Arkansota Wrote:If you're going to be rude, please leave this thread.
I don't think he's trying to be rude, just to impart a little wisdom through humour. There's a possibility you're taking him a bit literally, which given what you've said about yourself is understandable.
Anyway, he's Canadian, I don't think they have rude over there. Also he's right in his conclusion but I don't think he's pointing the finger at you in making it.
As to the question in your post...
If it's possible, you might be better off trying to mix with gay people in groups and form ordinary friendships first. That way you'll be among people who can give you hints and nudges about what to make of different people.
In any such group much of it will be gossip and some of it malicious (unless things have changed radically since I was in your position) but it's all the information you'll have.
You are fairly unlikely to fall under the influence of some evil Svengali-like character in the group situation too. The situation will help put into focus the warning signs if you do. For example, does a person want to separate you from the group.
I was never a real fan of the "scene" back in the day but I knew that whatever venue I found myself in there was a friend or acquaintance I could talk to, even if it was just to enable me to shake off some unwanted attention. Modesty prevents me boasting about all the unwanted attention I used to get, sadly so does history.
I understand your autism may make groups difficult to handle but that's a skill you'll have to pick up whatever happens. You don't need a huge group, there's no better support than a few friends.
So perhaps the best thing to aim for in the immediate term is not finding The One, but a bunch of people.