We get to choose from a wide variety of both men and women and don't have to limit ourselves. Well that would be true if the above stereotypes didn't exist. Because we identify ourselves as bisexual, we do limit ourselves. We are not limited by the gender of people we may be attracted to; others limit us by deciding to never give bisexuals a chance. Among straight people, we are still seen as "queer," yet there is even less support to gain acceptance in that crowd. Among gay people, we still do not fit in because we are not "gay" enough. There is discrimination aimed at us from both worlds.
"BEST"? Exactly of what? This is more of a comment from those who are jealous that they are not true to themselves and can admit to themselves they can like another man, or another woman, THAT way. So they just say to those who arent afraid... "you get the best of both worlds".

"Bisexuals just want attention" or "Bisexuals just want to be cool."

After dealing with everything above, why would anyone choose to identify as bisexual? People who do just want the attention may be those who give light to the "just a phase" stereotype when the attention factor wears off. For the rest, it certainly isn't cool for us to not fit in. Why would anyone choose that?
Ive never heard this one, but Im sure there are hundreds of these idiotic sayings out there I have never heard of. I would say, again, this is from people who are jealous because they are afraid to be themselves.
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So what am I really trying to say with all this?

I am not just crying for attention or aiming to gather your sympathy. I don't want any of that crap. Nor am I saying that bisexuals face more discrimination than any other group. Yes, there are others out there who face, or have faced, much worse than us. This, however, is not a competition to say who has it worse. All I am saying is that we are people just like you, only we have a slightly different sexual identity. We do not want that to define who we are or how we are seen. We are just as capable of true relationships as you are. Get rid of the above stereotypes and treat us as equals in the human race, for better or for worse. We want understanding and respect. We want to be part of the LGBT "community." We are just like you.
The "LGBT" community is more hateful, biased, and bigoted among themselves than most of the "fag bashers" could ever hope to be. I am shunned by the "LGBT" community JUST because I believe in monogamy, and dont believe in sleeping with some guy on the first date, or go to the bars picking up guys for sex. Thats not me, never will be.

[COLOR="blue"]All of my opinions are based on what I have read from these "sex scientists", been told by bisexuals, and have "heard on the street" from people talking.

For me, personally, I think there is no such thing as bisexual...you just have'nt figured out who you are yet. But thats what I believe.

I also think all these dumbassed, stupid, imbecilic names and labels need to stop!
You fall in love with who you fall in love with, dont be coming up with stupid new names for it. Pansexuality....REALLY????? Sounds like someone who has sex with bakeware.
That makes me laugh too hard.

Another "myth" from a "scientific" point of view is that who you are attracted too is the result of the amount of chromosomes one has in ones body. You are attracted to one sex more than the other because you have more than one chromosome in your body. Bisexuals supposedly have exactly, equal amounts of chromosomes in their bodies....hence the attraction/liking both sexes.[/COLOR]

[VileKyle]

Sorry if you don't want to hear it. It had to be said anyways. Go away if you don't like it. This is here for a reason: namely the feelings and actions previously seen on this very forum.

[VileKyle]

For me, personally, I think there is no such thing as bisexual...you just have'nt figured out who you are yet. But thats what I believe.

That's one of the biggest stereotypes I have a problem with. How can you say it does not exist? You are not bisexual, so it is very hard to judge from the outside. Bisexuality is the physical and/or emotional attraction towards either gender. Are you saying that it is impossible to be attracted to both men and women? How exactly is that impossible?

[Sylph]

In my opinion, You can fuck or be fucked by who ever the hell you want, within legal consent, and it shouldn't matter a nickel or a dime, much less a whole fucking dollar...

I used to have a girlfriend...a real one -.- ... but she was the only girl I was ever really attracted to, and had it not been for my boyfriend right after(he was my friend first), we probably would've gone out for only the Divine Tree knows how long. Even though it was obvi I was and am gayer than a 3 dollar bill on it's 1st Period...

It's really all in the mind, the labels I mean, while one person's POV can be one thing and correct to them, it isn't to you and it is not yours, so why allow it to bother you? People are gonna think and say what they want about you, to your face and behind your back until the day you or they die, so what's the point?

People dislike that I am feminine and somewhat portray some gay stereotypes, but that's me, it's who I am and how I believe I should live my life, so who gives two mermaid tits what haters gotta say?

I know it's frustrating and hurtful, but in life, many things are, but you just gotta persevere and to quote the bible (even though I am spiritually Agnostic) "This too, shall pass".

Every obstacle in this life are hurdles and hoops you gotta jump through to learn the lesson they're trying to teach you, so that you are ready for your victory at the finish line. Don't let distractions and outside influences trip you up Sis, buckle down.

[VileKyle]

In my opinion, You can fuck or be fucked by who ever the hell you want, within legal consent, and it shouldn't matter a nickel or a dime, much less a whole fucking dollar...

I used to have a girlfriend...a real one -.- ... but she was the only girl I was ever really attracted to, and had it not been for my boyfriend right after(he was my friend first), we probably would've gone out for only the Divine Tree knows how long. Even though it was obvi I was and am gayer than a 3 dollar bill on it's 1st Period...

It's really all in the mind, the labels I mean, while one person's POV can be one thing and correct to them, it isn't to you and it is not yours, so why allow it to bother you? People are gonna think and say what they want about you, to your face and behind your back until the day you or they die, so what's the point?

People dislike that I am feminine and somewhat portray some gay stereotypes, but that's me, it's who I am and how I believe I should live my life, so who gives two mermaid tits what haters gotta say?

I know it's frustrating and hurtful, but in life, many things are, but you just gotta persevere and to quote the bible (even though I am spiritually Agnostic) "This too, shall pass".

Every obstacle in this life are hurdles and hoops you gotta jump through to learn the lesson they're trying to teach you, so that you are ready for your victory at the finish line. Don't let distractions and outside influences trip you up Sis, buckle down.

It matters because stereotypes need to go. I hate homophobia, racism, sexism, religionism, biphobia, and all other forms of prejudice. What bothers me most about this specific topic is that it is even a problem here. This is a LGBT website about tolerance towards sexuality. Since tolerance is not awarded to my sexuality, it is a very serious problem to me. It may not bother you, but you cannot rule out other people being very much bothered.

[MisterTinkles]

That's one of the biggest stereotypes I have a problem with. How can you say it does not exist? You are not bisexual, so it is very hard to judge from the outside. Bisexuality is the physical and/or emotional attraction towards either gender. Are you saying that it is impossible to be attracted to both men and women? How exactly is that impossible?

I dont say I dont believe in it because I dont BELIEVE in it.....Im saying I dont believe in it, because its moronic to be putting such labels on people.

Im not saying someone cant be attracted to both sexes, Im saying that there doesnt need to be stipulatory, pigeonholed, stereotypes. No "gay", no "straight", no "bi", no "anything else".....you are just human and you are attracted to who you are attracted too, PERIOD.
No "names" for it, no "labels" for it.....just a human being with feelings for another human being.

Im trying to extinguish these "labels", not exacerbate them.

[VileKyle]

I dont say I dont believe in it because I dont BELIEVE in it.....Im saying I dont believe in it, because its moronic to be putting such labels on people.

Im not saying someone cant be attracted to both sexes, Im saying that there doesnt need to be stipulatory, pigeonholed, stereotypes. No "gay", no "straight", no "bi", no "anything else".....you are just human and you are attracted to who you are attracted too, PERIOD.
No "names" for it, no "labels" for it.....just a human being with feelings for another human being.

Im trying to extinguish these "labels", not exacerbate them.

Forget the labels then. I'm just saying that there are people who are attracted to both men and women. They (we) are not a myth or a lie, nor are we transitioning. I am not big of labels either, but they are useful when trying to convey an idea. One of the big points of my first post was that we do not all fit into one neatly wrapped package.

[MisterTinkles]

Forget the labels then. I'm just saying that there are people who are attracted to both men and women. They (we) are not a myth or a lie, nor are we transitioning. I am not big of labels either, but they are useful when trying to convey an idea. One of the big points of my first post was that we do not all fit into one neatly wrapped package.

I understand what you are saying.

All people are undermined by labels and names.
I just dont get why there needs to be MORE labels and names, instead of just trying to get rid of the ones that already exist. I think thats my point Im trying to make.:biggrin:

WHO does fit neatly into one stereotypical labeled package? I certainly dont fit into the "gay" one.