My boyfriend broke up with me and doesn't explain why he did it. What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

I hope some of you here might help me with the situation in my life. I’m gay and some time ago I got dumped by my boyfriend. We were together for 6 years and it was the happiest time of my life. Everything was perfect, we always had time each for other and nothing else mattered. We almost didn’t argue at all. I loved him to pieces and I know he loved me too. And now one day he just told me that it’s over. He said that we’re not a couple anymore and he never wants to see me again. Of course, I was unpleasantly surprised and upset. I couldn’t believe it and I still can’t believe it’s over.

And the weirdest thing is that he doesn’t want to explain me why he did it. He only said that it's better for us to break up. I think that after all these years that we spent together, I deserve at least an explanation. I just want to know what happened. I don’t believe he doesn’t love me anymore, I don’t think that love can disappear so fast. The day before he broke up with me, everything was wonderful, we had a great time snuggling on the couch, watching movies. And then he suddenly tells me everything is over and obviously expects me not to ask anything. How should I react? He’s my only love and I’m really hurt. He avoids me and he doesn’t look very happy as well. He refuses to talk to me but I want to know what’s wrong, I want to know the reason behind his behavior. Maybe it’s just some misunderstanding or something that we can fix. A friend of mine told me to just grab him and hold until he starts talking, but it would be too brutal. What should I do?

[pellaz]

its something you dont want to hear.
what ever the reason be cool, he is not worth it.

[Jake]

Let the dust comes down... if he doesn't want to talk about it, although I agree that after 6 years of relationship YOU deserve an explanation, forcing him won't do much, it will make it worse.

Perhaps you should also do a small retrospective of your relationship and see where it could have gone wrong... How did you guy deal with disagreement in your couple, do you remember any time at all when he became distant. Was there any signs; sexual, non-sexual. There's always a hint that will perhaps help you find out why out of the sudden he decided to stop loving you. Also my dear friend... just one piece of advice... call your doctor and setup an appointment for a full STD and AIDS checkup.

[Dan1980]

You deserve to know why this happened after so long together.

[MisterTinkles]

He found another guy.

What a prick. No balls to talk to you about it.
Spineless piece of crap he is.

[Jake]

He found another guy.

What a prick. No balls to talk to you about it.
Spineless piece of crap he is.

Yep I have the impression that's exactly what happened hence why I suggest the op to have a full doctor check up

[Evan]

I think people are jumping at conclusions here. What do we know about this guy or the relationship him and the OP had? Absolutely nothing at all. So there's no need to call him names or worry the OP by coming up with possible worst case scenarios.

So, OP.. the fact of the matter is, none of us know why he broke up with you, until you guys talk about it. Whatever it is, he's clearly upset about it, ashamed about it, or doesn't know how to tell you. If I were you I'd send him a message/email saying exactly how you feel about the breakup and explaining why it would mean a lot to you if he could just tell you what his reasons are, because it comes out of the blue for you. If you guys have been together for six years, I doubt he'll really refuse to ever talk with you about it again.

[LateBloomer]

I totally agree with EVERYONE. And yes, name calling is not helpful.

But there is a reason and you deserve to know what it is.

He's apparently not happy and not saying why. There is a reason.

Another guy?
A disease?
Or both.

I would explain to him that you will respect his desire to remain apart, but for your own piece of mind you deserve that explanation.

I also agree that it may take a little time (after the dust settles as Jake put it).

Good luck.

[MisterTinkles]

When you have dealt with as many problems like this, as I have had to deal with from helping others, even without knowing exactly why..........this is "standard procedure" for when they have found someone else. I can say with 99% certainty that he was dumped for another guy.

Guys ending relationships like this, in this manner, will all have different "signs" and "smells" to them.

This one reeks of another guy.

And it is at this I can "toot my own horn" because even after all these years, I have yet to be wrong.

But if I am, I would certainly like to know.......from the OP that is.

[Ryocchi]

You know, when someone who supposedly love you/loved you hurts you like this, reasons doesn't matter, throw away anything that reminds you of him, have a medical check asap and move on with your life.

Wathever the reason is, it's meaningless.